Okay, I have been seriously thinking about moving back home with my mom. This is really hard, because first of all, my mom can work a nerve. I love her to death, but like I said she can WORK A NERVE. You see, my mom had a stroke, which left the right side of her body paralyzed. This occurred over 5 years ago. To top that off, she if overweight, with diabetes and the sweet tooth of a swarm of Honeybees. (Do Honeybees have sweet tooth?) To date my little brother and sister, both 29 years of age, have been living at home taking care of her. It is pretty much a twenty four hour a day job, but only because my mom can be so damn demanding. She wants what she wants right then and there and does not want to wait. I have told her, over and over again; that she is working on other people’s time and needs to be patient. Now, she says that she is working on it, but God knows that that’s a lie. She ain’t working on that shyt, because she is constantly commenting the same freaking violations. Then there is the fact that you can be right in the room with her and she won’t want anything, but as soon as you step out of eyesight, she needs something. What the hell is up with that? And I mean, literally, she wants something as soon as you step away and start to do something else.
Okay, I am getting off track. The reason that I am thinking, even more seriously, about moving back home is because I don’t think that my little brother and sister are giving my mom the best care that they can, especially my little sister (who is gonna make be me beat her ass and end up losing my job). Sunday morning, around 5:45 am, I am in the middle of a foot patrol with my troops, when I get a phone call from my mom saying that she needs me to come and put her in the bed. She sounds like she is crying, which she does a lot; which is annoying. I know that sounds mean, but you have to understand my mom. She cries at the drop of a hat, for no reason. Of course, I am concerned, at first, because she is crying and saying that she needs to be put back in bed. Since she never calls me at work, I am freaked out. Then, once I realize that she is okay, she just can get my little sister to get wake up to push her up into the bed, I am pissed off because she is crying for no good reason.
Here is the set up. My mom is in my old bedroom, which is on the other side of the house (Yeah, they isolated my ass from the rest of the family). My sister is in my mom’s old bedroom, with her door closed, sleeping with my handsome, bad ass, little nephew (so I am sure she is wore out and probably can’t hear my mom calling her). So, I cut my foot patrol short, and head to my mom’s house. Luckily she doesn’t live too far off channel. I stop by Mickey-D’s to get her some breakfast, let myself inside the house, pick up her legs and pull them over onto the bed, and ask her if she needs anything else? She says no and commences to complain about my little sister. I don’t won’t to hear it. I am the only Sergeant that morning and a sexual assault has just come out, as I am getting the cover adjusted to her liking. This particular sexual assault says that it is still in progress, so it is one that I have to respond too, while I am on the other side of town. I lock the door and set off code three to the sexual assault. I still get there before my lazy ass troops. It turns out to be a deal (which means it was a shady, hoe ass, crack-head, bogus call).
Anyway, as I am driving home I contemplate a family meeting and bringing up the topic of moving home to take care of my mom, my damn self. However, there is one major stipulation. She has to kick out the three, grown ass people, living with her. That is my twin brother and sister (my little brother was in Houston at the time of the incident, just recently fired from his job of 4 months) and my 25 year old nephew (who is hardly ever there to begin with, also recently fired from a job). And you know neither one of their ass have saved any money for a rainy day (the typical black man’s mentality). So, I am willing to put my house up for rent and take care of my mom, but I refuse to raise grown ass people, so their asses need to go. PEACE!
I know you are wondering why I don’t just have her move in with me. Well, the answer is simple. The hallway leading to my bedrooms are too narrow for her to maneuver her wheel chair through; as I already explained, my mother is a woman of some girth (and she can’t drive that wheel chair for shyt). So, my only choice would be to move in with her, or start looking for another house (I have been looking for a bigger house. Trust me, that ain’t gonna happen for a minute).
I already have it figured out. Since I work nights, she should be fine at home alone. She can get up to go to her port-a-pot by her lonesome. Since I am a supervisor, I can sneak off to check on her if the need arises. I have already had the experience of having to wipe her bottom for her, and I was not as traumatized as I thought I would be, so I am okay with that. The money that I get for rent on my house I can use to hire a part-time nurse for the actual bathing, because I just am never gonna get that comfortable. And then I will just have to put her in check on that calling a brother ever thirty minutes crap, because it is hard enough to sleep during the day as it is. Also, I would have to put an end to every Tom, Dick and Harry, just coming and going out of the house as they damn well please. That shit is neither cool nor safe. They know damn well we live in the hood.
