Retire, My Ass!

Okay, this is gonna be old news. A lot of you have probably already heard about this, but I have nothing else to talk about and it’s “anything goes, Sunday”.
Seeing that I have been on this musical kick lately. I was thinking about 50 cent and why it is we have not heard anything about his impending retirement. As everyone knows, big 50 had proclaimed that if the release of his new CD, “Curtis” did not out sell Kanye’s, “Graduation” he would retire from the rap game. His exact quote was, “I’ll write music and work with other artist, but I won’t put out any more solo albums.” (Hell, that statement alone should have been enough to show he wasn’t completely confident in his selling prowess). Well, September 11th has come and gone and still no word on this Busters retirement.
Graduation took number on the Billboard 200 by selling 957,000 copies, where as Curtis sold a mere 691,000. Can I get somebody to do the math? That is a difference of 255,000. Where I come from that means that Kanye skunked 50 in the record sells race Of course, instead of taking his defeat gracefully, 50 instead chose to accuse Def Jam records, Kanye’s record label, of inflating Mr. West’s sell by buying most of the CD’s their damn selves (if this was the case, he most be kicking his label’s ass for not thinking that shit up first). Big Fiddy says this must be the case, because in Kanye’s whole career, as an artist, he hadn’t managed to sell half as much as him (and I thought Kanye was the whiner of the bunch). Needless to say, Fiddy’s claims were debunked by Geoff Mayfield, of Billboard, who says; “The people who build SoundScan put safeguards in place to track sales that don’t look kosher.” (Sounds as if our boy Mayfield has been listening to fellow blogger mp1)
A radical Christian group, by the name of The Resistance has been calling for the retirement of half dollar. They have proclaimed that, “The world would be a better place when this Satanic piece of filth retires and stops making music.” (Ow! Harsh. Whatever happened to “judge not less you be judged” and why the hell are they even listening to 50 cent to begin with? These bastards… (can you call a group of so-called Christians bastards?) Anyway, these bastards have even gone so far as to ask that anyone who supports them in their efforts to get Mr. Cent to retire, go to the rappers MySpace page http://www.myspace.com/50cent and post messages urging him to keep his word on retirement. Can you believe that shit? (Plus, I think it is funny as hell that the man even has a MySpace page. And yes, I know, everybody has one nowadays. The shit is still funny to me.)
Of course, none of this crap is working and why should it? I didn’t believe the man had any intention of retiring anyway and anyone who thought he would is an idiot. Yeah, I said it! Fiddy saying that I will retire if Kanye outsells me is equivalent to a five year old saying I bet you a million dollars I can jump over that puddle. Neither wager holds any merit. So, if I was Fiddy, I would have just told anyone who was sweating me about my retirement to go fuck themselves. After all, the man is trying to make money. But Fiddy, ever the gentleman, did not take that path. Instead he went in found himself a loop hole. Fiddy has proclaimed that the reason that he does not have to retire is because his album was Number One in sells. In Europe! That’s right, bitches. Curtis was Number One on the British Charts the week of its release. Horary! We all know how hardcore American Rappers long to for that mantel of International sales hype.
I gotta hand it to Fiddy, though. He pulled that one out of his ass. And you gotta admit…the man takes one hell of a good picture.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

(Hey, did yall like the way I used the word ‘prowess’ in a sentence? I been learning myself some new words.)