Monday, June 9, 2008

What About a Fuck Buddy?


What about a fuck buddy?

As you probably know by now, I am not on relationships. I had my heart broken at least twice and each time was harder than the last. My last real relationship was over ten years ago. Can you believe that crap? During the past couple of years I have dipped my two into the wade pool of relationships, but there is truly nothing out there worthy of my time or efforts. I am too old and set in my ways to settle for anything but true love. That means I am not all about your body, or about the net worth, nor your means of transportation. However, I am about the ass. I still like a nice ass, but other than that, I’m all good.

The reality is that I could give a damn about a long term relationship. I have bore witness to too many of those bad boys go down the toilet. And although, over the weekend I took photos of a good friend of mine’s wedding; as I lay here cropping and color correcting the more important shots, I can’t help but wonder how long this shit will last. Of course I hope that it last forever, that they can somehow manage to live forever in that joyous moment of love and family, but is that a reality? Probably not, but who knows. They may beat the odds. I certainly do hope so.

As for me, I have been contemplating the possibility of a fuck buddy. You know, a booty buddy, a friend with benefits, someone to bump nastiest with. You get the idea. There are so many pros to the idea of a fuck buddy; one being no more wrists cramps or fear of carpal-tunnel syndrome. You have a friend that you can go to the movies with, or whatever, and call when you feel the need for something more. All this without the complications and baggage of a true relationship. The beauty of the fuck buddy scenario is that you both go into it with a no strings attached mentality. You do you and I’ll do me. That way you each can still test the waters of possible relationships, if that is what you want to do. Go out on your dates and if you happen to find another man or woman that you wanna be monogamous with, more power to you. But until that day comes, let me be the one that scratches that itch. You scratch mine and I’ll scratch yours. It’s a beautiful thing.

The problem is finding your perfect fuck buddy. For me, it can’t be anyone in my existing circle of friends, because first of all; I’ve known them for so long that I can’t even begin to see them in that light. Second, you know that shit can only get messy and the whole point of a fuck buddy is to have a drama free existence. So that means you have to go out, which I rarely do, and hunt of the perfect fuckable friend. A fuckable friend is someone who you deem fuckable, which is probably the easiest part of the fuck buddy hunt. The buddy or friend part is where it gets complicated. This has to be someone that you are compatible with in some facet other than the bedroom, couch or living room floor, as the case maybe. The buddy has to be someone whose company you enjoy in other aspects of life. They have to be able to make you laugh, hold a conversation and be suitable to hang with the afore mentioned circle of friends.

Yeah, I know. It sounds like you are picking a soul mate, right? Wrong, because the beauty of the fuck buddy is that she or he thinks the same way you do. They don’t want a relationship right now, and they damn sho’ don’t want a relationship with yo rusty ass. You are just that piece of flesh that is fulfilling that carnal lust. And I’m okay with that.

LET THE HUNT BEGIN!

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

54 comments:

Shavon said...

Good luck! I had one awesome f*k buddy, we were friends first, but were always attracted, became 'buddies' -- and no we are back to being friends without it being messy. one in a million I tell ya!

RealHustla said...

So, if you weren't looking for a f*k buddy, and a woman made you a proposition to become her f*k buddy, tell the truth, what would you think of her?

Do you think that your relationship with your f*k buddy could turn into a love relationship?

How do you tell a woman that all you want is a f*k buddy? What if she agrees and doesn't like how you f*k, and cuts it off. Will your feelings be hurt?

The questions are endless, but I'll stop here.

One Man’s Opinion said...

There is no chance of the not liking how I fuck part. Let's just start there. I fuck like a man on a mission and it ain't impossible. LOL. I guess there is always the chance of hurt feelings, even with a fuck buddy. Thank you realhustla. Think you for killing the dream before it ever became a reality.

Gotta Let it Out said...

LOL @ real hustla... Guess I don't have to say a thing! LMAO!!!!

cathouse teri said...

Ha! I used to get contacted randomly all the time with requests like this. A guy would say hello and introduce himself and tell me he was looking for a fuck buddy, no strings attached. I would invariably say, "Well no shit! Who ain't! Get in line, motherfucker!" They might say something like, "I've never been much good at standing in line." And I'd say, "Well then, why start now?"

Thing is, it's hard to find a woman who of this same mind. I know they exist, because I am surely one of them. But it's more something you stumble into.

Men often do wind up on this sort of hunting tro[, because it really is hard work being in a relationship. The appeal of getting the good stuff without the work and the mess is really impossible to resist.

