Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I Have A Question



I have a question. Or maybe it’s not a question but a statement, you be the judge.
Today Manny official turned three years old. Yes, today he official stops being able to get into Theme parks for free. Of course, even though we took his ass to Sea World and treated him like the king he is, I still had to go out and buy him a cool new toy and take it to him on this day of his birth. The problem with being three is that there is not major present for a three year old that you can buy. I can’t wait until he turns five years old and I can buy him that ultimate gift. That gift that will make his head explode and make all the other kiddies envious. What’s so funny about this is that I am the cheapest bastard in the world, but not when it comes to Manny. He could have the world if I had it to give to him. It frightens me to think that if I had it to spend that I would give Manny the type of party, at three, that those spoiled ass little brats on MTV’s Sweet 16, have.

--Blank stare-- (I stole this from Tam)

Anyway, I bought him a really cool race car, which runs on its own and plays music and other stuff. Besides animals and music, I know he loves vehicles, so this is why I decided on the truck. As I was driving the new toy over to him I got to thinking about an episode of the View that I saw not so long ago. The ladies were talking about children and how they are normally predisposed to playing with certain toys. Like boys will normally gravitated towards a truck or car and girls towards the dolls. Sherri Shepherd was telling the ladies how her son will pick up the doll, but only to slam it to the ground (which I’m sure what that says about the child). Whoopi made the statement that if Sherri’s son, Jeffrey, had pick up the doll to play with it he would not be allowed to do so anyway. Sherri agreed and politely explained how she would remove the doll for her son’s hands and give him the car to play with and explain to him how little boys do not play with dolls.

This is also the lady who would not read to her son the children’s story about the two male penguins who were raising a baby penguin together. And Tango Makes Three is the name of the book which was also feature on the View because it was being banned. The ladies kind of danced around the topic, but we all know that the reason behind the band was because they felt that the book was promoting homosexuality, even though it was based on a true story. During this topic Sherri let it be known, without a doubt, that she would not ever read, nor ever allow her child to read such a book. I think Sherri’s son is like three years old, but she wants the world to know that he is very much the man.

How very queer.

I personally believe that children gravitate towards whatever toy appears to be the most fun. Now it is very much true that boys will most likely be more inclined to go for a toy truck or an action figure, without any coaching from the audience, but it also true that a boy child, who likes stuffs animals, and sees a pink and a blue stuffed rabbit, he is not going to decide which one he prefers to play with based on the color scheme. It is we as adults who put that very closed minded take on blue is for boys and pink is for girls. I bring this up because when Manny was a little over a year old I won this big stuffed rabbit, that just happened to be pink. It was around Easter time and I wanted to give it to Manny along with his Easter basket. I knew Manny would love it because he loved animals, but I would not be able to give it to him because it was pink and pink is for girls. How asinine is that? But I live in a world of closed minded individuals who believe these small things determine if a boy will grow up to be a punk or not. I ended up giving the rabbit to my mom, but I am sure Manny probably played with it at some point or another.
I contend that punkism is not based on the kind of toy your child choices to play with, nor the color of the teddy bear or rabbit that sits in his or her cradle. It is something that will just be; an innate trait that we have no control over. The reality is, “sometimes they are just born that way”. And you can’t determine a person’s sex preference by making them play with cars or dolls or playing sports or being an artist. It just is.
So, here is my question.

Those of you who have sons, because this double standard doesn’t apply to girls. Girls can play with cars if they want. They can play with tools if they want. They can pretty much do what they damn will please, without being judged. However, if you have or had a son, and you were at the store and he wanted you to buy him a doll, would you? Please explain your answer. I have to say that I am undecided. I probably would not buy my male child a doll, because of the stigma attached to it, but I would buy him a pink rabbit, if that was the one he wanted.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

57 comments:

Eros said...

Correct, however, a triple standard applies to little girls...

Ieisha said...

On you not giving the pink rabbit to your nephew b/c of the closed-minds of others, a piece of advice: Don't become a product of your enviroment. Allow your environment to become a product of you.

I have a 2 year old little boy and I think I got the one that was wired from birth to be a man's man. He totally loves sports. Hockey, golf, basketball, football, baseball. All of it. He likes cars and motorcycles. He also likes Dora (but I think it's cuz of the monkey, Boots) and he likes Elmo and Wonder Pets. He likes Alvin & the Chipmunks. I gave him my original stuffed Alvin doll from when I was 4.

I say all that to say that if he wants the doll, I'd probably get it for him. I want him to be a multi-faceted human being who is able to tolerate people not like him. And to do so, I've got to practice what I preach. And him playing with a doll does nothing more than make him smarter, more creative and sharpens his outlook on the world.

So yeah, if he wants it, I'll buy it.