Problem is, she would never be willing to put these sorry ass (excuse this word) niggers out! Trust me, I have broached to subject before. The last time I told her this she not only had the three I just mentioned living with her, but also my other two grown ass nieces; and would have the nerve to call me and ask to borrow money to pay a bill. Hell naw! I refuse to pay bills when you have five grown ass people living with you, who all have cell phones and shit and no jobs. How the fuck does that shit happen? I got a look at one of my niece’s cell phone bills, which she has left laying about. That bitch was a little over two hundred dollars. Fuck that! That little heifer needs to put up some money on some utilities. I told my mom then, that if she was gonna have my two older sister’s kids living with her than they need to be the ones chipping in. That was not my responsibility and I meant that shit. And I stand by it now. If you want my help, kick their ass out!
I am more than willing and capable of taking care of my mother my damn self; but I’ll be damn if I take care of the rest of them. My little nephew is the only exception, but the rest of those bastard s and bitches gotta go. I ain’t lying.
-One Man's Opinion. Peace
35 comments:
Whew! That's a very difficult decision to make. Your life is goign to change drastically. I know sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. So I wish you the best with this situation.
The artist is Frank Morrison.
:sigh:
honestly, my father has no problems with kicking out moochers and lazy folk (his children included if need be), but thankfully we are SO not that. I've been taught to manage money quite ridiculously, which is why i was able to pay for my all my years of undergrad and first year of graduate school without any contributions from his pocket. In turn, he has been assitive in my savings and has offered me sound advice on handling debt (my second year of grad school)
You kinda remind me of him in your mental (maybe not in the word choice tho...lol)
side note: looking at the ages of your family members, I must seem like a child to you...
I don't blame you wanting those grown azz people out the house if you move in. If you are grown and able to work, you need to work. N***ers and flies!
I see you've thought this out. Well you know your peeps betta than anyone else. What's with us? Why do we think it's okay for grown people to stay together? As a parent or elder you are crippling your children by allowing them to mooch off you and not become self sufficent. As a matter of fact a part of the responsibility of parenthood (although I'm not a parent) is to rear people who can independently become productive members of society. if for some reason this does not happen then you have not fulfilled the mantle of responsibility of parenting.
Be sure to get all those matters settled b4 you jump into that sitcom.
I hear ya and feel ya on the need to kick folks out. This however is a big responsibility that you are taking on and i have major kudos for you on the undertaking. Somebody needs to step up, for real...i am the youngest in my fam, and i am the one who supports my parents, both financially and any other way, although i have 5 other siblings...no matter how much i complain, cuss and fuss, they seem to only be able to let go of $20, an it's only because i rode them and that day. No real solutions man...go with your heart!
There is ABSOLUTELY no way I could move back home. Now if my mom was sick thats a different story. Can't be that bad.lol
That situation sounds a lot more complicated than just moving in to help your mother. Good luck!
I love how real you are!
My family has always believed that I because I am single that I have no responsiblities. Since when does the word single equate to no responsiblitities? I have plenty. I do without a hell of a lot so I can be able to take care of myself in time of crisis. I love my family to death, but they make some hella bad decisions. I tell them, you got to put money aside in case of a rainy day, because you never know. I tell my mom that she needs to put her foot down in that house in order to bring order back to it. When my step father was a live he would have never put up with this crap, God rest his evil soul. LOL What bugs me the most is when my mom ask for money so she can give it to one of my older sibling (you may have guessed that I am smack dab in the middle by now), because they know I will not lend them shyt. Lend to them means give.
Cocoa, don't worry. I don't always make the best decisions, but I got this one on lock down. I'm mulling in my head on how to make changes to this house to fit my mom's needs as well.
Desy, no one is a child to me. Maybe that is because I can be very childlike in nature. Plus, it takes a very grown up mind to commit to staying a virgin in this day in age. Oh, and you get that ed-u-ma-kay-sion, girl. LOL
yes sir....
and since deja aint pass thru yet... i'll go ahead and voice the question
masturbation post in process Mr. Opinion?...lol
definitely agree with the single=no responsibilities equation. my brothers and sisters think the same thing. i don't apologize for the decision i've made. i don't have children because i don't want them right now because i cannot afford to take care of them without having to sacrifice an aweful lot that i like to do.
That's always a tough choice, but I agree that your mom should not be supporting grown ass people. But you know how moms are about taking care of they "babies"
That's very noble for you to step to the plate and take care of your mother when ya siblings and other family members that are present will not. But I feel you on kickin ppls outta the house that refuse to contribute. Hit the B line outta that door! Deuces!!!
yeah thats crazy... especially when your siblings are more than able to take care of the house.
There is an epidemic or something going on with all the blog men moving back home... first mista swag and now possibly you.
I feel you on the crying thing... No need to apologize and you dont seem insensitive... anyone who enjoys to see someone crying is the insensitive one in my book.
Yeap, when it come to their children, Homer. True mothers are just plain stupid. No offense to all the true mothers out there. LOL.
I'm not even gonna give them the Dueces, Fuzzy. They get only one finger. I'll let you guess which one.
