Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I Am Such a Worry Wart

I am such a worry wart. I come by it honestly. It is one of the many traits that I got from my mommy.

So, what am I worried about? My little nephew, of course. Yesterday he started real people school; the Head Start program. Well, as you know, school is not like day care, where you have designated people that are allowed to come and pick up your kids. So, now I am worried about my nephew being kidnapped. Isn’t that crazy? I didn’t really think about it much, day one, but here it is day two and it is on my mind.

If I worked a different shift, I could be the one to pick him up and make sure that he is safe at the end of the day, but I am sleep during those hours. Right now we are depending on my little brother to do the job efficiently. Still, I sent a message to my little sister, asking her if she has started teaching my little heart about stranger-danger. Hell, she allows so many negroes up into his life, I don’t want some random person going up to him at his school, picking him up and spiriting him off. And yall know that shit happens everyday.

Yeah, I know I am being a worry wart…Hell, why do you think I titled this post as such, but still…. So, does of you with school aged children…How did you teach your child about stranger-danger? Was it hard? I mean, Manny (and that is not his real name) does have a sense of self preservation. I have been with him on two occasions where he was weary of someone and made his way closer to me. I make note of the occasions, because Manny is such a friendly child and open to just about everybody. So, of course I key on anyone that causes him to react differently than he normally does, and give them my critical eye. Trust me, these guys (hard as they may think they are) do not want to fuck with the uncle of Manny. I’m not willing to lose my job over much, but Manny is one something that I will be making CNN’s headline news over.

So, any stranger-danger tips for a three year old child.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.



I think he should wear at shirt everyday that says,' My Uncle is in the mafia AND a crazy Motherfucker!'
That'll keep him safe!


Make use of t shirt advertising.

BronzeBuckaroo said...

You are a good uncle. I have the same worries about my nephews and niece. Short of teaching them use a gun and gnerally shoot anyone who looks a them in the slightest pruient way in the groan area, the best we as uncles (or aunts) can do is really lay into their parents about child safty. Nothing should be taken for granted. If necessary, go to the school,start a program, watchdog program with other concerned caretakers and etc.

If something happened to my little ones, my heart would stop, but not before I became a featured story on the national news front. No nasty bastard looks my babies the wrong way and walks away without being slightly maimed!

As one who was a victim of a sexual agressor as a child, I know those experiences stay through a lifetime.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

I don't have any good stranger-danger tips besides don't go with anyone you don't know. I worry about this with my daughter because she is so friendly and while I want her to remain friendly I don't want her to end up missing. It's a tough balance.

Anonymous said...

I worry about this too because my son is friendly. I tell him don't go to anyone he doesn't know. But being a 3 yr old, I'm not sure he understands it.

RealHustla said...

First of all, I think you've misunderstood. In California, Headstart IS sitll pre-school and you have to fill out the same paper work as in daycare. It's just called something different because they're trying to change to learning environment of the child to a more mature one, but yet they still know that this is your baby. In that paper work, they ask who it is that you would like to pick up your child. My daughter just started Kindergarten, and strangers had to show their I.D. to staff all the way up until about two weeks ago when she was in pre-K.

Second, even in Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd grades, etc., the teachers were terrified of giving a child to a wrong person. We have to tell the teacher what the child's "get home" arrangement was. If it was different than what we'd discussed, you weren't getting the kid. Those were the good teachers.

Next, but not last (if I think of something else I'll let you know). You should communicate clearly Manny who will be picking him up. Teach him the right temper tantrum. I mean, if he ain't clear about whose picking him up tell him throw a damn fit with the words "You're not supposed to get me from school, only my Mommy!" Keep the phrase simple. The teacher will recognize how dramatically his personality changes, just like you, and hopefully act accordingly.

Now, just imagine. I have a dead beat baby daddy, and there is no law that says he can't swoop my baby up whenever he feels like. How do you prepare the child for that? I don't know.

Anonymous said...

MAN!!!! We are so much alike... I act this way over my nephews too. Even my little brother... who is 15. But still, they are never too young or old to be weary of strangers. My oldest nephew (6) hugs just about every damn body. It's the wierdest shit ever. I tell his ass all the time, "he or she will touch you wrong, step the hell off."

So maybe try a scare tactic...

Didn't work on my nephew though... he thinks I'm a bit crazy.

KennonP said...

Just relax man.

MP said...

my nephew is anti friendly and nobody could talk him into a damn thing so we never worried about him walking off with somebody but at his school they definitely taught them all about stranger danger.

Mizrepresent said...