One Man’s Opinion said...

See, that's why I love you< ieisha. Just by the by, I did not give him the stuffed bunny because although I think my sister would have let him play with it, I don't think his other uncle by marriage would. Why make waves?

Linda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Barleycorn said...

Wow, sure am glad Linda stopped by to flagrantly whip around her homophobia and try to pass it off as an innocent observation with emoticon winks.

God fucking forbid a child do something Linda's Utopian Aryan society disapproves of. God forbid a child realize he's a homosexual and exude effeminate qualities. This, apparently, makes him less of a person, as he, in Linda's opinion, is a story with an ending that had "gone wrong."

I hope your son turns out to be a huge flamer, Linda, so you can sit around drinking cheap beer and chain-smoking, wondering where you could've gone wrong in life to be cursed with such a sorry example of a human being. Meanwhile, your son will never speak to you again, because as he grows older, he'll realize the unfair, negative, bigoted and purely fucking ignorant standards you've adopted from your close-minded backwoods relatives and, living in a more progressive, intelligent society, will realize his mother should've been born in the twenties and died in the fifties.

I also enjoy the delicious irony of our author writing about open-mindedness and tolerance only to have moronic commenters like Linda shuffle in from the fast food Americana buffet and spoil shit.

Stay in fucking Holland.

dejanae said...

awww
he's a cutie

dolls
action figures
all the same crap
i dont care

Anonymous said...

My son had a few dolls, a play kitchen, pink & yellow underwear, a million stuffed animals of every color and liked to walk around with a silky (we cut up a silk scarf to stop him from taking my underwear out of the drawer).

He also loved trains, trucks and any sport around.

12 years later, the boy is not a punk, not a homosexual, but does have a pink polo button down he loves.

No worries one man, if your nephew is going to be a one man jr, a pink rabbit won't stop it.

Anonymous said...

oh and for the record - if my son had been homosexual - that would have been ok too.

Unlike some (er one) of the others that left a comment... I don't see being homosexual as a curse.

Kids are going to be who they are sexually. There isn't ANYTHING you can do one way or the other to change that. Nor should you try.

For the ones who think they can.. good luck with that.

Black Mamba said...

Whats the difference between a pink rabbit and a doll...seems like it's kinda the same thing...??

I have a son on the way...if he really wants a doll, he can have a doll. I don't really care, but then again, I know it's not a reflection of his sexuality and a lot of that crap is learned by the stigma adults place on the kids.

Also, I really wouldn't have a problem if my son came to me one day and told me he was gay. If he's gay, he's gay; I would just be happy to have him talk and confide in me.

In re: to Linda's comment...my brother dressed up in our clothes, let us put make-up on and pranced around the house...HOWEVER, he is far from gay. Quite the opposite, very male and going into politics. It's not what you wear or what you play with...it's how you're wired from birth. Some people are simply born gay and making them play with male toys isn't going to change that. There is nothing WRONG about that.

@ Linda: What the author of this post was referring to (I believe) as far as the double standards is that it is ok for girls to play with girl toys AND boy toys (as you can see from your comment about playing with the Ninja Turtles, which would be considered a boy toy; ie: you being a girl playing with them would fall under the double standard) - however, the boy can only play with boy toys and not girl toys. That's what I understood One Man's comment on the double standard to be.

By the by, not ALL fashion designers talk in high pitched voices and not all of them are one "type." Open your mind a little bit and drop the homophobia, you may actually find that the world is a better place. Frankly, you being in Holland, I'm a little surprised by your closed mind on the subject considering you guys have pretty lenient drug laws and the freaking red light district...sheesh.

Rodney said...

My baby boy gets the doll. He may not play with it for long, but having it will open his mind to lots of different things, anatomy to name just one. And, to take it a step further, I will play with the doll too. Taking it to the playground may pose an issue, but I would find a way if that needs to happen. Children must be encouraged to explore the world and given the freedom to do so.

Rodney said...

Oh yeah... stop using the work punk in that context. You sound like Linda.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Rodney, when I use the word Punkatude, or whatever I said, I did not mean it in a deragatory manner. Just like when I call people bastards I do not say it to be deragatory. Although, I can see how it comes across as such.