It's much easier on a woman who decides she just wants a fuck buddy or two than it is for a man. Men are chomping at the bit for such a chance!

cathouse teri said...

Sorry 'bout the typos. I have a possessed keyboard that needs replacing. :)

lyre said...

I wish I could do this. Unfortunately my heart is connected to to the pugnany.

Darius T. Williams said...

Wow...well be careful. Fuck buddies can have that shit and u have to be careful. Also be sure u don't catch feelings either. I had a dude that started with no strings attached...8 years later we r still attached.

Black Mamba said...

I had one in college...flippin awesome. Too bad he went back to Canada... Ahh well...

Best of luck in finding one... Too bad they don't have a f*ck buddy site similar to match.com, lmao!!! They do however have sugardaddy/mama's sites, had a friend tell me to check a link and my jaw hit the floor...HA!

Be safe!

cathouse teri said...

Well they do have such a site. At least one that I know of, because a gal I used to work for met her fuck buddy there. It's called Adult Friend Finders, or something like that. No doubt there are more. She managed to find a lot of hookups there.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

This post brought back some memories of my fuck buddy.

As Teri said, its hard finding a woman with the same mind frame. You know we catch feelings easily. Lol But there are some out there. My friends would ask me how I did it. Really I don't know. Guess I know the deal from jump and stick to that deal. Plus I wasn't looking for a relationship. I've been told I think like a man. Another thing I wasn't for hanging out with each other. Only hang out in the bedroom. Lol

Good luck with the search and be careful. Its 2008 and 1 out of 5 people have herpes. Hope I didn't kill your dream any further than what Realhustla did. Lol but that's real talk.

Curious said...

10 years? And I thought I was in bad shape with my 4 year hiatus.

I think you should go for the fuck buddy thing. I think you'll realize that apart from the sex, which might be good or just good enough, it will turn out to be empty and or lonely at times. And when you find you are just a number or a notch on the belt you'll think damn is this all there is. Maybe then you'll think that there could be more to life than just getting your knob polished and start looking for that person who will uplift you in ways that will make you feel more complete and whole.

Meanwhile, if you are worried about carpal tunnel syndrome, switch hands dammit.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

im looking for a few. as long as they dont say its too big

VertigoVirgo said...

gross.

DreamCop08 said...

okay One Man, you say you want a fuck buddy w/ no strings attached kind of a deal. just make sure that your azz dont get caught up. there is some good stuff out there that will have you losing your mind.

make sure you know what you are getting yourself into. think about this.

hope you enjoyed your weekend

Linda said...

I'm thinking.... that one of the two will end up heartbroken anyway. Because at least one is bound to get more feelings than the other.. so, I'm not sure whether or not you were asking for opinions, but if so, mine is 'bad idea'..

Hey.. do you want to see me start a riot again? *lol* I vote 'first marriage, than sex'.. since it's supposed to be that way. We did it that way, and our relationship couldn't be better.

If you look at the statistics, they are the strongest marriages too. Lowest divorce rates and all. And that's not because husbands beats wife and grounds her at home.. ;)

(and no, none of us lied about the past.. I can see you thinking that, *lol*)

Now watch them hate, hahahahaha ;)
Greetings from holland!

Mark D. Aster said...

It's one thing if a shameless, Godless, libertine like moi expressed such a sentiment. Being a libertarian type, I normally wouldn't even have batted an eyelash at this subject (might have yawned even). I guess I'm trying to square this out-the-blue subject with your professed religious belief, One Man.

Then again, black men have always had to deal with the sexual repressive nature of Christianity and Islam, versus our natural biological impulses (which are meant to be polygamous, not monogamous). Thus, the music of Marvin Gaye and Prince (pre-Jehovah's Witness).

If you are serious on this topic, I suggest you join a swingers club instead. You get the benefits of a "fuck buddy" while also being among folk who are diligent about STDs (yeah, there's the little monkey wrench in your lustful machinery). Of course, I don't know if your police district has some archaic "morals clause" type shit in your union contract.

naijalines said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
naijalines said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
naijalines said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
naijalines said...

Hey, trumps again! Have you considered writing as a career. You sure write well, too well in fact. Really enjoyed reading this.
Just for the record, I would have considered being your fuck buddy except:

1. Mr Strong will kill me!
2. How would one 'do it' across continents - down the phone or across the internet?!

Just kidding :D

Anyway, good luck bro. Can totally see your point. Hope you find what you're really looking 4 b4 fuck buddy turns up.

naijalines said...

