Friday, November 16, 2007

Bonds on Bond


I think this is my easiest post to date. Just go back to the October 7th archive of my blog, click on The Fastest Woman on Steroids and every place you see the name Marion Jones, replace it with the name Barry Bonds. Post complete.

I guess it was yesterday that Mr. Bond was brought up on charges of four counts of perjury and obstruction of justice, to boot. These charges come after Mr. Bonds testified to not being aware of his steroid usage (amazing). The man now faces up to thirty years behind jail house bars. Thirty years, people! The Nigger is 43 already (which isn’t old, but it’s too old to be getting your ass hauled off to jail).

I will say this….I did my research and Barry Bonds is one bad Mother. This year alone, at the ripe ole age of 43, he still managed to knock out 28 home runs and led the National League in on-base percentage for the 10th time in a row. Now, I’m just gonna say it, I’m no sports fans so I have no idea what that means, but it sound pretty damn impressive. He even finished 6th in OPS (on-line base plus slugging). Again, I didn’t have the foggiest notion as to what that meant, so I looked it up. The OPS measures a player’s ability to hit the ball and get safely to the base. Apparently it is looked at as being a valuable tool for assessing the offensive skills of a player.

I will say this. I am not surprised that Barry Bonds is under investigation for the use of performance enhancing drugs. I have become so cynical in fact that I believe that anybody who is too good at anything is taking some type of steroid. Tiger Woods? Yeap, his Koblasian ass is on ‘roids. Picasso? You know his square tit painting ass was on something. Dig him up. Run a DNA. People who are too pretty or handsome? Steroids. People who are repulsively unattractive? Ugly Steroids. I could go on. So, if you wanna be beyond reproach, you got to just be an average Joe. Like me.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

6 comments:

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

LOL @ your last paragraph.

I'm waiting on "Sha Whitey" to try to bring Tiger down.

MsPuddin said...

Always tryna bring a successful brother to court…damn, damn, damn…everyone out doin’ they own dirt. So in order to not get caught and feel better about themselves, they try and stir sh*t up on someone else’s life…let Bonds pop his pills and hit home runs…what’s the big deal anyway?

guerreiranigeriana said...

hilarious post!...especially the end...

Marcol said...

Great post. I dont get how these folks think theyll never get caught. I mean ghessh youre black you know theyre watching your ass. Guess Bonds forgot that.

Marcol said...

Great post. I dont get how these folks think theyll never get caught. I mean ghessh youre black you know theyre watching your ass. Guess Bonds forgot that.

WhozHe said...

I've watched baseball for a number of years. I've been to several ball games in the past just to see Barry Bonds. I think his greed for money led him astray. He was an excellent ball player before steroids, but he wanted to hit the ball harder and further, and wanted to do so overnight. After steroids he just seemed to be a different player. A player now I'd make no special plans to go watch play ever agian.