Anonymous, trust me when I say I have no fears about Manny, one way or another. I love him unconditionally. I have a greater fear of him becoming some kind of disrespect, thug ass, pimp then I do of him being homosexual. I would have less respect for him if he became a thug, but I would love him all the same. He is who he is. Gay or straight, he will be very much the man. Trust me on that on. I don't believe it is how you sleep with or what you play with that makes you a man. It is how you carry yourself. Hell, I have a few porcelain dolls (collectors items), keep every stuffed animal ever given to me, and have a Dora doll, that was given to me about four years ago, as a joke. It is displayed proudly in my house, and every now and again I press her foot and dance with her as she sangs, "We did it! We did it!" Does that make me a punk?
Well, actually it sort of does, but I'm the manliest punk you'll ever meet!
A friend of mind, in England, called me today. He is working on his Masters in Music and he is doing a study on music and human sexuality. It is very intriging. I might try tackling that subject in a post.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

As you know, I have a 3 year old son. As Leisha, my boy was wired to be a man's man. I get a lot of comments from people who have come in contact with him say "he's all boy" or "you gonna have your hands full because he's truly a boy". He already loves watching football and basketball, fighting over little girls. Cars are his favorite toys. If he ever comes to me and say I'm gay, know what I will do. Hug him, tell him its alright to be himself, as long as he is happy I'm happy and tell him I love him and always will. Like you One Man, I would lose respect if he turned into felon or a thug because I'm not raising him to not be gay. I'm raising him not to follow in the steps of a lot of young black males, a thug. (I watch too much news and The First 48 Hours) I would have gave him the pink rabbit. He has a shelf full of stuffed animals. Would I buy him a Barbie? No. I would let him play with one if it was just laying around and he picked it up. Once we were over visting someone with 3 little girls. He picked up a doll. A woman who I really respected told me I should spank him for picking up the doll. Earlier that day she told me I was making him soft because I mentioned he had a toy vacuum and loves to act like he's vacuuming. Da fck! I think the double standard has a lot to do with the sexual aspect when it comes to men. I'm going to be real. If I had to choose between having a gay son or a gay daughter, I would choose a gay daughter. Bout to get real again. I do tell him things like "purses are for girls". I still haven't come to accept 'man' purses. Lol But I'm not going to tell him not to play with a toy just because it's considered a girl toy. It's a damn toy!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Purses are for girls, damn it! LOL. Let's just be real. Even I don't do the purse thing.
I actually know a kid who ran away from home because he was gay and wanted to be a drag queen and did not think his family would approve. I did not know this at the time, it just so happened that I ran across him, while answering a call. He was in full drag so of course I did not know who he was, but he knew me right off. (this has nothing to do with my posting about double standards).
I can't believe that a woman told you to spank your child for picking up a doll to play with. Kids like to play. And what is wrong with vacuuming? That is new. I remember when i was a teenage I wanted my mom to teach me how to cook. Do you know my mom, who I think is one of the most open minded people in the world, told me that she wouldn't teach me to cook because it was woman's work. What the hell. This is why I can't fry chicken today. Damn it, mom!

DreamCop08 said...

okay i am gonna keep it real also.

would i let my child play with the doll- yes i would.

on the other hand would i want my child to be gay. no i wouldnt and here the reason why i say so. i dont want my child to have to grow up and deal with what society dishes out to gay people. i see what they go through. they have a hard life and i know people who are gay but pretend to be straight just because of how society would feel. Lord know i dont want my child to endure that.

now if my child was to come to me and tell me that he or she was gay, then I would accept them with open arms. I would love my kid no matter what because that is the type of human being that I am.

so to answer your question, I would let my child play with the doll/ for crying out loud they are kids. let kids be kids

im not sorry if my comment offends other commenters. just stating how i feel and all i know how to be is real. now thats just my opinion

That Girl Tam said...

Ok...as a mother of THREE boys (14, 8 and soon-to-be 4), I've noticed that they all have very different and distinct personalities.

((oh yeah...LOVE the ::blank stare:: you barrowed from me))

Anyhoo...all of my boys LOVE girls, but at some time or another, they walked around the house in my shoes (my heels in particular), carried my purse and pretended to be me. My 8 year old is constantly telling me that I'm sexy and will GUSH about a pretty girl in a heartbeat. My brother got him old a Teletubby for his first Xmas that was then passed down to my 4 year old. I think they only liked it because it talked. My kids LOVE stuffed animals - although I have NO idea why and they're every.fuckin.where. We had so many crowding the rooms that I packed them all up in big black trashbags (plural) and told them that we were saving them for the baby (their sister will be here in 3 months).

Come to think of it...I think I have pictures of my 8 year old at his 3rd bday party playing tea party with one of his friends. BIG DEAL...it's make believe and the use of imagination is a GOOD thing.

I agree that children will gravitate towards any toy that THEY think looks like fun. My kids can turn damn near ANYTHING into something fun. And at what point is a VERY large action figure NOT considered a doll? We've got a few of those too...

I'm hella liberal and if my children chose to live a homosexual lifestyle as adults, more power to'em. My only fear would be safety issues arising from hateful people in the world, second to something like AIDS and HIV.