Desy, I am not sure that the blog world really wants to hear the story of how I learned to masturbate (not that I ever did it). I am tempted to tell the story of the four aggravated assault people we caught the other day. Your boy lead the charge.
Yeah, Eb, it was reading Swag's blog that prompted me into telling my story.
tellem why u mad son.lol
and u gotta do the assault collar story and the masturbation one now
u cant go teasing folk
it aint right
oh really~ we led the charge did we?
*gettin the popcorn out of the microwave, placing it in a bowl, sitting down on the counter next to open academic book of the hour and pulling legs up indian style*
i'm all ears...
So many things to consider, yet it sounds like none of those things are going to happen. You already know your mom isn't going to throw those adults out.
I say you do as much for her as you can on the side, until you can get a bigger place and move her in with you.
Okay, once again...I had to stop reading for a moment, because this right here, was way too close to my own home...except my Grandmother replaces your Mother. My Grandmother was ill for a while and came to stay with us (yes, I currently live at home...you try gettin' paid nothin' and living alone in Townsville...not too easy) N-E-WAY, so she comes to stay with us, and the first two days she's sweet (which is total b.s., and everyone outside of the family falls for this get up until the 3 day,when we delight in saying "I told you so") and then she begins (as usual) to show out! She would cry too (e.g. she wants Cream of Wheat, but we don't have it/or we're all rushing out the door to work, so we make her toast and coffee really quick and leave a note for whoever leaves the house last to also fix her a boiled egg and turkey bacon...BECAUSE of this, no one loves her, so she must cry and be indignant when being consoled), and she's already mean, so being ill (which she really wasn't) doesn't make "already mean" people any nicer. We would like to blame it on her diagnosed early onset of dimensia, but that too is BS...my grandmother has been mean since I can remember. I love her, but when I was a little girl I couldn't undertand why other little girls would be so excited to visit their Grandmother, when we were told we would be spending the summer at her house, we cried, begged and pleaded not to go...that is NOT a normal reaction of a grandchild for their grandparent, especially not their gradmother.
N-E-WAY...needless to say, she's back at her house now(Praise God) though she is coming to visit for week at the end of the month (I'll need to make myself busy).
Okay, I had to get that out, sorry! :) let me go back and read the rest of your post so I can comment on what I am sure is the point of your story.
Okay, I'm back *phew* ( I feel like I ran around the block) Sooo, I'm sure you've already made your decision, but I'ma tell you how I see it...maybe I'm a bit callus coming off my own situation.
A.) Just like d-place said...this is a decision that will COMPLETLEY change your life...I kid you not, so please seriously THINK ABOUT IT. For us, it was so bad that we didn't have people come over to the house because my Grandmother was too ridiculous for words...but that's not the case for you, but I would think about the social life aspect.
B) I'm surprised all those people are in that one house (or in some state of flux) and not payin' a damn thing...but my brotha, I'm tellin' you, if it was me...I would let things continue until your mother herself says "I want them out, I want change", (she knows you are there, but I'm a firm believer that folk do what they want to do for a reason, my Grandmother has NEVER accepted the offer to come and live with us, yet she never passes up the opportunity to call and cry and complain that no one cares and she cain't do for herself like she used to, we stopped insisting a looong time ago, we finally realised that she liked doing what she's doing)...from what I'm reading, that isn't the case, and if something were to backfire, everything would be on you.
C) I think it is extremely commendible(sp) to do this, but you are definatly going to need help, so even though you
should PUT FOLKS THE HE** OUT...I would be as gentle as possible about it because you may need them to help you out at some point with something or other.
N-E-WAY...I hope whatever you choose to do works out, pray on it first before making a move in either direction. ;)
Initially, I felt it would be good to keep em' around so they could help your mom out while you're at work but...if none of em' got jobs and she had to call YOU to come and help her into bed when she's got all them grown folk livin up in there and not contributing to shyt then I totally agree.
They ain't got ta go far but ummm they gone need to get the hell up outta there!!
I mean what's the use in lettin' em' stay if their just good for nothin' anyway...
My family has always believed that I because I am single that I have no responsiblities. Since when does the word single equate to no responsiblitities? I have plenty.
PREACHING TO THE CHOIR, BRO!!!!But, bruthaman, isn't ALL of society like that? As a professional type it's long been my pet peeve that those of us who are responsible , especially in our community get dumped on. Then we get "giving back to the community" crap even though, truth be told, we NEVER STOPPED giving in the first g-damn place!!!
But it's not just our folk. I
remember some white girl vented her spleen to Bush about the whole "dumping on singles" thing in the 2000 debates, and Bush and Gore both got the gas face and hem-hawed at the question. But politicians will pander to irresponsible non-singles in a heartbeat.
