Friday, March 28, 2008

When Life Hand's You Lemons

So this is the big thing right now. People becoming all indignant about lemon wedges placed on the edge of their water and tea glasses. The problem is so many people have seen this freaking video, shown above, and taken it to heart. I finally saw the video, because my so “friend” sent the crap to me and I wanted to see what everyone was talking about. Okay, so it is a gross video. Nobody wants to know about all of the unsanitary things that go on in restaurants anyway. Hell, trust me when I say that the lemon wedges are the least of our problems. Not to mention that this crap ain’t new. Hell, if the lemon wedges haven’t killed or made you seriously ill in all these many years than it’s a good chance that they want now. Yet we still have so many people, who have seen the video and will now take their lemon wedge and toss it on the table in disgust. Well, let’s see if I can put all this in perspective for you.

I’ve been reading a view blogs over the past year. And let’s face it, some of you get very graphic in talking about your personal and sex lives. I have learned that just in the blogging community that the majority of you participate in oral sex activities. Oral sex; are you kidding me? And you people are worried about squeezing and dropping a lemon wedge in your beverage. Do you even know how dirty a penis is? And it’s on the outside of the body gathering all kinds of dust mites and crap, brushing up against underwear. Dried piss that managed to stay on the head and no tell what all is. Can you even get a penis clean? And don’t get me started on the clitoris and all the various bacteria festering in the female’s reproduction organs. Where is, besides bread, can you get “yeast” to rise. If you are dining at the “Y”, trust me when I say that ain’t fish you’re eating. I don’t care what it smells like. And then there are the select few of you that actually lick the anus (the booty hole). You know who you are.

Now, if all of this has been a little too graphic for you, let me take it down a notch and let’s just talk about a simple kiss. Do you have any idea just how nasty human saliva is in its own right? Did you know that you are better off being bitten by a wild animal than a human being just because of all of all the gross stuff in our saliva? The bacteria in a human bite is ten times, if not more, deadlier in the way of bacteria and infection, than any other. That’s a reality. Look it up.
So, I say suck it up and eat the damn lemon! For at least some of you it’s not the worst thing you’ve had in your mouth. I’m just saying.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

Hey, did I go too far with this post? Let me know, because I can delete this bitch.

29 comments:

Promiscuous X said...

Oh wow lol.... Im in the flavor & fragrance business if you think these lemon wedges are something wait till you find out the shit that goes into making these products that u love so much taste so good...you'd throw the fuck up...lol....

Dam.... hey I happen to eat the booty hole lol taste like chicken to me LMAO....Dam you got graphic with this post im not mad at cha playa lol...good post my dude

Ms. Behaving said...

You...Go too far in a post???
NOOOOO!!! [LOL]

I wanna leave a better comment than this [I do] but I gotta go gag and it's ALL your fault.

Hey wait...Anybody got a lemon to spare?? ;-)

JayBee said...

People just need to chill out with all this drama. Our bodies are designed to fight off germs and bacteria anyway so if there is a little something on the lemon you should be fine. Have you gotten sick before? (I'll pause while you reflect--don't make up no lie.)Mkay, didn't think so. One_man: chill with the graphic description of what we might be carrying around. Are you trying to send females on a head strike?!? I don't think you went too far, but you coulda cut some of the part 'bout the penis. Don't mind the part 'bout the clit cause I ain't exactly a fan/proponent of the practice. Damned double standards.

Curious said...

No you didn't go too far, just right up to the edge. Besides just like a dog, people need to have their privates clean and minty fresh and what better way than have someone else do that for you.

Homer is My Co-pilot said...

Hey somebody gotta teach them. They whole country acts like we not walking, talking hosts for germs. Good Post.

Xcentric Pryncess said...

Me and my dumb ass college friends used to be cheap and make our own ghetto lemonade at the table..thats what my cheap self gets....lol

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

HA! A lemon wedge is the least of my concern.

