Friday, June 27, 2008

I Gotta Question

I gotta a question for you. If you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a good friend of yours’ spouse was having an affair, would you tell them? Better yet, would you want (expect) a person you considered a good friend to tell you if they knew that your spouse was cheating on them?
I had this talk once, with a male friend of mines and he told me implicitly that he would not want to even know if his spouse was having an affair. He thought nothing good would come of it. I was like, whatever. If I was in a relationship and you knew and I mean knew that my significant other was taking the dick else where, I would damn sho’ wanna know. And I would be pissed off if I found out and knew that your ass knew and didn’t at least give me the heads up.

This friend of mines, who will remain nameless (I probably shouldn’t have even specified sex) found out that, unbeknownst to him, that he was involved in open marriage. Ain’t that some shit? The funny part about it was that when he told me the news about this ongoing affair, I told him that I had heard a rumor that his spouse had been having an affair. I told him that I didn’t tell him because I had not proof, but mainly because he’d told me a long time ago that he wouldn’t want to know about such shenanigans. Do you know that his motherfucker pretty much called me a liar about having heard the rumors? I was pissed.

First of all, I don’t lie (not about serious shit). Second of all, why would I lie to you about something that would hurt you? What kind of friend do you think I am? And I know damn well that I am not that kind of friend.

Anyway, I now believe/know that a good friend of mine’s spouse is having an affair. Or at least I know he has being getting blow jobs and possibly having anal sex with at less one female that is not his wife. I can’t tell yall how I know this, but I might to another “I gotta question” post, sometime down the line, that might give you a clue as to how I know about these various sexual escapades. Anyway, the dilemma is to tell or not to tell? I really don’t know. It is a hard choice to make.


Yall know damn well why!

One, because I can’t really prove it. I could have but I let that opportunity slip by.

Two, because I hate when relationships/marriages break up. Even though I am not in one, I would like to see people stick it out and make the shit work. Just call me a hopeless romantic.

Three, because these things rarely work out well for the person who tells. They are always the ones who are turned again and resented, when all they are try to do is help. (Yall know it’s true.)

So there you have it. I am stuck. I have this secrete and I don’t know what to do with it. I can’t tell anyone, because you just never know who you can truly trust. I guess I could discuss it with Sgt. Lupe, but to be honest, she isn’t much help in these matters. She is more about helping start the drama then calming it down.

Speaking of Sgt. Lupe, last night her and I covered one of her troops in the park. He had this 27 year old man, stopped in the park with this 13 year old girl. (she told him she was 19) They hadn’t done anything. The girl, I guess, could have passed for 19 physically, but not mentally. The officer cuts the guy some tickets and we that the lying little hussy home (and yes, she was a hussy). She was dressed in short, short with an over sized t-shirt that made it look like she was wearing only a t-shirt and panties. She was bare foot and didn’t have on a bra. And trust me when I tell you that this little girl was well pass train bra status. Those puppies needed a whip and a chair.

Anyway, since she has lied about her name and her age more than one. She went from being 19, to 15 to 13 we needed to verify who she was. Of course, being a minor we were going to have to release her fast ass to an adult anyway. This little heifer doesn’t know, or claims not to know, anyone’s phone number, address, nothing. So, she takes us to where she is staying, with her aunt. In some apartments a few miles away from the park where she was found.
We follow her into the down stairs apartment (front door left unlocked), thinking that her aunt is going to be home. No such luck.

You know who was at home though? A two year old boy, sleep on the couch and a three year old girl sleep in the only bedroom. What the fuck? You know I was hot. I went off on that little girl so hard and fast. Do you know I went and cut myself a switch? Seriously. She is so damn lucky I couldn’t use it, but I told her that was what she needed and if she was just a teensy bit blood of mind, they’d have to pull me off her tail. I threatened to call child protective services on her and take all three of them down to there headquarters. She started crying, but I didn’t give a damn! How the hell you gonna get into a car with a grown ass man, and then leave two toddlers home alone, WITH THE DOOR UNLOCKED! Oh, I was hot.

She is so lucky Sgt. Lupe was there. They found another aunt to come pick them all up. And the little hussy didn’t even know the number to where her aunt, the kid’s mother, worked. We had to get that from an upstairs neighbor.

(Yeap, a CPS referral was still completed).

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

Two post in one. You can’t get much better than that, huh? LOL


Dreamy said...

hey you, Happy Friday.

i once had friend and her boyfriend was the biggest whore on our college campus. i had seen him hollering at girls and i even seen him kiss another girl. did i tell my freind?????? hell no because the hiefer knew what her man was up to and she liked it then i loved it.

like you say it doesnt end up well for the person who tells. trust when the time is right he or she will find out what the other spouse is doing.

and that hot azz girl, you should have took her azz somewhere and beat the hell out of her hot azz. now she know her dumb azz is wrong for leaving them babies in that house by themselves. some of these kids have no class these days

anywho honey, hope that you have a wonderful weekend.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

My friends know to tell me if they know my man is cheating. I will only say something to my friend if I had proof. I'm not going to a friend with just rumors.