With us having a daughter and 3 sons, I'm almost SURE this kid will be playing soldier, "guns" as they like to call it and race cars like the others do. Children will be children.

Btw, someone gave my son a huge stuffed bunny for Easter one year...but it's blue...it's still a bunny (hella girlie in my opinion) and he loved it.

Curious said...

Since no else will, let me defend Linda's comments. She is a born again and ...no f**k that. Contrary to popular belief, the color pink or blue or chartreuse or a lovely shade of green will not determine a child's sexual orientation when they grow up. Nor will dolls, cars or mothers silk purse make you gay or straight.

Homosexuality, is the attraction of a person to another of the same sex and all the rest of that peripheral nonsense is just that, nonsense.

I don't know if Rosie Greer is still alive, but no one ever doubted his sexuality or even his masculinity and he used to knit for fun or relief. There are many other athletes who never played with dolls or wore pink and are as tough and as strong as anyone you would ever want to meet but they are as queer as a $3 bill.

In short. children play with things because it helps them learn social skills and ownership responsibilities and maybe a few other things, but sexuality is not one of them.

Oh and BTW @ Rodney, I don't know what kind of doll you had when you were younger but it might need investigation by Family Services. When I stripped down my GI Joe when I was young he had no ding-a-ling. Anatomy was not one of the things they were trying to teach me. LOL - my little joke.

Linda said...

Hey John.. aren't you taking this a little too far? "Utopian Aryan society" Now I'm in the KKK? I married a black man. Heck, I don't even see white people except for my parents and the people in the grocery store.. Isn't it a little too easy to bring in my colour? Now, if I did that to you in any context, I'd be called a racist.. Of course it's much different now! ;)

So.. clearly you don't know me. Because first I don't have a son.. someone else's has to do the whole beer drinking thing..

and secondly.. my best male friend is gay. Will you still call me a homophobe? I'm just saying that if you're a man who likes men.. ok. Fine. Who cares. I just personally can't stand the whole 'drama queen act'.. You know.. wearing pink, carrying purses, saying 'girlfrienddd!' at the end of every sentence. I thought it was a politically correct think to call such a person a 'fashion designer'.. It's a synonym we use in Holland anyway.

But really.. if you just want to cuss me out, go ahead. Just don't go assuming things about me that might not be true..

And yes, although I'm not a homophobe.. and I will treat a gay person just like any other person.. I do believe that homosexuality is wrong, based on what I read in God's word. So no, I wouldn't want my children to go in that direction. Hate me for it.

However, one thing that's far worse than being gay is christian people who hate gay people. I agree with you on that. My stomach turns when I see that malboro baptist church with their crazy signs.. Not all christians are like that.

Some of them act like homosexuality is the biggest sin in the book, it's just one of the many.. Yet, I don't see people treating the others the same way. You know what I mean.. if two persons live together, unmarried, that's ok.. but gay people are different. If someone has told a white lie, he can still be your friend.. but not when he's gay.

So, in short..

gay people.. don't approve, but it's their choice. Just like any other thing in life. I'd befriend them.. just not the drama queens (drama queen is politically correct, yes?).

And me wearing white robes and burning crosses? Nahh.. ;)

I deleted the other comment.. don't want to be a trouble causer on someone else's site.. so.. peace!

greetings from holland! :P

Linda said...

p.s. I don't smoke and I don't drink beer.. and this may surprise you:

I don't listen to country music, I don't know anyone with a pick-up truck and no-one in my family is in love with a sheep.

But I see you're just mad at the world huh.. so ok.. go ahead and play the victim, I'll be your 'bad guy' today :)

Mark D. Aster said...

Curious, G.I. Joe was not a "doll," he was an "action figure." *cough*cough*

(LOL) That disparity in language used to amuse me even as a kid. I had Joes, superhero figures, Evil Kneviel, even an "Alamo Playset" (who the hell makes "playsets" out of specific historic events?!?!?). Let's face it, they were DOLLS. You can give a boy anything to play with, if you just name it right.

You could give them polychromatically effulgent skirts to put on, as long as you call them "playground action kilts."

And speaking of kilts, I think the Scots were on to something. After all, because of our genitalia, it makes more sense for men than women to wear clothing that is open-ended and let's our "boys" hang free. And when was the last time you saw a Scotsman, particularly Sean Connery, on TV in a fight? You don't, because even the most homophobic American Redneck knows he'll get his azz beat down if he talks bad about Traditional Scottish Menswear. The world fears Bin Laden, even though he usually sports a military jacket with an Islamic Wedding Dress (now, THERE'S a wardrobe malfunction!).

African Brothers, Jesus, the Romans, the Arabs, Catholic Monks, and Ghengis Khan called them "tunics," by the way.

It's all in the marketing!!

John Barleycorn said...

