Friday, July 25, 2008

Sex Book

Okay, so I have been thinking about doing a pocket sex book! Seriously, I have this very cool idea about this sex book, which I will illustrate myself. I have had this idea for years, but just have not put it into motion, but now I am semi-motivated to get it off the ground…seeing as I have not done anything creative since I completed the majority of the illustrations on my children’s book.

Anyway, I think that God is trying to tell me something, because today I went to Michaels Design, looking for a candle warmer and one of those large candles, because my house smells like fucking fish. Seriously, it smells like two fish fucking. Have you ever caught the aroma of two fish fucking?


Well, trust me. It ain’t cute. So, this morning these female co-works of mine were talking about candles and scents and shit and how they liked how they made their houses smell and I’m like, “I want my house to smell nice, now that I finally have it clean.” Of course they make jokes about the word “finally”….moving on. Can you lady’s help me or not, because I don’t do candles. Seriously, I can’t make the damn things work. I’ve tried and I just can not get that cool, appeasing smell that others people have when you walk in their homes. Pisses me off. I can’t make potpourri work for my ass either! What’s up with that? They suggest, after taking me around the world and back, that I purchase a candle warmer and one of those large candles in the glass. Cool. I can do that.

Anyway, I go into Michaels, which is a arts and craft store, looking for the candle warmer and candle and of course I head directly to the art supple section. Well, what should my wondering eyes should appear…..Sketchbooks for sale! Hello! And not just any sketchbooks, but nice, hard cover, wire bound sketchbooks, in a variety packet that included: 5 ½ by 8 ½ , 8 ½ by 11 and 11 by 14, for 19.99. Are you kidding me? I almost got an erection, I was so excited.

Then, right next to it there was this other little value pack, with included a Strathmore sketch pad, 5.5 by 12 and two 6 by 6, for a little over seven dollars. I got this just for the wire bound 5.5 by 12 sketch pad. Now the reality is that I have sketchbooks out the ass, some that I have not even used. However, I took this as an omen that God wanted me to get to work on my sex book, or do something with my gift before He takes it away from my ass. And yall know He will.
Anyway, my sex book is a how to book and it will be done complete with commentary and cartoon illustration. My dilemma is how I want the illustrations to look. Do I want them to look more realistic or more cartoonish? I can’t decide. I was originally leaning towards the more cartoonish, stick peopleish look, and had even done some loose sketches of what I wanted the people to look, but I really wasn’t feeling it. So now I am leaning more towards a cute, yet realistic cartoonsih look, but I’m still not sure.

I am thinking that I will start doing the pictures and such, and if I don’t do the book think I can turn them into a Sex Blog. I can’t tell yall the complete idea, because anyone can steal an idea and I think this particular how to sex book will be the first of it’s kind. And if it takes off maybe I can do another one. I was thinking about doing a lesbian sex book and calling it, “Two Fish Fucking”, but I thought it might offend folks. What do you think?

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.


Stew said...

sounds like a good idea to me. as far as the people are concerned, they should be realistic, but cartoonish. is the book going to be serious, or funny?

are those good deals on sketch books? cuz when i was reading it, i might as well have been reading french.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lmao@ you writting childrens books AND sex books. your a true author.

Please make them cartoonish, I still get a kick out of those email pics of the flintstones and jetsons having sex.

A.Smith said...

T'm gonna veto that "Two Fish Fucking" for the lesbian sex book title. Definitely.

LOL... but hey, use your talents. USE YOUR TALENTS!

One Man’s Opinion said...

It's going to be a comical look at sex.....Those are excellent deals on sketch books, because it is expensive to be an artist. I told you I almost got an erection. LOL

Undeniably...Deep aka Tina-B said...

I guess you;ve already decided that the illistrations are gonna be my opinion matters less. Huh... Well whatever you choose to do, I will be supporting anything that you do! Cant let my brother fail in his endeavors. Especially since its on my favorite subject!! But I do have a few questions...

Do you plan on having words in this pocket book? How big is this book gonna be (page wise)? And can I get a signed copy?

Miss Gypsy Eyes said...

Do you, One Msn, I'm supposed to be writing a self help book... been working on it on and off for around 7 years, so I can feel you. My mission this fall is to make it to Chapter 3. Good luck, and I'll be praying that the muses are kinder to you than they are to me.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Thank you, Miss Gypsy eyes. I wish the same to you. I wonder what is hurting you on yourself help book? I wish I could help you. Is that an oxzy-moron? LOL. I didn't mean it to be. I seriously wish I could help.

Undeniable, I think I am moving more towards cartoonish, but more like superhero comics cartoonish, than BC comics cartoonish. I think you will enjoy, if I get off my ass. I think I am going to use one of the 6x6 sketches books to do my little ruff drafts of the various positions and whatever commentary I decide to put with it.

I am thinking of making a One Hundred and One ways book, but we will have to see how creative I can be with my positions.

I see it as being the size of one of those, you "You Know You're a Red Neck..." books.

Funny thing is, and yall don't know this. I have been trying to get various cartoons syndicated since I was seventeen years old, with have faced rejection after rejection. It tears a brother down, so I think I fight myself on doing this. It is my fine art that the world loves. I have won art contest and have had one men shows, but that is not how I want to make my name.