Where are the parents of those kids? Jesus take the wheel! And why her azz don't know addresses or phone numbers? Yes CPS needs to be in their lives.

laughing808 said...

First post response:
In my opinion do as you would want done. If you'd want your friend to tell you, then you should tell your friend. Personally I'd want to know if my husband was stepping out on me.

Second post response:
I'm glad you followed through with filing that report with CPS.

RealHustla said...

One of my best girlfriends likes to call me to vent about her various issues, some of them about her man. Do you know if I talk about what an asshole he is or act negative in any way about her relationship she gets pissed? So I'm basically her garbage can. She keeps throwing her junk at me and I'm not expected to every give anything back. I hate her for it. I got my own shit to deal with, I don't burden you with mine. So I guess what I'm saying is, stay out of it. If he asks you about it just act like you didn't know.

I'm so glad you caught lil fast ass. You think she won't be right back at it next week? Maybe the CPS report will slow her down.

FREEDOM said...

I think you should tell him so that he could investigate the situation for himself. Ther is nothing worst then knowing that everybody knew but you. And that no one gave you a heads up. Even your so called boys. Tell him so that he won't look like a fool and go postal when the shyt really do hit the fan.

It's not all the girl fault dude should have known better too. He lucky he didn't go to jail with a record charged to him and having to explain his actions on a job application. Why is a 13 year-old left home alone with toddlers anyway? Our black children have to go thru so much. The lost of innocence at childhood is what is so distressing to me.

naijalines said...

"Those puppies needed a whip and a chair."
LMAO! *shakes head and waves right index finger* Bro...

Post A: I would definitely not tell. There's a Yoruba (Nigerian Proverb)that says: No one can know the secrets between husband and wife. The low down? If you don't want to be enemy number one, keep shtum. Sometimes being deaf and dumb is the best policy.

Post B: I'm so pleased you found out about the kids. That young h**fer needs to scorch her cha-cha with boiling water if she's so hot for it!!!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Dreamy, you are sweet, thank you.

Realhusla: You sure know you right. That is what my guy friend is like. All he wants is to vent and then not your input. Kind of sucks. Especially when he gets upset when I won't say anything. "What the hell do you want me to say, boy?"
But you gotta be there, right?

Freedom, I spoke to the guy too. I asked him what he was doing picking up girls at two oclock in the morning. I told him descent girls don't get into cars with complete strangers at two o'clock in the morning (at any time really), but then I thought about it. Homeboy was not looking for a descent girl. Er, duh....

Naijalines: And get this, when I asked her what she was doing out in the first place she said she had been cleaning the house and was taking out the trash.
I wish yall could have seen this apartment. That little skank was not cleaning shyt. And then, she still couldn't explain why she couldn't have waited until morning to take out the trash.
And then she tried to get me to believe this was her first time doing this. Like fun!

Madam Z said...

Don't tell her, man! In the first place, she probably already knows. In the second place, you're right about things not working out well for the one who tells.

As for the 13 year old, that whole story is just so sad! Where is HER mother?? And why isn't anyone saying anything about the 27 year ASSHOLE who was cozying up to this little girl? Everyone's callin the girl a whore. Why not call the man a CHILD MOLESTER, which he is? GRRRRRRR!!!!

D-Place said...

Stay out of it don't say nothing..especially since your friend already told you they didn't want to know. If he did then I sho as hell would tell. I did it 2 times got mad the other was greatful...the mad one got over it months later after seeing for themself.

It too me a min to get over it cuz his ass cussed me out and hung up on me. Actually took me a lonnnng time to get over it...still bothers me a little.

Mark D. Aster said...

C'mon, bro. You're a cop. You know about domestic situations and how f-d up people be when third parties get involved. One minute they're fighting each other over who's zooming who. You show up on the door step with a badge, then both of the mofos turn on YOU.

"Keep moving along, folks. Nothing to see here ..."

By the way, there is a difference between an open marriage, where both partners go in agreeing that they may have certain kinds of relationships with non-spouses; and adulterers, who are nothing more than hypocrites.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

yes to both
tell and would want to be told

Ms Smack said...

Yup, I'm with the rest of your readers. I'd tell him to tell her, or you will. He's going to find out eventually anyway that it was YOU that spilled the beans; you might as well be straight up with both of them.

Good job on the child protection notification. Poor kids; those kids are just bait for the perverts in the world.