Man, ain't nothing wrong with that...i have worried about my children since birth and continue to do so...it's the love in us...we can't help it...but it will drive you insane...there are still good people out there, still good parents, teachers, neighbors etc...and then there is us...and US won't ever let something go down if we can prevent it...so rest easy, and when you are on alert, act...intuition has always proven affective!

Desy said...

my dad always had a thing against worrying except when it came to his children... it is so interesting to see such 'together' men fall apart at the idea of something happening to their little people... but if he is picked up properly and taught the right 'don't talk/go with strangers' skills then I'm SURE he'll be kewl...

MysTery said...

Stop all of this worrying!!

Anonymous said...

95% of the things we worry about never come to pass. That's the good news. Now if for some insane reason, this falls into the 5% that does, teach Manny about strangers. He'll understand.

And the schools don't allow just anybody to pick up the little ones these days. My nephew was in preschool at an actual elementary school and the day I picked him she carded me, checked his list for my name AND asked him if he knew who I was.

Trust Manny, he knows crazy when he sees it. Wait, maybe he doesn't. You are his uncle after all, lol.


Chill. He'll be fine.

RunningMom said...

My son is in 7th grade and his school still requires a pick-up list. If your nephew's school is letting him go with whoever, it's time to change schools. Run. Now. Quickly.

As for stranger danger, I taught my son to stick by me but if he ever got lost to find the nearest mom with children and ask her to help you find your mom. Another mom will usually take the time & effort to reunite a child with his/her mother.

aoc gold said...

Sweet And Low


Sweet and low, sweet and low,

Wind of the western sea, ,

Low, low, breathe and blow,

Wind of the western sea!

Over the rolling waters go,

Come from the dying moon, and blow,

Blow him again to me;

While my little one, while my pretty one, sleeps.


Sleep and rest, sleep and rest,

Father will come to thee soon;

Rest, rest, on mother's breast,

Father will come to his babe in the nest,

Silver sails all out of the west

Under the silver moon;

Sleep, my little one, sleep, my pretty one, sleep.

-----by age of conan

The Dreamy One said...

Manny is blessed to have someone who cares about him like you do

things are gonna be fine for him...pray about it and you start teaching him what he needs to know when yall have a little spare time...

and i with ubermouth on the t-shirt thing,lol

yet another black guy said...

Aww, look at you - all up in arms lol! he's a lucky kid

lyre said...

Be more worried that the teacher is qualified and loving towards the children. My first bad experience in school was my Kindergarten teacher. The B wopuldn't let me go to the restroom. I told my mother and the next day she berated me in front of all the children for telling that she wouldnt let me go. I was scared and terified of MRS CAMPBELL. I remember that and I am 51! So don't worry about who picks him up.I'm sure YOU have expressed the consequences if any caretakers F up. Worry who's affecting his tender sensibilities.

naijalines said...

You've got some really good tips here. I told my son never to go with anyone except me (including people he knows).

Also not to speak to them and if anyone tries to take him away, to start shouting as loud as he can.

It's the only way.

Miss Gypsy Eyes said...

My daughter at three had never met a stranger but they do, as you said, have a strong sense of self- preservation. My advice, is to make sure he can speak clearly enough to be understood by anyone, anywhere. He needs to know his name, his mom's name, your name, and phone numbers to reach you guys- it sounds like a lot for a 3 year old but if make it into a game or a song they will stick in his mind. I ran into a child lost in the Walmart who didn't know her Mom's first name and thought her own name was "lil mama." It's also a good age to start teaching him about good touches and bad touches, and what to say when they don't want to go with someone, or do something, "Scream, 'no'!"
You can also teach him to ask questions, and help your sister set up a routine, what he should do if the person who is supposed to pick him up doesn't show and who's next in line if that person is unavailable. The point is so people can't just pop up on him and say "your Mommy wanted me to pick you up and take you to her." The same thing goes for emergency situations. Make sure HE is in the know so he can't be easily fooled, not matter what he's told. People don't give children enough credit, to keep him safe you have to empower him, give him the tools he needs and you will all reap the benefits. Also, I dunno about how it is where you are, but here in NC, they don't allow people not named on a list to pick up a child and that person has to show ID before they will even call the classroom, even if the child is ill they ask for ID. If the child has been taken to the hospital(even if they know you) they won't give any information with out a picture ID and name on the list. So you may want to actually go down there one day and find out their policies, it would give you some peace of mind.

Promiscuous X said...

