Thursday, January 31, 2008

How Do You Lose A Day?


Can somebody please answer that question for me? How is it possible to lose a whole freaking day, because my ass most diffinitely managed to do it. Yeap, that's right folks. I haven't quite hit forty, but senility is kicking my black ass. The on set of it is a bitch, and to be aware if it coming ain't no joke.
Let me tell you what happened. This might be a boring ass story, so feel free to stop reading now and move on to the next blog. Or, you can just answer the question. You don't have to have read my sad tale in order to give a brother some insight.
At any rate, my body, which I can usually always count on to get me up in time for important events, snaps me awake @ 6:05. And when I tell you I must have been sleeping better than a bear on a honeycomb overdoes, you best believe it, because when I looked at the clock and saw what time it was I went into a panic. My ass was late for the very first over-time assignment I have been allowed to work since I got promoted to sergeant. (What better way to set an example and build confidence in your troups than to be late, right?) Well, you should have saw me. My mind went into a tizzy. Why didn't my television turn on to wake me up like it was suppose to? Had I set it for the wrong time? Which is completely possible. Had there been a power outage that reset the time on my television? This too is not beyond the relm of possiblities, because for some reason when my power goes off my t.v's time will reset to midnight, but not my phone clock. Go figure. Anyway, no time to wonder about that. My ass was suppose to be at the station at 5pm! I'm already an hour late and I am no where near in a suitable condition to report to work. Fuck it! If I hurry, I'll just be an hour and thirty minutes late, big deal. As long as the troops showed up on time, they already know what is expected of them on these over-time assignments. I'm just there to sign their over-time cards and caculate their activity and the amount of over-time money was expended for the day. Still, why didn't anybody from the station call to inquire where I was? I figured that maybe they just didn't call sergeants on such matters. Hell, I didn't know, this shit is still new to me.
Anyway, It is now six oh seven and and I am ashy, unshaven, and disoreinted then a bitch (and probably a little bit musty). No time to shave, no time to bush my teeth, no time to do shit but throw on my uniform and get out the door. Lawd knows that at this point I don't want to be more than an hour and a half late. So, I throw on my uniform, find a pair of mix-matched socks to put on with my boots (no one will notice), squeese some toothpaste in my mouth, add warm water and swish (yeah, that'll work), wet a wash cloth and scrub the top on my head with it (the ghetto version of washing my hair) and then under both arm pits, but I'll be damned if I didn't forget to follow with deooderant (I wonder how long that will ward off the funk monsters?). Did I mention that I didn't bother to put on any drawers? Then I grab my keys, set my alarm and I am out the door.
I Run by the mail box. Check it. It's empty. Not uncommon. Sometimes I don't get any mail, not even junk, but still....now I am wondering if it 6am or 6pm. Where are the noisy ass kids that normally keep me up playing basketball or talking loud (not always but some times). Oh, well, jump in my car. They are playing music, but is this am music or pm music. I can't tell and I am not so in tune with my radio stations that I keep track of the different voices of my dj's. So, I am driving like a bat out of hell (please don't wreckout, please don't get pulled over). As I am driving I am thinking about all of this, in the back of my mind I am still wondering..is this morning traffic or evening traffic? I am looking at the darkness and wondering if it is morning darkness or evening darkness? I am looking at the lights on the businesses and the highway and wondering if these are morning lights or evening lights? Is this even Thursdays? Was yesterday Wednesday? Yeah, this has to be Thursday, because I looked at American Idol and the Real World Road Rules Challenge yesterday. But what time did I do to sleep? How long had I slept? I remembered talking to my twin, because she is the one that got me hyped up to do a post on the whoremongering Mayor, but still...Was I just wakiing up from an afternoon nap sleep or was I awakening from my day off, night time slumber? I honestly couldn't remember. I couldn't remember if I had feed the dog before I went to sleep. I didn't remember doing anything at all Thursday. Hell, it is not uncommon for my lazy ass not to do anything at all. But still, how had it gotten to be 6 in the evening?
Had I even eatten? Fuck, Fuck Fuck. What time is it? Is it AM or PM? Seriously, I had no idea. Until I drive up into the parking lot of our substation and I see Lisa's White Hummer. Lisa is a deep night sergeant, like me. She would still be at work so yeap, it is now 6:30 in the morning and I feel like a fool. How the fuck did I manage to lose a whole fucking day. And the reality is that I didn't even lose it, I just started the damn day too early. Hell, I didn't even get as much sleep as I thought I had. What the fuck is up with that? I'm telling yall...senility is kicking my ass!
I called Lisa and told her what I had done and she says I am just stressed out about all the drama that went on a couple of days back. I hope not, because I try not to bring the drama from work home with me. My mindset, when I get home and take off that uniform is Fuck the Police. LOL...No not really, but is is fuck all the childish drama and games going on. I don't have time or energy to waste dealing with it in my own house. Still, I can't believe that I fucked myself out of some much needed sleep time. Me and my brain are gonna have to have a little heart to heart talk. It probably thinks this shit is funny, but I got something for his ass (how do you punish a brain?)

-One Man's Opinion. Peace.

13 comments:

Karrie B. said...

lmaooooooo...i just blogged abt sleep deprivation a couple days ago in "thoughts of a bitter whore". i don't know if there's a way for you to punish your brain, but i hope u get some sleep...

-karrie b.

mp1 v.8.0 said...

haha. damn, homie, yo brain playing tricks on ya. watch bet all day. that'll be enough punishment for it.

fuzzy said...

lol Forced bad tv programming is a good way.

I have slept for approximately an hour or two and woke at about the same time I would wake in the morning but on the PM side. I get dressed and go to work. Hmmm Why is it so crowded? There must of been a sale i was uninformed about! Nope that nap felt so good it felt like a whole nights rest!

I was embarrassed! My boss told me to buy a watch with the date and time and to look at it often!

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL@ ghetto version of a hair wash.
Can I nick you senility graphic?
Ty

guerreiranigeriana said...

lmao!!!...and you're only 40?...better go get some gingko bilboa or however you spell it...

Opinionated Diva said...

awwwwwww poor boo boo!

I suggest you set your clock to army time from now on. LOL

How do men forget to put on undies? Don't you get caught in the zipper or something? Jussssst wondering!

Darius T. Williams said...

it happens to everyone at least once, right?

Mizrepresent said...

Sounds like you really need some rest and relaxation for real...

IVENTBYBLOGGING said...

yeah Twin, been there done that. you def need some rest. Let it go. lol ashy-that's nothing new! :)

nikki said...

yup. it's official. you old, dude. might as well put yourself out to pasture. at least there you won't get confused about what time of the day it is.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Thanks a lot, Nikki. LOL


It's so weird...I figured it out. I had only went to sleep about two and a half hours prior. I have no idea why I felt so well rested.

MP1, why you hating on BET?

Ubermouth, the ghetto hair wash is still patent pending.

Er, "g"....What?

Diva, I had no time for underwear. I just threw on my pants.

Darrius, thank you. That's good to know.

Ms. Behaving said...

Worry not my brotha...it happens to the best of us...

LMAO!!!

Rodney said...

I can't remember the las time I lost a day, but I lost last night. Been up reading and posting for the past 12 hours.