I was thinking of writing a piece on this, as usual you beat me to it. Mine would be from a slightly different perspective. Watch my end.

naijalines said...

Don't know what happened here but there's a problem with posting comments. Then posted in multiple.

That Girl Tam said...

I tried to have a fuck buddy before, but mutha fuckas are always catching feelings - calling me wifey material and shit like that. Eww...

Granted, I AM wifey material (seeing how I've been married for 11 years), but damn. Some dudes (or maybe just the ones that I attract) try to kick it LONG TERM - and I wasn't looking for that. i was looking for fun...companionship in the darkness...maybe a free meal or two...lol

Either way I'm still down for the married life. It's work, but it's worth it and there's way too much drama in the dating world for me these days. I'd rather deal with someone and the baggage and bullshit I already KNOW, rather than dealing with some random fool and THEIR baggage and bullshit. At least I know what I'm already dealing with.

Rodney said...

I had one of those, but I thought it was a relationship.

Miss GypsyEyes said...

They can be good, hell they can be great but as you said it has to be the right person and from personal experience I advise that you not try to maintain the "friendship" part when either of you are in a relationship... too much insecurity breeds complications. Good luck, One Man, because you'll need it. I love my sisters(females in general) but most of them are unable to deal with the no strings aspect. I can't name one of my female friends who can do it. There are a few of us out there we're just far and few in between.

Miss GypsyEyes said...

You could always try craigslist...

Mark D. Aster said...

Miss Gypsyeyes may be on to something here, bro

http://dallas.craigslist.org/cas/708369306.html

Wow, and all this time I thought Craigs List was just soccer moms selling used furniture to other soccer moms!! Guess I really am an old codger, now.

dejanae said...

ha
be careful what u wish for

Stew said...

i agree with dejanae.

i have been thinking about the concept of fuck buddies lately, and i have come to the conclusion that maybe 2 out of 10 females are capable of TRULY having casual sex.

the odds are against you brother.

Mr. Jones said...

I'm totally fine with fuck buddies, but it can't be random. I'm not down with that. Ideally, I'd love a committed relationship. I think we all want that. In lieu of said relationship, however, I'd be totally open to the idea of having an sex agreement with someone. I've tried this in the past and it's worked initially, but even when most people say they're able to handle this sort of arrangement, they often can't.

Cocoa Rican said...

Anytime I've been single I've had a handful of very creative and fun-loving HOT fuck buddies. Unfortunately, although they've tried to play it off, some had inadvertently caught feelings and made the interaction awkward at one point or another. Strangely, I still consider the fuck buddy situation one with the GREATEST benefits and LEAST possible disappointments. Go for it...good luck and keep us posted. ;)

UBERMOUTH said...

You're so cute Sarge, no one goes to the movies with their fuck buddy or let's their friends meet them.
You don't have to be compatible outside of the bedroom because you never see them outside of the bedroom.
That's a relationship! :)

mp1 v.8.0 said...

yeah homie, that sounds like a little more than a buddy to me. lol

Ms. Lovely said...

i had a fuck buddy once a he fell for me..This was during my 'wild' phase (whatever that is) It's fun while it last but I could never do it again..You see after I came to my senses I realized I had this thing called estrogen..It's almost impossible for me to separate sex & emotions anymore..which is why i'll just stick to not having sex (right now)

If you wanna do it..make sure you find a girl in her 'wild phase' lol. otherwise be prepared to have your property damanged and/or your life ruined lol

RunGirl. said...

Good Luck with your search bruh ...

@ Shavon - I had the exact same scenario. So I guess its two in a million. I wouldn't do it again though ...

"Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it in heaps. You try to give it back, He be like, 'Naw that's yours to keep'"
~Mos Def, Ms Fat Booty Part II

tommy said...

it is indeed nice to do the old hibbity dibbity with someone who is going to go back to their home later.

Eb the Celeb said...

OK rule #1... you dont go to the movies and what not with a cut buddy.

That is something you do with someone you are dating. Cut buddies you arent even seen out in public with them. Everything is done behind closed doors.

That's the whole point. You just give each other whats needed sexually and you dont even stay there to cuddle after.

This is when things get all complicated and someone starts catching feelings when you start chilling after.

So word to the wise... if you dont want a relationship, dont be coating with the cut buddy. That will only cause problems.

James Tubman said...

true dat (about they feel the same way)

but somebody always catches feelings

after a while it is going to happen

Prince Xem VanAdams-Lumumba said...

