Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Random Stupidity


I love my job, but why do my fellow police officer have to be so damn stupid? So far this year we have had officers wrecking police cars and then filing false reports. Reporting their personal cars stolen, when they really weren’t, for the insurance money. Beating up their girlfriends, just because they were breaking up with them, and getting arrested. Getting arrested for drunk driving. Getting into bar fights, WITH EACH OTHER! Shooting themselves, while playing with their guns. And the most recent thing I heard about, just yesterday, is having sex with a prostitute while working an extra job. This mess was supposedly caught on camera, in the building that the officer was suppose to be providing security for. Ain’t that some shit? Makes you just wanna run out and join your local police force, doesn’t it?
***

First of all let me say that my wireless internet sucks and I was unable to use the damn thing for four days, so I am very sorry if I have not got a chance to take a look at you good people’s blogs. I promise to catch up. Anyway, this is my first blog of randomness, so wish me luck.
First of all, did anybody see or hear about this? This precious little girl was born about three weeks ago, to a factory worker in northern India, with two skulls fused together as one. The end result was one baby, two faces. Both pair of eyes, noses, and mouths, on the infant, works normally. As a matter of fact, she is said to eat with one mouth while the other sucks a thumb (interchangeably, of course). This is a rare abnormality, but the family is taking it in stride. Talk about your unconditional love. I am not sure what I would do if my child was born with two faces, or heads, as the case may be. Go to YouTube and see the clip about the two headed girl, she’s a teenager now. It is both heart wrenching and uplifting story (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSy9W3gIhnQ ). But back to the two-faced baby; the kid has yet to be named, but she is already being worshiped as a reincarnated goddess, in her country.
****
Bobby Brown is a bitch! Can you believe this asshole has wrote, and I use the word wrote loosely, a new tell all book? This just goes to show that Bobby, much like O.J. Simpson, will do anything for money and to maintain his celebrity. Let’s see, first he does that one reality show, “Being Bobby Brown” Then there was “Gone County” and now this new book, Bobby Brown the truth, the whole truth and nothing but…, which peeks into his marriage to Whitney Houston (and yall know I love me some Whitney Houston). He says how she only married him to combat the rumors of her being gay (yeah, that worked), and how he never did cocaine until after he met Whitney. What he meant was that he couldn’t AFFORD cocaine until after he married up with Whitney. Yall know that until then he was just your average, going downhill, crack headed hustler. Get these quotes regarding his 15 year marriage to the pop diva, “it was doomed from the very beginning. Within the first year we separated, with several more to follow,” Brown writes. “I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married . . . I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children.” I think his ass is still mad that she canceled his insurance, that time he had that heartache and had to go to a county hospital. I would never even think about buying this book, but I wonder if he speaks about how he just to beat her ass. What a bitch, Bobby is. I could have done a whole post on his BItchdom alone.
***



While my internet was down I was able to get a lot accomplished, as it relates to my children’s picture book. I am only six drawing away from finishing this bad boy. I also went to Borders Books and have found six different publishers that will take submissions from new authors, without the aid of a literary agent. I am very excited about sending off my letter of query, to at least three, this coming weekend. So, I would like some honest feedback, for you good people, regarding my query letter. Here it is:



In the tradition of the Cat in the Hat, and the Bernstein Bears, Hero in Our Town is written entirely in verse. This book tells the story of an incompetent Hero, in a small town. The story is narrated by a little six year old boy, who bears witness to our Hero’s ineptitude, as he attempts to use his vast array of powers for good, only to wreck havoc in the small, hapless metropolis. As the story unravels we know that out little narrator is aware of Hero, but it is unclear if Hero is aware of the little narrator existence. Hero, in our town, is a picture book containing a 227 word count and 24 illustrations and designed to stimulate the reading muscles of kids three years old and older.



(Second paragraph, I will say a little about myself).



May I submit to you Hero, In Our Town, for your consideration? Should you be interested in publishing this manuscript, along with the illustrations, I would look forward to working with you and your editorial staff on revision as required. Thank you for your attention and consideration. I look forward to hearing and having the opportunity to work with you. Enclosed, find a SASE for your convenience in replying.


So, what do you think? Honest feedback please. Be brutally honest. I can take it. I wish I could find the disk to my scanner, so I could show yall the color drawing I completed, yesterday, of Hero and the narrator. I am also sending this in so they can get a sense of both the characters and my style of drawing. Keep your fingers cross for me. Hell, bump that, send in your prayers. I already have ideas for calendars, for petesake!

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.
(Just for the record. The Two-Faced baby is not considered random Stupidity by any stretch of the imagination).

36 comments:

MP said...

Two faces... My God. I can't even imagine...

Bobby Brown is a bitch! Here Here!

Good luck with the children's book!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Thank you MP. What? No words of wisdom from my educated one?

Mark D. Aster said...

Good luck from me, as well!

Mizrepresent said...

I love the storyline...i think you have something here. It would be more received with the illustrations. I would give more detail about hero and what he attempts to do, or correct in his small town and how the young boy receives his Hero's detemination. In the end, what is his motivation and how can it inspire a 3-4-5 year old to do better. All in all, i love it!

Desy said...

yeh to the random post!... very nicely done

i had seen the special on those two young ladies with the one body... it still fascinates

i haven't heard anything about the baby tho...*going to do some research while avoiding Bobby Brown*...lol

One Man’s Opinion said...

