Guess what I got in the mail yesterday? You’ll never believe it. ABC, channel 8 sent me a copy of Barbara Walters’ book, Audition. Can you believer that? Yeah, they made that shit up! What the hell am I gonna do with a book on Barbara Walters’, Aunt Clara from Bewitched sounding ass, Memoirs. Not a damn thing, that’s what!
The letter that was folded inside of the hard cover read as follows:
Congratulations! You have been selected as one for the lucky winners in the Barbara Walters Sweepstakes 2008 to receive a copy of Barbara Walters’ new book, “Audition, A Memoir.” Thank you for participating, and please continue to look for more contest on WFAA.com.
Once again, THEY MADE THAT SHIT UP! I ain’t entered no damn Barbara Walters sweepstakes and although I admit to watching the View, because what else is on in the morning at ten, I hate when that heifer is on there. She talks too much, she’s always interrupting, she has the shakes, she stutters and I believe her ass to be racist. I could give a damn if she got fucked by some black senator (or whatever the fuck the guy was)! Just because you got some black dick does not make you racially tolerant. I DON’T CARE!
I don’t want this damn book and I wish Whoopie would stop shoving the damn thing down my throat every time I turn on the fucking show. You got the job bitch, with a contract; you can remove you head from up the woman’s ass. Besides, that no eyebrow having negrette knows full well that she ain’t read not damn novel by Barbara Walters. Better yet, she knows damn well ain’t no real brotha or sistah worth their salt is running out to purchase that hard back copy of six hundred and twelve pages of crap. Okay, that’s not fair. I haven’t even read the book.
Six hundred and twelve pages of what I assume to be crap! Yeah, that’s sound better.
And it ain’t even a first edition! Yeah, I took a look at the cover page, just the make sure. So once again I ask you…what the hell am I gonna do with this damn book? I’ll tell you what. One of my white friends is getting this shit for their birthday or Christmas, I haven’t decided yet. And even my white friends won’t want it, but I don’t care. LOL. (I am so racist. Even with my friends. I’m going straight to the racist corner of Heaven).
Ah, yall thought I was going to say hell, but fuck that. I ain’t damning myself to hell. I’m just going to do my time in the racist corner of Heaven. I bet yall didn’t even know that Heaven had a racist corner, huh? Yeah, it’s a little know fact. It’s not for the true racist. You know the Skin Heads, hardcore Black Panthers n’nem. No, it’s for us mildly racist folks, who say inappropriate stuff, just to be funny, and always has to know the racial heritage of the other person, although it doesn’t really make a different and holds no malice in their heart.
-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.
Hey, anyone want a Novel?