Monday, August 4, 2008

The Path to Senility



1. Saturday I was making a phone call on my cell, at work. And as the phone rang in my ear I searching for my cell phone. It wasn’t until I hung up my cell phone, after not receiving an answer, that I realized that I was on my cell phone.
2. I am in the middle of talking to one of my troops and totally forget his name.
3. Calling detail and go to pass it over to the sergeant next to me and have to ask him his name.
4. Talking to one of my nieces, to tell her that I saw a car for her sister and had to ask my niece what her sister’s name was.
5. Not being able to remember if you ate that day.
6. Losing my keys on a regular, at work.
7. Have to leave your back window unlocked, because you are constantly locking yourself out the damn house.
8. Going to a Cotillion ball on Saturday and then directly to work. Getting home from work and looking for you house keys, that separate from your car keys and normally leave in the car, because your key chain has too many keys on it. Having to climb through the window, in order to get into the house. Realizing, the next day, that the keys to your house was in the exact same pair of pants you were wearing when you climbed through the window the day before.
9. Finding twenty and some sometimes more, dollar bills in the pocket of clothes you have not worn in a while.
10. Finding sunglasses, that you have been looking for for over a year, and just know someone had came over and stolen the bitches in the pocket of a suit coat that you had not worn in a while.
11. Getting up to go get something at home and forgetting what it was when you get into the next room.
12. Getting up to do something at work and forgetting what it was.
13. Signs that you are beginning to hoard things. (I need to do a post on hoarding).
14. Laying in bed, changing the tv with your remote control, and then forgetting where you laid the remote, even though you have not left the damn bed. Seriously, how wrong is that.
As my birthday grows nearer, just a little over a week away, I get more and more concerned with the onset of senility. Now, as far as I know, there has never been a history of senility in my family; but keep in mind I only know one side of my family. I know absolutely nothing about my father or his people. Senility is real and though I joke about it, tongue and cheek, it concerns me that I might be a risk frightens me.

How the fuck is it that I have not a single gray hair and yet am going senile? I prefer the grey hair, damn it!
Senility. I ain't a good look on a brother.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

27 comments:

MP said...

that is a perfect picture for this post!!!

I don't think that you are becoming senile. You probably just need to engage in more activies that excerise you mind.

Ieisha said...

This list is so funny, it has to be true. Nobody can make that stuff up.

#1 was hilarious!!!

Super Dave Van Buren said...

that batman pic is great

I have a bunch of gray hair but i can remember my keys and my family members names. Drink so ginkgo stuff homie.

Bangs and a Bun said...

I know it's a serious post beneath all that, but 7 and 8 had me DYING!

And yeah, like the guy above me says - get yourself some gingko jojoba. My mama takes it (but wait, she's like 60, so that probably didn't make you feel any better at all. My bad).

Promiscuous X said...

TO fuckn funny LMAO

MysTery said...

Well dang.

I do number 11 often because I don't make an effort to try to remember.

RealHustla said...

I have several gray hairs and I hate them.

Could be Alzheimer's too. I'm not trying to scare you , but you might want to mention it to your doctor the next time you go. Cause, I would never concede to just leaving my back window unlocked. That's too much. Forgetting people's names, sure, but...I don't know. Start doing some research and taking supplements or something.

My grandmother has Alzheimer's and sometimes we laugh at the things she does, but this doesn't make her condition less serious.

The Dreamy One said...

poor baby......

you had me lmao at #1

and i second what mp said sir

you need a little more mind stimulation

and trust you dont want those crazy hairs,lol

One Man’s Opinion said...

Alzheimer, yes, hustla, that's what i meant. I know it is funny, but I am seriously concerned. It gets worse as I get older.

I have a Rott in the backyard, so I am hoping that no one is bold enough to go back there with him while I'm away.

Anonymous said...

Sounds to me like you are just distracted. The onset of Alzheimers is usually loss of math skills and social graces ,before moving on to 'can't find things'.
Quick! What's 7x10+37-9?

KC said...

I too forget EVERYTHING. My problem is just being too damn hyper and easily distracted to commit stuff to memory. I am constantly moving and thinking too many steps ahead and then forgetting details about the business at hand. I know my ass needs to slow down....no grey hairs yet though....lol

FREEDOM said...

funny!

Dusty Boot said...

Could be adult-onset ADHD. My bf has most of what you describe, and it was driving me nuts until the doctor put him on some meds. Have a chat with your doc.

Curious said...

Wow, and I just go finished watching a show on Alzheimer's on PBS. They said that one of the jokes President Reagan used to say when he got his check up at Bethesda was "I have 3 things to tell you. 1 my memory is going and I forget the 2." So before you start to drool, lose touch with friends and family and forget which direction you're supposed to piss in, have a talk with someone and they can arrange for some simple tests for you to take.

Sha Boogie said...

I have done that cell phone thing waaaay to many times, doh!

guerreiranigeriana said...

...you're hilarious and so is this list!!!...i can actually relate to quite a few...i don't think you're becoming senile...i think it may be a symptom of multi-tasking, doing too much at one time...and in that, not working the brain enough...but instead of self-diagnosis, it may be better to actual consult a physician...at least that way you can start to address it early and extend the time before you are completely senile, if that is at all what the case is...

Gotta Let it Out said...

LMAO... well hunny bunny, some of these can be attributed to the fact that you ain't the most organized dude in the bunch... if you keep things neat and tidy, you could eliminate lots of these issues...LOL... I'm just saying!

cathouse teri said...

Actually, this all just means you have too much on your mind.

You're not old enough to be getting old.

As long as you don't forget whether or not you got laid, you are safe.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

9, 10 and 14 are the bomb lol

CocaColaCutie said...

14. Laying in bed, changing the tv with your remote control, and then forgetting where you laid the remote, even though you have not left the damn bed. Seriously, how wrong is that.

yo! i do this all the time! it's really sad. nice blog...i'll check you out some more later.

Ms.Honey said...

LOL dang..first time by but I will def be back :)

JayBee said...

what's most disturbing is that someone was recently teasing me about my questionable memory. reading this post only reinforces some of what was said.

Darius T. Williams said...

I soooo know how you feel.

Mizrepresent said...

Sometimes Senility can come dressed as STRESS!

one soulful negro. said...

if this is the path i've been going there for a long time. and i've got some grey hair, so what does that say about me...lol

Nikki Miller-Ka said...

I just wanted to drop by and say hey. You've been in my google reader for a while and I like LOL at you from afar, without leaving comments, just because I think I'm being sneaky (shhh, don't tell anybody).

I love your blog. Well, what you write, anyways. Keep it up.

Stew said...

i got another one for you.

forgetting how you got from one room to another in your house. i mean completely forgetting that you just got up and walk from the bed room to the living room and trying to remember how it happened.

this and alot of the stuff on your list happen to me all the time. i think i got you beat too. i am only 23