Hell know your not..this kind of think is normal. Ima feel the same way when my nephew starts going. I wish a nigga would lol

Such a "REAL' post...you are so down to earth man werd up

cathouse teri said...

Well the chances of Manny getting kidnapped are slim. Still, since I went through this with three children, I realize how much this info is of little help.

I don't know what kind of Head Start he is in, but I don't know of that sort of school that allows just anyone to pick them up. Even in Kindergarten, only certain designated people can pick them up. Are you sure about this?

PS ~ Stop worrying. :)

cathouse teri said...

Also, oddly enough, it's the aunts and uncles and grammas and grampas who worry more than the parents. Mostly because you really have no control over the situation at all. That's why I say being a grandmother is almost harder than being a parent.

Don said...

Enjoyed the read, and don't I know what you mean. I feel the point you are trying to make.

Nowadays, I want the very best for young children. The very best and since I've grown and I have lived and seen how this world can sweep your feet and innocence right from under a child, it's everything inside of me to do two things when it comes to the little ones - protect and serve to the fullest. The fullest.

Stew said...

i've got no advice

good luck though

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

it only means u care folk - thats a ghood thing

Eb the Celeb said...

let me find out you over here getting all sensitive and ish... MAN UP ONE MAN...lol

the boy will be alright

Darius T. Williams said...

real people school? You're hilarious.

Bombchell said...

its ok to be worried, provided you dont go crazy with it.

I remember something on the news about child protection and tracking device thing they put in it, so you can be alerted when your child leaves the main premises. I cant really remember much.

But I'm sure there are tons of sites dedicated to protecting children, and devices, created by worried & over cautious family & friends

Ms. Behaving said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with you being concerned about your nephew's safety...

In this day and age/with so much going on WE ALL SHOULD BE.

It's kind of hard [I think] to explain to a 3 y/o that s/he shouldn't talk to or go anywhere with strangers.

[I don't think I started talking to my own about stranger danger until they were about 5 or 6 years old **when I thought they'd have a better understanding**]

So yeah...I'm lovin' ubermouths idea.

That oughta keep the kidnappers @ bay!! LOL

Anonymous said...

My three year old I am sure they would bring back afterhe asked 1 million and 1 question by time they pull out of the parking lot. But he is real leary about going with people he doesn't know, so we are still working on it.

One Man’s Opinion said...

There is nothing like the people of blog world for good advise. Thank you all so much for calming my nerves, as best as you could anyway. I really enjoy the idea of going to a mother with children of her own. That was the bomb.

Ubermouth, thanks you for coming from retirement to lean a word of advise.

And to those of you who told me to stop worring, I appreciate you too. I just wish it were that simple. Seriously, I worry about everything sometimes. I wish I worried about myself as much as I worry about everyone else.

I don't do it to the point of going insane though, so that's a good thing. I do get it from my mom though. That's why I can't tell her anything, because she will think the worst.

Me and my mom are twins. LOL

Shonda Little said...

We worry about our babies, that's just what we do. It's not odd that you are worried about him, it would be odd if you weren't.

Sexxy Luv said...

this was a cute and funny post! especially when i read he was 3!

i think you should just sit him dowm and talk to him about strangers, that is my best advice.

Nikki Miller-Ka said...

You are such a wonderful guy, worrying about you little man :) I'm amazed at this show of concern. Not because it's you, but because you're admitting your worry and concern.

I don't have any little ones, but I tell my little nieces and nephews: 1-if anyone tries to touch you where your bathing suit covers, yell "stop! you're not my mom or my dad!" 2-have a secret password that only the people who are supposed to pick you up know.

That's about all I have to offer.

blkbutterfly said...

i know others have said this already, but i'll throw my 2 cents in. the school should have a list of who is authorized to pick up your nephew. i never let my students go home w/ ppl who aren't on the approved list, even if that person lives next door!

as with any child, i think the best thing you can do is a)set up a routine so he will know what to expect after school each day, b) tell him if someone else will pick him up from school that day, c)practice, practice what to do if someone he doesn't know tries to take him, and d) find age appropriate books for him that talk about "stranger danger" and discuss what it means. your sister might want to ask his teacher if they discuss that sort of thing at school.

you're not being a worry wart. :-)

Ms Smack said...

hey mate. Consider teaching your nephew about safe and unsafe touches rather than stranger danger.

Unfortunately abuse often is perpetrated by someone KNOWN to the child, not a stranger.

Gone are the days when the dirty old man behind the shed was the target of people's anger... the offender is an every day guy, with a wife, kids and normal job.

But seriously, don't over do it. Let him be a little man for as long as the world lets him.