Awesome. I love how this turned out.

I believe the sentiment for homosexuals here is pretty universal, which makes me happy. Sure, there are aspects to homosexuality I disagree with, personally, but in no way is that a reflection upon homosexuals in general. So in reference to my personal post about my disagreements with gay culture, well, let's backtrack and emphasize the word "personal."

However, when one says, "God thinks homosexuality is wrong," that's not a personal statement, it's an attempt to deliver a universal statement, under the guise of some deity. And for someone to then say, "But my best friend is gay!" and "But I married a black man!" is for that someone to make pathetic attempts at covering their own hateful ignorance.

Is it okay that you hate homosexuals and feel they are living in sin if you know one of them? Do you pray for that poor bastard's wretched soul after going purse shopping with him? Do you still drop the word "faggot" and cover it with a, "But I know one, so it's okay!"

Small semantic notes: Aryan doesn't necessarily mean KKK. In fact, it has little to do with the KKK.

Dreamcop08: Sure, living as a gay male is difficult at times, especially when confronted with blind stupidity. But I can't imagine growing up gay is any different than growing up with three toes, with black skin, Hispanic, a woman, etc. All people face prejudice; it's about how you deal with it, not why shitheads target you.

Anyway, there's no sense in arguing with a born-again.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Tam, bunnies are not girlie, damn it! Now bunnies in dresses, maybe, but otherwise bunnies are hella men. My Mr. Bunny Cop is gonna be so mad at you.

Black Mamba said...

Can someone please point to a specific section in the bible where it says God hates gay people? I'd like to know which book, year printed, page number and verse please.

Last I checked, God loves everyone...

As for it being hard to be gay...maybe in some states, but it sure doesn't seem to be hard for gays in California. I've got a couple friends who are living the dream over here...the only real fight seems to be marriage. That aside, they're treated the same as the next...and their sexual preference isn't a big deal to anyone.

Linda said...

God loves gay people.
I love gay people.

Do I have to approve of what they do as well? No I don't, and God doesn't. (Black Mamba.. God has never said he hates gay people, only that homosexuality is a sin)

You're being too easy here. Hating gay people is something VERY different than not approving homosexuality.

I can have friends or loved ones that are muslim.. I love them, I hang out with them, I respect them. But I don't approve of Islam, because I believe Jesus is the only way.

Do you approve of everything your friends do? Do you have to approve of everything they do in order to become friends? I surely hope not.

There are friends of mine who think it's a wrong decision of mine to become a christian. Fine. I'm not going to call them christophobes and cuss them out. It's their choice..

Being a christian is what I chose to be, and it's ok if there are people that don't approve. As long as they treat me normal and respect me for the person that I am.

And that's how I am with gay people. I wouldn't choose their ways, and I wouldn't want my kids to choose their ways (but I won't stone em if they did either) - but I do respect them as a person, because I'm not so ignorant to think that a person is only his sexuality.

You're just blaming me for everybody's sins here. You're blaming me for every christian that hates gay people. Hey, I have nothing to do with those..

And also, my dislike of the 'drama queens' was a personal thing.. I never said God hates drama queens.. you put those words into my mouth.. but you seem to put a lot of words into my mouth, that I never even said..

as for the semantic note.. I know that aryan does not equal KKK, you dumbass.. but 'Utopian Aryan society' does.. You know nothing of the world man.. you think there are aryan people living here? Whoahaha..

So.. I'd like to leave it here.. like I said, I don't want to cause no trouble on someone else's site..

peace to yall.. and greetings from holland! ;)

DreamCop08 said...

Im just gonna say this because I feel like its just wrong. One Man wrote this post for us to leave our opinions on this matter.

He did not leave this post comment section for Linda to be bashed and left with harsh words. She simply stated how she felt on the subject. It seems to me that some people took it to a whole other level.

Like for real that was wrong. So I am gonna stick up Linda despite the fact that she stood up for herself. She left her opinion, as I did mines, and thats the way it should have been. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Like we are too grown for this.

Peace,
DreamCop08

cathouse teri said...

I love what Ieisha said:

"Don't become a product of your enviroment. Allow your environment to become a product of you."

I raised two boys and a girl. They are very comfortable in their own skins. (What a strange saying. Kinda gave me the creeps when I just typed it.)

ANYWAY, my oldest boy loved My Little Pony. He had the entire collection. Well, no one had the ENTIRE collection, but he had a lot! He also had the entire set of VOLTRON robots. He loved Transformers and X-Men and He-Man. But also loved to watch Rainbow Brite. My youngest son played with whatever he wanted. I remember my daughter had a little doll that you could carry in a soft little quilted holder. He would carry that doll around. Then after awhile, I'd see him with the little bed turned over on his head. I asked, "What you got on your head, honey?" And he'd say, "It's my hat!"