Hummm, maybe I should do a post on my world between cartooning and painting.....

Super Dave, I like to call you Homer, I don't know about autor, but I have a creative mind that you would not believe. LOL

FREEDOM said...

First on the candles. The oil warmers are the BEST. You can switch up the oils to suit you taste. The brown sugar and fig is nice. I love vanilla it is calming too. The Aroma from the oil will Definitely have that fish smell gone

Now as for your NEW BUSINESS venture Go 4 IT! Yes, this was/IS a sign from God because you Believe IT IS. Use your awesome talents to help others. And make YOURSELF happy and successful doing something that you love and enjoy DOING (no pun

It's yours for the taking. If not now then when? Couples and singles WILL love this sex book. Hey, who doesn't want to learn to have more pleasure while having sex or making

Sex is a universal activity that every person besides nuns, priests, monks can take pleasure in (sex has NO color)

Do both books simultaneously. This thing WILL be so BIG. Doing cartoons that are kinda realist and some that aren't.

You know parents are always trying to tell their children about the "birds and the bees". You can have three markets you can cater to. Heterosexuals, Homosexuals and parents for their children.

The reality is everybody is having sex so might we might as well teach and educate them how to DO IT WELL and VERY GOOD!

Dreamy said...

hey honey whenever you get a chance can you shoot me your email.

i wanted to explain to you what happened to me about the position.

Mark D. Aster said...

One of these days, I'm gonna have to come to Texas and have coffee with you ... or smoke one of those bags you've obviously confiscated from a suspect on your job, if you're starting to get a chubby from visiting Michaels. (LOL)

Obviously, you've been visiting the white suburban Michaels, as the illustration for this thread should have two PLANTAIN humping if we're talking about us brothers, not the Dole bananas. 4-inches? I'm insulted!!

Anyway, how many times I gotta tell you to do the Tyler Perry thing and stop begging these syndicates to accept your obvious talent. They don't want to give a cartooning brother like Keith Knight bigger circulation in newspapers, even though he's an already established cartoonist with ESPN and Mad Magazine under his belt (and a white wife to boot, which you'd think would help at cocktail parties).

Here's a suggestion: Make it a parody of those godawful "Love Is" strips, but give the characters actual noticeable genitals and call it "Sex Is."

one soulful negro. said...

i am very excited to actually see this book come to fruition. lol

i love when you god gives us a sign in a way that is so unexpected!

i do love the title "two fishes fucking" though. it's quite original and catchy. the title would grab my attention, but you don't want the title to become so huge that it defeats the purpose of your book.

i look forward to reading more about this man.

James Tubman said...

you stole my idea about the sex blog

how did you get into my head like that

i like the conept of a sex book

if you make illustrations of positions that would be really cool

im always learning

that definately peaks my interest

One Man’s Opinion said...

Freedom, now you tell me about the oils. I am going to have to try it, because the candle did, not, a damn thing, even as I left it own while I was at work. Damn it.

I was going to go the route of the hetro/homo thing with my book, but trust me, this book will not be for teaching the kiddies. This is a comical look at real sex, and that is all I can say. I need to start my doodles, since you guys have such faith in me. Maybe I'll do like Marky did says and self publish. It sounds like I can hock my wears from this blog. LOL

Hey, Mark, it is so funny how we think alike. I actually had an idea, many years ago, about doing a parody of Love Is, using little, ethnic versions of the couple with true body parts.

Mark D. Aster said...

Or just combine the sex book with the children's book and market it with the title "Everyone Fucks."

Desy said...

okay- One, I was so distracted by that photo that I could barely focus on your post... you are HILARIOUS... a pocket sex book? you are TRULY out of your mind...lmao...

FREEDOM said...

One Man... you should have posted this before you purchased the

You can go online to "Bath & Body Works" and go to warmers and oils under candles. They can ship it to you also, if you don't have the time to make it to the store.

Hey, you know your blog family will support you and purchase your work. So, yes you already have your niche audience with your bloggers alone.

Go 4 IT buddy!

RealHustla said...

So, let me get this right. You say GOD wants you to write a sex positions illustrations book. Okaaaaay. I'd better not see any of my positions in there cause I don't want God thinking I had anything to do with this.

When the house threatened to get funky my mom used to put baking soda on the carpet, let it sit for a spell and then vacuum it and the smell away. My mom is the tidiest person I've ever met. EVER.

dejanae said...

two fish fucking
u slay me

can we see somea the preliminary sketches?lol

Ms Smack said...

Do it. Seriously.


And be yourself.. that's what people will see.. not a tight-lipped person censored... be yourself and do it.

I am :)

Adamgv said...

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Madam Z said...

I hope you will include lots of illustrations of various kinds of foreplay, and not just intercourse. I think that for most women that's the most enjoyable part of sex.

Sex is never having to say you're sorry that your woman didn't come.

Linda said...

Is it just me, or is it actually strange that a person thinking about a fuck buddy (read: sexual intercourse outside of marriage) now has a leading from GOD to make a book about sex? - A leading from GOD to make a book even about gay sex?

I mean.. I don't want to be preachin', but that's just abusing God's name, man..

naijalines said...

Sex book eh?
Let's have it, bro. I mean the book.

For a debate on homosexuality, check out this blog: (three posts b4 the current one)