Ewww @ the people who eat anus.

One Man’s Opinion said...

I was so concern with the graphic nature of this post that once I finished it I had to fight myself to hit the key that would send it. I don't talk about sex, ever. It is not in my nature. Oh, the power of the blog. And when you think that my initial post was gonna be about learning to masturbate...Oh well. I am red with shame, but we are all adults.
Promiscuous I know about fragrances, but now you got me wondering about flavors. Hmmmmm.

Ms. behaving, sorry I made you gag. I gaged a little writing it. LOL

Jaybee, don't worry. It will take more than a post from me to stop women from given head. Especially the ones that enjoy giving it. Just like the clip on lemon wedges want stop people from using the lemon wedge. I, myself, eat the entire wedge, hull and all.

Curious, you are right, people should clean their private parts, and the majority of us do. Mines is so clean you can eat off it. Not to meantion that it taste like chocholate covered goodness. Its a good thing.

You are right, Homer. We are turning into a nation of germ-a-phobes. The trust is germs are everywhere. You just can't beat them. Hell, think about who ate off those plates and used that silver ware before you.

Pryness, you know good and well you ain't the only one. I think just about everyone has made that ghetto lemonaid at the table. Don't let the research that people do stop that crap. The lemon wedges are nasty, they need to be trying to get rid of the damn things. I could tell you some stories about the ice that would really disturb you and lets not even talk about the tap water.

Southern Gal, I don't even wanna know. LOL

Mizrepresent said...

One man, no, u were on point, as usual. I sometimes hate when these publc disclosures come out, i'm like hell yeah, i've been drinking out of those hotel room glasses, hell yeah, i ate the lemons, sucked the lemons, dropped them in my water too, but ain't none of that made me sick yet, none of that sent me to the hospital, but a dirty penis has sent me to the clinic.

Eb the Celeb said...

OK... so thanks... for someone who has a complex about giving head... you just made it 10x worse... so when I get a man and he asked why he aint getting none... i'm gon tell him to call you...

but as far as the female juices... they keep ya skin clear...better than any of that proactive mess... and all men want clear skin right?

One Man’s Opinion said...

Miz, that is a great point and right to the point.

eb, you have made me laugh. Don't try to blame me about the head complex. That's is why you should always carry a handy wipe. I didn't now that female juices keep you pimple free. Why, the things you learn on the internet.

dejanae said...

so the learning to masturbate post...
lollll
is it gonna be up tomorrow?

nah
no such thing as too graphic

Pamalicious said...

You wanna run people crazy - find a video of a hotdog plant,lol

At least a lemon is citrus - hell you clean your toilet with that lemony fresh citrus stuff. Some folks definitely don't clean their ass that good.

Why don't we all get a lemons and the next time we get with someone squeeze and rub, lol lol lol Walah - taste like Liptons!

Desy said...

hahaha- being the speech therapist that i am, i already knew about the fact that our mouths are ridiculous in how much bacteria it houses... it's assistive in food breakdown actually....

you really know who to make a virgin feel better about her decision to abstain from oral sex as well...can i keep you?...lol

Desy said...

oops- correction, you know how... not who..

mp1 v.8.0 said...

whoa.

one man is back to form. thabks for the laugh...and the perspective.

Oh, and I cant see the video. I'll check it l8r

One Man’s Opinion said...

Dejanae, don't tempt me young lady.

Desy, I am very impressed that you are a true virgin. I have no idea why.

Pamalicious, how funny you should talk about the cleaning priciples in citrus. Sgt. Lupe and myself were talking about it as I watched her squeeze lemon into her hot tea (she had not seen the clip and I did not enlighten her). I told her that I always slice a lemon in two and scrub down with it pryor to each shower. My pubs taste like lemon-aid, baby. You better ask somebody.

MP, you know none of this is kosher. LOL

Mark D. Aster said...

