What about a fuck buddy?
As you probably know by now, I am not on relationships. I had my heart broken at least twice and each time was harder than the last. My last real relationship was over ten years ago. Can you believe that crap? During the past couple of years I have dipped my two into the wade pool of relationships, but there is truly nothing out there worthy of my time or efforts. I am too old and set in my ways to settle for anything but true love. That means I am not all about your body, or about the net worth, nor your means of transportation. However, I am about the ass. I still like a nice ass, but other than that, I’m all good.
The reality is that I could give a damn about a long term relationship. I have bore witness to too many of those bad boys go down the toilet. And although, over the weekend I took photos of a good friend of mine’s wedding; as I lay here cropping and color correcting the more important shots, I can’t help but wonder how long this shit will last. Of course I hope that it last forever, that they can somehow manage to live forever in that joyous moment of love and family, but is that a reality? Probably not, but who knows. They may beat the odds. I certainly do hope so.
As for me, I have been contemplating the possibility of a fuck buddy. You know, a booty buddy, a friend with benefits, someone to bump nastiest with. You get the idea. There are so many pros to the idea of a fuck buddy; one being no more wrists cramps or fear of carpal-tunnel syndrome. You have a friend that you can go to the movies with, or whatever, and call when you feel the need for something more. All this without the complications and baggage of a true relationship. The beauty of the fuck buddy scenario is that you both go into it with a no strings attached mentality. You do you and I’ll do me. That way you each can still test the waters of possible relationships, if that is what you want to do. Go out on your dates and if you happen to find another man or woman that you wanna be monogamous with, more power to you. But until that day comes, let me be the one that scratches that itch. You scratch mine and I’ll scratch yours. It’s a beautiful thing.
The problem is finding your perfect fuck buddy. For me, it can’t be anyone in my existing circle of friends, because first of all; I’ve known them for so long that I can’t even begin to see them in that light. Second, you know that shit can only get messy and the whole point of a fuck buddy is to have a drama free existence. So that means you have to go out, which I rarely do, and hunt of the perfect fuckable friend. A fuckable friend is someone who you deem fuckable, which is probably the easiest part of the fuck buddy hunt. The buddy or friend part is where it gets complicated. This has to be someone that you are compatible with in some facet other than the bedroom, couch or living room floor, as the case maybe. The buddy has to be someone whose company you enjoy in other aspects of life. They have to be able to make you laugh, hold a conversation and be suitable to hang with the afore mentioned circle of friends.
Yeah, I know. It sounds like you are picking a soul mate, right? Wrong, because the beauty of the fuck buddy is that she or he thinks the same way you do. They don’t want a relationship right now, and they damn sho’ don’t want a relationship with yo rusty ass. You are just that piece of flesh that is fulfilling that carnal lust. And I’m okay with that.
LET THE HUNT BEGIN!
-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.