Seriously, forfucksake (that's my word of the day) ~ It's all ridiculous. You cannot get a leopard to change his spots. No matter what you let him play with.

None of my children turned out to have been gay. But they are all very open to the differences of others.

One Man’s Opinion said...

I hate it when we fight; that is not the reason why I post. I just thought it was an interesting observation and wanted to speak on it. I never thought it would become a hot button topic. People have the right to their opinions. I wish everyone would be nice, but I know that is not reality.

cathouse teri said...

It disturbs me when someone uses the bible to back up their argument. Saying "God doesn't like such and such a sin." Well listen, baby doll, I know the bible well. And there is nothing in it about traipsing around telling everyone which sins God hates. There are so many sins listed in the bible that you would be hard pressed to find yourself living anywhere near sinless. Even the way in which "churches" are run are very well reprimanded in scripture. But do you participate in such organizations? I can't even begin to number the things that "general christianity" does that are contrary to what the bible says.

But the message of the bible is not sin. If that were the case, we would still be sitting at the foot of Mt. Sinai, awaiting more lists of what not to do.

The message of the bible is life. Any other focus is going to lead you astray.

Joshua said...

Here's another take on this issue. As a kid, I played with all the boy things but also liked girl things, especially My Little Pony, with which I was completely obsessed. My parents had no problem buying me these things, and I certainly never found it odd or even humorous.

When I came out to my father, he told me he knew that "since [I] was four" (probably the tea parties where we gossiped about my imaginary friends.) Later on my older brother, who is not gay, told me that once he asked my dad if he could have a My Little Pony, and my father told him he wasn't allowed to have one.

I have no idea WHY my dad did that, it seems distinctly out of character for him, but nonetheless he did.

So, apparently, I was allowed the ponies because I was already a lost cause . . .

VertigoVirgo said...

when my little brother was 3 he would run around the house wearing my mother heels...???...

anyway, today I can't even mention to him to go get a manicure because manicures are for girls, as well as opened toed sandals. My trainer Nairs all the hair off his body, and yet I C.R.U.S.H...I think it is about the boy/man in general and what they enjoy and what makes them feel most comfortable...but I also beleive that you should "Biblically" raise and child in the way that he should go. I don't know...*sigh* I don't even have children, and each time I get on here I feel like I'm talkin' to myself.

N-E-WAY...Caio'

Curious said...

One Man, your kidding right? This is just a Rodney King act right? You know a subject like this will bring out prople fighting. Laws have been written, court cases have been fought, elections have been won and lost because of this subject. You should expect to see a little blood here that's what makes it interesting.

So drop the "can't we all get along?" thing and say something else controversial so we can see who is who.

Miss GypsyEyes said...

I've been working with children in some aspect for most of my life, I come from a family of educators, so it goes without saying that when my mom needed help in classroom and I didn't have anything else going on, I was in classroom. Later on, I worked as a teacher assistant in a class of children with autism, and for various reasons I left there everyday wanting to knock the hell out of some of the parents. There was an instance where I was ready to beat the hell out of this dumbass broad. The child was obviously a crack baby, he was non verbal, not potty trained, and he generally showed up to school in the morning wearing the pull-up I put on him before I took him to catch the bus home the previous day, which means he was unwashed and smelled horrible EVERY day. The child was severly low functioning but he liked to stroke the hair on a doll, and he was happiest when he was holding it rubbing her hair. The dumb bitch Mom, was all "I don't want him playing with dolls" etc etc. I remind you that he was basically belted(chair with a seatbelt) into a chair all day because he was an escape artist and would run out and keep going into the street. So, if he wasn't crying, and screaming, and fighting, and he was content to sit in his chair (without the seat belt) holding the doll what the hell? You don't bother to make sure his shoes are on the right feet, you don't bathe him, you don't change his diaper, and you didn't have the sense to lay off the CRACK while you were carrying him but he can't play with a toy that makes him happy because you're scared he'll be gay? Honestly, I'd be happy if later on he had the cognition to know the difference between gay and straight because the fact of the matter is the child at age 7, cannot scribble on a piece of paper with a crayon.