I had a friend so addicted to the internet, that her ex boyfriend took away her daughter due to neglect. She didn't even fight to keep her daughter, just ran down the woman who was a good mother to her- to reduce the bond.

Amazing how some women treat their kids! I guess it takes no commitment or brain power to create them.

cathouse teri said...


Miss GypsyEyes said...

I'm going to be real, I have a friend who's boyfriend(now husband) is a shit, and I knew he'd been trying to get with one of her relatives (I was tight with the relative as well) and I called him out on it in front of her. Let me tell you what she did, she cried and yelled and cursed, and then married his sorry ass a few weeks later. This after finding out that he'd been cheating and another girl was pregnant with his kid- she'd(my friend) just had a baby with him, around the time I called him on his dirt. And she knew I wasn't lying, that's the sad part.
I don't care, if I catch someone slipping and actually have proof then I'm telling. Not because I'm vindictive but because these guys (and girls) who go out creeping are generally doing so with out protection and why would I let people I care about get some nasty little disease, when it could be prevented?

AS for MissHotInTheAss, it doesn't shock me yesterday I found out my 14 year old cousin is pregnant and I know she lies about her age. I also have a friend that went to prison and is now a registered sex offender over some little girl who had pulled the same scheme on another guy the year before.
I keep saying it, if these guys would actually TALK to these girls before they started taking off their clothes, they'd be able to see/hear/understand that these girls are underage.
As for leaving the babies out in the bed while out ho-ing around, methinks the guardian needs foot up her ass. She knows this girl is not responsible and so she needs to find some sort of supervision for the kids when she has to work, that same aunt that came to pick them up could be keeping them with her while the other aunt works.

Homer is My Co-pilot said...

I don't know man, if they were a really really close friend I might tell. just an average friend I'd go about my business. or maybe just talk to the spouse about it.

Ass for the lil girl, I would love to be watching COPS and see an officer go get a switch... lmao

Ieisha said...

On post #1...don't say a word. Unless that friend of yours walks up to you and point blank asks, "do you know if my wife is cheating on me?" Then answer the question. Otherwise, let it ride. Not your battle to fight.

On post #2...lucky she ain't no child of mine. What the hell? Her ass gonna get her throat slit messing around like that. And then to leave the kids in the house? For what? To catch an STD?! Cuz you know her fast ass wasn't carrying around no condoms. Damn shame.

Linda said...

damn well you should tell :P

First you confront the person that's having an affair and tell him (her?) that either he or you is going to tell.

Then if he stays quiet, you tell. Man, apart from a broken heart, she might be getting diseases from a person like that.

You'll probably loose your friendship, but ehmm.. honestly, who wants a friend like that? ;)

greetings from holland!

A.Smith said...

I struggle with the question myself and I think at the end of the day it seriously comes down to what type of person said friend is AND what sort of relationship you have.

The majority of people in my life don't warrant me taking the risk to let 'em know they're man/girl is cheating. Especially females, because females know... we always know; we may not want to admit to it, but we know.

Further, how often is it that we have real proof... and most people will only believe you if you can say something very much like "I know cause he/she slept with me last night..." which of course is all effed up in it's own right and hopefully that ain't how you got proof.

I've pretty much had this conversation with all my close friends and they all said they want me to tell them. I only really believe one of them and I still can't say for sure that I absolutely would tell... I mean it's just so messy to get caught up in that and I've had my share of messy situations...

blkbutterfly said...

i would only tell if the friend and i were close and had the understanding that we would tell each other such things. some ppl react too violently to that information.

not a switch! i can't blame you, though. she clearly needed it (and then some).

Eb the Celeb said...

Its a golden rule that men cant handle when a women cheats and would rather not know...

men just cant take it... especially if they been faithful... to fathom that their wife dipped out...

so I think in most cases men would not want to hear it from a friend and would have to see it for themselves..

I on the other hand would hands down want to know... tell me... but I know some woman that I wouldnt be able to tell because they would just make excuses for the man... or get an attitude with me for being the bearer of bad news and then would probably tell their husband that I was the one who told them they were cheating and still stay with the man so now things we be awkward between me and that person...

everyone cant take the truth... some people need to just find out on their own

JayBee said...

hot dang! don't volunteer the information, but be willing to share if asked. you have already articulated what will happen if you tell. the script has already been written; that part has already been played and unless you wanna deal with added drama, there's no need for you to reprise the role. good description of the scene at the apartment. i would have probably reacted similarly to you including getting the switch. sometimes i can be so animated (read: extra). (so yes, i'm not so subtly telling you that the switch thing was extra, but it's so me so i'm feelin' it.) did you ever get an explanation from an adult as to why those children were left unattended? i might have waited to hear that part of the story before the report was filed with cps.