Actually, milk does a woman's body good, as evidenced by this medical article:

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T8W-3YRW083-6&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=57c64a8eab0a5a42d553254451707a22

Yes, that's actually a scientific paper showing that swallowing after sucking builds up a woman's immune system.

That's why I don't get into religion. First they said playing with yourself will make you go blind, then scientists find out it actually prevents prostate cancer; now this!

guerreiranigeriana said...

lol @ mark d aster's comment?...i didn't read the article, but what 'milk' are you talking about?...

...great post one man...graphic sometimes is what it needs to be...if they don't like it, there are a million and one blogs they can read...

...at the end of the day, if we really knew and in some cases, cared, what went into our food, people would not dine out, ever and would grow their own food...

...all this antibacterial, anti-germ shit has led to 'immortal' superbugs...i swear i saw one yesterday, cape and mask on, just hanging out spitting game at these female non-super bugs...he was trying to convince them that sex with him would make them immortal too...or at least giving him head:)...

Desy said...

a. you have no idea why i'm a true virgin?

b. or no idea why i wanna keep you?

answer a: because it's more sanitary (based on this post....lol)

answer b: because you had me laughing and i don't know enough people who can truly do that (i mean, abs hurt laugh...not gentle chuckle)...

One Man’s Opinion said...

Wow, Mark, I have always heard it joked that semen was a natural source of protein, but...wow. And that other thing. Does this mean I'll never have prostate cancer? I mean, if I started doing it in the first place that is....
Hey, wait a darn minute. Isn't this post about lemon wedges? When did it take this drastic change in direction?

Oh my Gawd, G. That is the funniest comment in the world. You had me cracking up. I actually pictured the damn thing. Here we just have ninja roaches. You got us beat her in Texas.

Desy, I have no idea why I am impressed that you are still a virgin. They come for far and inbetween now adays. Of course my little sister is still a virgin. I'm not convienced that my little nephew was concieved by her. I will say that she had a heck of a tumor, a little over two years ago. The damn thing just grow and grow until one day the doctor's finally had to operate. They let that damn thing grow for what must have seemed like nine months...but yeah, she is still pure. Trust me.

Desy said...

LMAO- i can't even respond... you're ridiculous...

i'm more impressed with your refrain...i don't think i've come across a man who had that much self restraint... what's in your food cause you should give it to your nephew now (since he's only a few years shy of bein active ~per national average...lol)

Mark D. Aster said...

Does this mean I'll never have prostate cancer? I mean, if I started doing it in the first place that is....

As they say, ninety percent of men do, the other ten percent lie and say they don't. When you do, just don't hurt the one you love ... (LOL)

Humility731 said...

People are blowing this lemon thing out of proportion and I am one of them. Yes it may be just a "little something" on your lemon, and yes we dont know how clean a penis is before we put it in our mouths...or for some in us...but we dont think about that. Just like before this video we didnt think about lemons being dirty. BUT NOW WE KNOW so it's different. I am sure if someone investigated how freaking dirty a penis is, i would think twice when i saw another one coming my way....maybe not

MP said...

Don't delete this bitch! LOL It's all so true. Turns my stomach a lil' bit!

Brittany_83 said...

This post is so funny. I don't think people think that deep into it when they kiss someone. Don't delete it!! lol

Ms Smack said...

YUK! I'm laughing at your readers comments though, particularly Promiscuous hahahaa. Hilarious

Ray Aquino said...

Wow, I think I'll just stick to the sexbots...

I'm always worried about the lime wedges I get when I'm at the bar, but I have to squelch that down real quick...

Ms. Lovely said...

lol...wow as a germaphobe and graphic sex blogger lol(though Ms.Lovely doesn't lick no bootyholes ugh!) i'm gonna say I agree with you. Momofuffas that haven't brushed their teeth since they started growing pubic hair gettin all indignant over some lemon wedges. Just don't eat out! But i'm still washing my hands 937493749347 times a day LOL