Giving a boy a doll will not make him any gayer than teaching him to wash dishes. I have a cousin who is a lesbian and it was evident, pretty early on; the odd part is the same things that led everyone to believe she might be gay were just phases that I flew through and got over. I went through a tomboy phase, all of my friends were male and I used to fight the boys in the hood, to make them let me play ball with them, my mother had to force me into girl clothes and shoes; so admittedly it could've just been a phase but there was something different about hers. She had dolls, but she prefered to leave that to her older sister, she ran with the boys, dressed like the boys, and that's just how it was. All of the proper girly things she was exposed to and she is still gay. That should say something. My daughter has been a girlie girl from day one, but I let her play with whatever she damned well pleased that wasn't dangerous, the only thing she never played with were toy guns (not even water guns) but is something I think children can do without in the world we live in. I actually had to go out and buy her the little green soldiers (I took out the ones with the guns) and she loved them. So, let them have their toys; children learn in kindergarten how to play and if you go into a kindergarten classroom you'll see boys in the kitchen area playing with the girls and some girls rolling cars and trucks along on the floor making car noises with the boys. Toys don't make you gay. And as for Sherri Shephard I think she's a dumbass. People can say whatever the hell they want to about God and homosexuality, but it(homosexuality) exists in every living breathing species on this planet, from penguins to flamingos, to dogs and cats etc. If God created all these things and us then HE is the one who created homosexuality. As much as people would like to tell themselves it's a personal choice, it's just not. All the dolls and wigs in the world is not going to "turn" a child one way or the other. People need to stop being stupid and accept that life is what it is and that it's too short to spend trying to prevent or control something that's been out of your hands from the beginning of time.... *steps off soapbox*

Gotta Let it Out said...

You should have given him the bunny.... he's too damn cute...give him whatever he wants.

Curious said...

Oh and Mark, was it Shakespeare who said something about a rose would still smell as sweet if it was called something else?

Well I like to have my bad boys tied up and strapped down, unless I'm going for a certain affect, so to me a skirt with no draws is still a skirt with no draws whether others call it a kilt or not.

Linda said...

Cathouse Teri..

I agree with you 100%.... We're on the same level here.

Everyone is a sinner, that's what I'm saying. And therefor I hate christians that hate a specific group of people..

He's gay, She's done this, you've done that, I've done such-and-such.. We're all the same.

That's why I respect all people.. nobody's better than another.. everyone has their thing.. If they hadn't, Jesus didn't have to come and die and all that nasty stuff..

But people like putting words into my mouth.. they like to say 'homophobe'.. they like to think that I hate them.. I don't know why?

I'm just saying.. I don't approve of it. I don't hate you for it, I just wouldn't go that path myself..

I can't choose for anybody else.. just for myself. And I wouldn't be a good parent if I didn't try to install some values in my kids, right? These are my values, I'd like to pass them on.. and THEREFOR no doll for a boy.

cathouse teri said...

What I'm saying, Linda, is that it's not the christian's job to go around approving or disapproving of things. That's all. The old hate the sin but not the sinner rule is nothing like biblical. Unless you are a Pharisee. You've likely been straining at a gnat and wound up swallowing a camel. I can tell you try not to follow the crowd, christian or otherwise, but there are is a lot of bullshit being fed to people in the name of God. Nothing new. Just try sitting down and really evaluating what you are saying and thinking in response to what you have been embracing. I mean if you are going to go with what the bible says about "wrong" behavior, try following the instruction it gives to stone your rebellious teenagers.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Damn, I guess I should have called this post, Give A Boy A Doll.

Curious, I can be Rodney King if I wanna be. And I wanna be!

Okay, to all of you would would give you boy a doll, what kind of doll would it be. I was going to start collecting the brat dolls, but only because they were black and I like things that represent black folks in my house, but I decided against it. LOL
vv, why do you feel like you are talking to yourself?

Mark D. Aster said...

Well I like to have my bad boys tied up and strapped down,

T.M.I.!!!!

(LOL)

Anonymous said...

My son had a generic brown baby, and my Cabbage Patch dolls from when I was a kid, one brown, one tan.

Plus any other of my dolls he found and played with randomly.

Linda said...

Bloody hell, people..

I just said I wouldn't want my son to play with a doll, that I think it might interfere with his normal, boyish behaviour, because that's what I've seen in a friend. -- I didn't like the outcome of that, and I would help my kids not to go the same path. (I didn't say nothing about nobody elses kids, did I?)

And for that I get a can of 'you're a prejudice hating kkk-christian' over myself. Get a grip on yourself, people..

The author asked this question and there were two answers. Maybe you could have told me from the beginning I was only allowed to pick one.... And you come 'round talking about prejudice and hating?

grow up y'all.... :P

.... Still, you can see it's a good post. Because if it wasn't, people wouldn't take so much effort in getting all steamed up about it ;)

Greetings from holland!

Ms Smack said...

God bless the child that looks at a toy and does not see colour, gender, race, sexuality and more.

God bless the child that chooses his friends and does not see colour, gender, race, sexuality and more.

Life will hit him hard when he's older. Let him be an innocent kid.

If a woman removes everything female from his life, I wonder if he'll grow up to not accept females and choose men?

Your nephew is still a cutie.

DreamCop08 said...