LMAO! I Love and Appreciate the HONESTY and BLUNT Sincerity in your Convictions.

Bro, as I have recently moved to the Los Angeles, California area, I MUST admit that I have also had the SAME urges. Ive NEVER been a Very Sexual being, BUT...Goddamn. Being 3000 Miles AWAY from My Comfort Zone in Baltimore, Maryland, I have begun to Lust and Long for Physical Intimacy.

Ive only recently arrived, so Ive hit up a few spots. Ive been SINGLE for the past 3 Years, and am UnSure, at this Point, if Im even capable of Falling 'In-Love', ever again. Im at the Point, in my life, where I only Want someone eho is going to be around in times of Convenience.

It Sounds a bit Selfish. HOWEVER, just like YOU, Ive grown Sick and Tired of Dudes and their BullShit. IF Im gonna HAVE to deal with it, Id rather NOT be bound to the individual. Im just AFRAID that One of us will CATCH feelings for the Other; UnXpectantly. UGH~

Hadassah said...

OMG as Flav would say WOW! the thing is women can never be fuck buddies we eventually get our emotions involved!

D-Place said...

Make sure the fuck buddy doesn't have any characteristic that is a little irratating to you. After awhile I'd pick up the phone for an "FA" fuckin appointment and then just hang up thinking about that characteristic. sigh. Get one but just be aware that that could happen.

cathouse teri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cathouse teri said...

Okay, let's try that comment again. :)

Does your overlong absence mean you found your fuck buddy?

Ms Smack said...

I met a friend that became a f/buddy off and on for 7 years. He's still around, but we don't screw cos he's in a r'ship.

The problem is that HE'S still sniffing around, and I am the one protecting his girlfriend, by saying no.

It's so complicated. We have had LOADS of fun but he can't let go.

F/buddies are great if boundaries are set in place, pre-nookie!

If he were single, SURE, but he's not so it's a NO GO ZONE!

Shazza Nakim said...

As someone who just got out of a relationship I can write a novel on the Theory of the Buddy with Benefits but I will respond in a Blog Posting Myself now that I am a free agent in the LOVE PALACE.

I tell you, in the past few days that my transition was made (reason why I haven't been around for a minute) I have entertained the new concept of the "friend's with benefits" but things and people have changed ... what I like has changed and what I would consider back in the day isn't out there now so there is a strong consideration to "wearing my Members Only jacket" exclusively.

http://thepoetshazza.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-to-end-relationship-on-positive.html

Mark D. Aster said...

Does your overlong absence mean you found your fuck buddy?

Long as his absence isn't a permanent one, like Diane Keaton at the end of "Looking For Mr. Goodbar." This thread made me remember that film, even though I probably haven't seen it since grammar school in the late 70s. Now THAT is the ultimate ANTI-fuck buddy movie!

JayBee said...

wow. i ain't mad. happy hunting, but in the process, it probably won't be a good idea to test drive a bunch of makes and models!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Why, yall make me said. I just finally got on and are able to read these great comments. So, I am a little naive, it seems, in the ways of a fuck buddy.
You can't take a fuck buddy to the movies? Wow, that sucks! Why can't you take a fuck buddy to the movies? That doesn't seem fair.

Actually, Mark, you were playing but we do have such a morality clause in our bi-laws, as officers, even though police are some of the biggest hoes on the face of the planet.

I know there is always the possiblity of catching feeling, but I'm not too worried about it. I got my heart on lock down. All I am saying is that it would be nice to have that one person to have sex with (just one) without the extra baggage that comes with a "real" relationship. You don't have to worry about getting your feelings all hurt when your fuck buddy fucks around. You feel me?

Mark D. Aster said...

My last word on it, bro, I say just do what feels right. You're a cop, so I think you can feel when the situation's going south (not in the below-the-belt sense, but in the directional sense). Look at this way: no feelings, guilt-free pussy. Feelings? Maybe you get that relationship you were looking for.

Five Billion People on the planet. Might as well dip your toes in somebody's water.

guerreiranigeriana said...

..bwahahahaha!!!...how's the hunt going?...

one soulful negro. said...

strangely i was telling my friend on the phone last night that if i can't have the person i want to be committed to, i am not looking for a relationship. i am very interested in no strings attached dating & fucking. i say let's have fun. right?

Tawsif Chowdhury said...

Oh.........i really like to sex with a fuck buddy.........I like your bog....

Trentent Silver said...


Very nice blog.I enjoyed it...............
Largest selection of memorials and printable funeral program templates.
www.funeralpamphlets.com