ROAD TRIP, but not the good kind

I am so happy. My house is just like I want it…Clean. Now it might not be clean, clean to you neat freaks out there, but trust me when I say that it is One Man clean. My house has not been this clean since the Summer of 2004, when my friend from England came to stay with me. I am talking all my clothes are off the floor and folder or hung up. No dishes, dirty or clean are in the sink. No unused items in the icebox, toilet hand scrubbed to the point you could make Kool-aid in the bowl. Everything is done but the dusting, but fuck that. Whew, it was exhausting, but it was worth it. Hell, I started cleaning my house to get it this clean back on the first of January, this year. I finally made it.

Yeah, yall think I’m playing, but I am not. I do not have the clean gene. You know that gene that makes you detest the mess. My older sister has it. My aunt has it. I even think little Manny has it to a certain degree. But that bitch bypassed me. I live the life of Oscar Madison, of the Odd Couple. Literally. I keep a clutter mess of a house and of a car. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t rats and roaches messy, it is simply that I don’t know how to put shit away. When I walk in the door, my clothes are coming off and lay were they drop. Instead of throwing unwanted mail in the trash I drop it on the floor. When I do my laundry, instead of folding it right away, I leave it in an unorganized pile. Before too long it all just gets away from me.

Anyway, that is not what this post is about. Besides, it is clean now. It is clean and I am semi-ready for my road trip to Austin. Yeap, your boy is going on another car drive to another city in Texas, but this time it will be all grown ups and I will be sleep in the back seat. I am kind of ambivalent about the whole thing though. See, the purpose of this particular road trip is for me to be the photographer for a friend of minds’ sister’s wedding. My friend’s sister asked me if I would take the pictures for her wedding around this time last year. She thought I did such a good job with the pictures I’d taken for my friends wedding that she just had to have me. Whatever! I told her I would, a wedding gift from me to her. I know yall are thinking, “wow, that’s pretty generous of you, One Man.” Uh, no. All I do is take the picture, color correct and crop. It is up to them to get the damn things printed. Plus, if I fuck up these precious moments, I don’t want to hear shit, because you didn’t have to pay shit for my services. (LOL. Just kidding.)

The thing I am apprehensive about is the fact that the entire wedding party is going to be family. FAMILY, I said! I will be the only outsider in the group. Don’t get me wrong, I know these folks and they are cool and open and whatnot, but still. I will be odd man out. Plus, I will be sharing a room with my friend and her husband. LOL. What the hell! I’m not sure how cool I am with that arrangement, but I ain’t shelling out shit to stay at the Four Seasons either. So, I guess I’m going to have to make it work.

I’m thinking it is going to pretty much suck. I’m a home body, introvert and this family is party hearty extroverts. Those two things do not mix well for an extended period of time. I see them gathering around me singing, “Every party needs a pooper, that’s why we invited you.” LOL. Oh, and did I mention that the family is Hispanic. Yeap, so I can’t even attempt to blend in.

Anyway, so I will go into work tonight, get home a little before seven (God willing), take a quick sleepy time nap until they pick me up at eleven and we will be off to Austin. Either my little brother or sister (yall know they are twins, right) will be coming over to feed and water my Rottweiler for me. I don’t care with. I didn’t stock the cabinets, that way they take their asses home at the end of the day! Don’t hate! They both wanted the job so they can get away from my mom. We love her to death, but the woman can work a nerve. I’ve told her, but she don’t hear me though. I am still trying to decide what to do about finding a way to take her in, see if I can get me some of those grey hairs my boy MP1 was talking about in his blog. But that is a post for another day. Anyway, I will be back sometime Sunday. I need to make sure that I have taken off for Sunday night, because I’m banking on being one exhausted brother.

Pray for our safe journey there and back.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.