Linda sweetie dont yourself all upset over this. You know your character. It doesnt matter what some of these ignorant folk may think.

You have a right to state how you feel, you were asked a question and you answered it. You were slaughtered because you chose to go against how the majority felt.

This a very touchy subject with people. Some people are gonna take offense, now to be rude is one thing though.

But its okay Linda. I think you handled yourself well. And I understood where you were coming from. I know you are not racist and a homophobe.

Peace and Love

Ieisha said...

What the hell did you start, One Man??? Shit, you'd think this was WWIII. Here's the wonderful thing about opinions: they're like ass holes, everybody has one!

People, chill. I hope you all are this passionate and get your voice heard when it's time to VOTE!!!!!!!

Kudos, One Man for sparking the fire in the blog world ;-)

cathouse teri said...

Hey, this is what it's all about! We get to say what we think and hopefully it will be fun!

Linda makes a good point when she says, "The author asked this question and there were two answers. Maybe you could have told me from the beginning I was only allowed to pick one...."

I think everyone should feel free to voice their opinions. As long as they are their own. My comments to Linda were along the lines of making a stand, based on what you feel. If you say, "I feel creeped out hanging around drag queens" that's one thing. But to say, "I don't hang around drag queens because someone else doesn't like it" falls into the category of the old teen drama of hating things your friend hates. Now, when this friend is God, and you are supposing to represent him and what he likes and dislikes, that's when I get fired up.

It's much more admirable just to own your own opinions.

But as Dreamcop stated, I don't think Linda should be made to feel she is not welcome.

Curious said...

Wow, this is that the topic that won't die. i thought I wouldn't say any more on it but... Teri and Dreamcop are both right. Everyone has a right to an opinion and they should be free to express it. That's why this whole blog thing exists. But when someone goes out of their way to go off topic and express there approval or disapporval of a certain group of people when the question was simply to play with dolls or not play with dolls, deserves all that can be written about them. When someone decides to make a judgement call on someone else when no judgement was asked for, that's insulting and that person should expect whatever response they get.

Greetings from Jersey

Eb the Celeb said...

What you talking about... I spent so much on my nephews and they only turned 1 this year... scares the ish outta me on how broke I'm gonna be when I get my own...

I'm not with the buying toys thing though... i'm all about the clothes and shoes

so go on and give manny that super sweet three party...lol

cathouse teri said...

I just wanna wander back to topic. The idea behind not going all out in giving things to little ones is that you really have no way to top it as they get older. Certainly gifts should be age appropriate. And a toddler getting an all out party like you would give a sixteen-year-old is just not helpful in the long run of his development. Again, just my opinion. ;)

One Man’s Opinion said...

I just wanted to get Manny a Cabbage Patch kid for Christmas. Who knew?

Linda is strong. I know she will be back.

DreamCop08 said...

I sure hope so One Man, cause I respect any person that doesnt mind keeping it real. And Linda is that chick.

And Ieisha I will definitely be at the voting polls casting my vote.

DreamCop08 said...

and One Man, those cabbage patch dolls are played out and ugly azz hell. I didnt realize how ugly they were until I got older. So dont give lil man no cabbage patch doll, find some other doll please,Jeeezzz

Linda said...

*lol* Thank you, sensible bunch of the crowd ;)

btw.. do voodoo dolls count?
Yall know I'm just kidding right..

greetings from holland :P

Ms Smack said...

noooo get him a Baby Born!

Then, he can feed it, change it's nappy and pretend like he's a real daddy!!

Then, when he gets a girl pregnant in years, MANY Years to come, he'll be a natural dad, blessing the entire family with love!

naijalines said...

I totally agree with everything you've said. I think sexuality is genetically determined. I don't think it's influenced by lifestyle or toy choices!

I'll also buy my son the pink rabbit but not the doll - same reason - negative stereotypes, stigma.

There's def something sad about it... That we adults transfer our closemindedness to children. Same thing as racism. Children don't attach any meaning to skin colour until adults point it out to them.

naijalines said...

On a funny note, my 15 year old when he was about 3 - 4, used to like putting on make up whenever he saw me use some. He'll cry if I don't do his face too. So I'll compromise... put on some powder and a little bit of lip gloss.

Fastforward 12 years later, same son is as homophobic as most Black folks are. I'm always telling him off about it. Youth culture in the UK is very homophobic and that's where he gets it from.

I remind him about the 'dressing up' from his 'past'. He'll say ' I was a child then'.
Ah... the innocence of a child, the folly of teenagers...

UBERMOUTH said...

I would not have a problem buying my son a doll. I think it would be healthy to encourage boys softer side. I would be more concerned about toys that simulated obliterating ppl. than dolls.

Anesha said...

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