Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Simple Things
As yall may well know, this is my birthday month. Yes, your boy One Man turns the big 4-0 on the thirteenth of this month. The month of the Leo baby. This coming Friday, one of my College Friends, a practicing Lawyer, is giving me a birthday party at his house. Isn’t that cool? I love my friends.
It should be interesting, since I have invited my family to participate in this bootleg, gala event. My friends are a eclectic bunch. They are black, white, Asian, Mexican, male, female, gay and straight. I might play a bigot on blog world, but I love and hate everyone the same. That’s just how I roll. LOL.
I think I am the simplest person in the world the shop for, because I don’t want or expect anything. If you ask me what I want for my birthday I will tell you, underwear, t-shirts (black or white-because it always comes back to race with me), and socks (strictly black). Everything I didn’t want for Christmas, growing up.
I want these things because I hate buying these things for myself. Especially underwear, mainly because I don’t wear underwear in my everyday life. I only wear it for work, which is what I need all that crap for. I wouldn’t even wear underwear to work, but the material is so damn thin, I’d share all my business with the world at large (if you know what I mean).
On my actual day of birth, I would like to get drunk. Blind, stinking drunk. Don’t you think it is sad that I have never been drunk, in my entire life? I’m proud of the fact that I have never done drugs, but I think I would enjoy being drunk; in a safe environment of course. I need to get drunk and I think I would like to be arrested for public intoxication, but that’s just foolishness. I’d lose my job, or at least get some time off for that shit and my ass is too old and senile to be starting over. Lol.
Not only would I like to get drunk, I would like someone to video tape my drunkenness. I wonder what kind of drunk I would be. I don’t see myself being an angry drunk. I think I would be more of the mellow kind of drunk, since that is who I am. I don’t see the drunk bringing me out of my shell, and the truth is, when around my friends, I am off the chain with out the assistance of alcohol.
I have two friends that are willing to take me out and help me achieve this goal on next Wednesday. One is my friend Lou, but I know he will not allow me to get drunk. I doubt if he will even allow me to get buzzed. Lou is Hispanic. Then there is Wilma. Wilma’s ass will get me good and drunk, but she will also allow me to drive home, like an idiot and I need someone to prevent me from making such bad, job losing, choices. Wilma is black. Of course there is always Ray. Ray is also Hispanic. The problem with Ray is that not only will he get me drunk, but he will also invite a bunch of his questionable friends, who get violent when they drink and I am not trying to die on the day of my birth, nor on the day after.
Hum, maybe I should just give up getting drunk on my birthday.
-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.