Long story short, your family is only reflecting our society at large, regardless of color ...
As long as moochers are allowed to do it,they're gonna do it. They have no reason to change when someone else is doing their shit for them,eh?
I applaude your siblings for caring for your dear old mum. That's a tough gig and no wonder sister is tired.
Good-luck mate. Sounds like a lot on your plate. Don't take on too much eh?
Okay, VV, I'm gonna respond to you, since you put it all out on the line. Damn, girl. You know that could have been a post in its own right. Now your Grandmother sounds like my Grandmother, before you passed away. My mom forced her to come live down her, from Kasas, when she had a stroke of her own. My Grandmother was the true diffenition of the word bitch. I know that seems mean, but it's true. So much so she would call the police on my mom 'nem all the time. Now I am not a big fan of the nursing home, but I thought, did not say, that they needed to put her ass in one. Now, my mom, being who she was would never even consider such a thing. It became a mute point. My Grandmother, evil woman that she was, had herself checked into a nursing home. Can you believe that? I didn't even know you could do such a thing. Of course, once she was there, she wanted out, but wasn't nobody playing games with her. There she was and there she stayed.
My mom, in contrast, is one of the sweetest person's you ever want to meet. That is the problem. She trust too much and people tend to take advantage of her. Of course, this makes me sick and I can't be around it. I refuse to be around i and I tell her so. That being said, she is not allowed to call and complain to me about the crap going on in that house. She needs to man up and kick all their asses out. I got her.
Hell, I don't have a social life anyway. I am always at home, so it really is the best arrangement. But, although she says she will, I know she will not really being willing to leave her house and say with me. Even if I decided to convert my garage into a bedroom and bath for her, which is what has been mulling around in my mind.
Okay, on a more fun topic. I am drawing the hell out of my book. Seriously. I have taken the story boards and translated them into, what I think, are beautiful and animated pencil drawing. I am very proud that I am creating again and commited to this project. I am doing this book for my little man (nephew). With love from his Uncle. Hopefully I can sale it ot a publisher, one I am done. The story was completed ages ago, now I want to finish the pencil drawing before the end of this month.
Oh, by the way. April 1st was the ten year anniversary of my time on the department.
Can I just say that I love you guys. Such a supportive group.
Mark, where is your blog, sir?
I gave up the ghost, bro. Unfortunately, I was tired of the grief that I get from our people and family for "thinking outside the box," (a lifelong soap opera) so I sold the drawing table, etc. I wish I had your stamina, but I'm not interested in drawing always-angry-at-white-folks cartoons like Aaron McGruder, or always-sappy stuff like the "Jump Start" brutha, and I guess at this point in my life I have too many interests outside cartooning to even be bothered with drawing anymore.
Just looking forward to the day when I can move to Senegal (after I finish Grad school), leave America forever like DuBois, and chill on the beach of my ancestors listening to Fela Kuti and Prince Buster ...
Still dig your stuff, though. Keep that pen swinging!
Then there is the fact that you can be right in the room with her and she won’t want anything, but as soon as you step out of eyesight, she needs something.
LOL.
I agree, I think all the little relatives who refuse to bring something to the table, as far as your mom and bills, would have to go. It's just something honorable about being there for moms though.
MARK, please don't give up the ghost. Never neglect the talent God gave to you, even if you just use it for you.
lol... I'm mad at your mom for giving Violet from Monster-in-Law lmao
Excellent post, and as a nurse how has worked wiht geriatrics I coudl relate.
You need to first get her to sign voluntary enduring power of attorney over to you and then YOU kick those fucks out. Make sure she understands that , that is part of the deal beforew she signs or talk of looking into a care home alternative.
I don't mean that as a threat but a realistic assesment of her situation.
Your relatives could be conceived as commiting elder( financial) abuse but sponging off of her.
Most finacial abuse of the eldery is by children.
You have alot of heart and soul.
Sounds like what u are thinkin about doing is out of love, if so do it, love for fam is the greatest gift we have and can offer
LOL...you never fail to entertain me, I swear!!!! This is a mess....lol...but honestly, I am proud that u are open to taking on this responsibility. Get those ho's out and do what's best for your mother.....
JB
So are you saying that you are willing to have everyone turn against you including your mother? Cause if she didn't want family with her, I doubt that they would be living with her.
I'm not saying you're not right to feel the way that you do, because I'm sure I would, but I'm sure you know as a cop the worst kind of fight you can get into is one with family.
Curious, let me just say, I am not worried about my mom or my family disliking me. The ones that love me, I know love me unconditionally. The rest can go to hell. I'm not saying that my family can not visit. They just can't take advantage. I reviews to let it happen under my watch. That is why they are not under my watch right now.
sounds like a useless nigger, not that there's a useful one!
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