Thank you Mark. Thank you too, Miz. Just to be clear, my research shows that the query letters needs to be no more than one page long, so brevity is key. That being said, I hope that my little snippet about the book does not lead one to believe that there is a moral to the story, because there is none. Well, if there is one it is not to look toward's Hero for assistance. It is pretty much a comedy or errors, goofs and blunders. It's hard, using a blurb to describe a whole story concept. I am gonna use you good people's feed back in order to refine it though.

JayBee said...

tell the story without telling the story. at a publishing company i'm sure all the story lines seem the same. share a little more about what makes yours unique. just a few grammatical errors in the letter. i'd be happy to do an official edit via e-mail. look in the archives at some letters i've written if you need proof of why my letter writing is the truth.

JayBee said...

oh yeah and much success on this endeavor.

j_shanlin said...

love the story line! who knew you were writing a children's book. It seems like the blog nuccas are so damned talented! Oh and btw, Berenstein Bears was not written in verse. Only part in verse is the little piece in the cover of the books that gives the moraal...(sorry I still read those books and watch the movies at 18 y.o... don't hate)

One Man’s Opinion said...

I always thought the bears were written in verse. Wow, thank you for that correction, Shanlin. That was close.


Jaybee, I would be honored to have you proof letter. It would be greatly appreciated.

Homer is My Co-pilot said...

I won't pretend to know anything about getting a book published but the story sounds good. Actually it sounds like that movie "Hancock" coming out with Will Smith. Good luck with it, I'm always looking for stuff to read to my daughter.

One Man’s Opinion said...

yeah, when I saw the preview for Hancock, I thought, what the F. But they really are nothing a like and besides, I wrote mine first, damn it.

Eb the Celeb said...

That baby is gorgeous... Thats all I have to say... I have never seen such a cute baby with that type of abnormality. I think having 2 faces is the least crazy thing I've seen when it comes to those cases. She actually still looks comfortable. I've seen some of them and they look like they are just hurting all the time.

Good luck with the book... that little girl is going to need 2 copies...lol

Damn that was wrong but she does have 4 eyes for real... damn what if they need glasses... then they will be 8 -eyed...

Ok let me stop... my kids gon come out hella-retarded for that.

Eb the Celeb said...

Oh and I dont know if I can read ya blog no mo cuz I dont mess with no po-po....lol

One Man’s Opinion said...

Eb, you are soooo wrong for that two book comment. I won't even go there with you. You gonna have to sit in hell alone on this one.

Ms Smack said...

Two faces, poor little girl... I don't know how or if I would cope if it were me.

Bobby Brown is a wanker. Always has been, always will be.

Jaybee's advice is the best I can support. I'm sure you've researched what a good letter should look like.

Keep us posted and good-luck.

One Man’s Opinion said...

thanks, ms smack

dejanae said...

good luck with getting ur stuff published man

stupid cops.smh
i can believe it.lol

cathouse teri said...

Cute baby! I hadn't heard about her. I have been following the story of the conjoined twins you mentioned for a number of years. When I first saw them, I had the same reaction you did (about them and the baby) but after watching them for a bit, I can see how being around them makes it seem normal. At any rate, I know they prefer not to be called "two-headed" but rather two girls who share parts of one body. They are an interesting pair. A little spoiled and temperamental, though, in my opinion. ;)

I love the idea of the book! Nice write-up. I did notice some things that need to be edited, but see you already have an offer to fix those up. I can't wait to see the masterpiece when it's finished!

And yes, Bobby Brown has been, and always will be, a bitch.

Ms. Behaving said...

I agree with Eb [whose comment I am LMAO btw] in that the baby is beautiful...

I can only hope that she will go on to live a happy life but I imagine it will be far from normal.

Ditto on your thoughts about Bobby...THAT right there...is a bitch move for real.

The story line for your book is fantastic. I wish you ALL THE BEST with that. :-)

Curious said...

A kid with 2 faces? I think if it was mine, I'd be locked up somewhere serving time or drunk on my ass 24-7. Sorry, call me weak, but I wouldn't know how to deal with it. Just being real.

And of course I say that because I have no kids so in fact it might not be an issue if I did. They say becoming a parent changes you so who knows.

Oh and Bobby Brown was always a bitch what's new? People said that before he married Whitney. I said it before he married Whitney.

And let me get this straight, you've written a children's book with no cheap moral code that children will grow up and cherish and reread over and over again? Brave. Different but brave.

D-Place said...

Bobby Brown is a bitch! Like Curious said...he's always been one.

The letter is written well with aside from the couple of grammatical errors. However, for some reason I think that it sounds like your begging. Not sure if that's how it should be done as I've never written such a letter.

D-Place said...

I have my nerve talking about grammatical errors huh. I seem to always mis-type in my comments and even on my blog. I guess it's ok here though. :-)

King's Kid said...

One Man,

The letter is concise; to the point and aside from a few typos (below) seems good to go.

Be sure to take your time and proof read it before you send it, btw, the spellcheck is helpful,but proofing is your friend.

May not be my business but -- GOT COPYRIGHT?

The story is narrated by a little six year old boy, (drop little)

in the small, hapless, metropolis (added a comma after hapless)

that out little (our)

the little narrator's (added 's)

Hero, In Our Town (initial caps)

forward to hearing (add-from you)



Peace

One Man’s Opinion said...

Look at King Kid, looking out. That's what I'm talking about. Jaybee is nice enough to proof the whole thing for me.

D-place. typos are okay in a blog, but in letters regarding publication of a book they are never good. I appreciate all input. I need my query letter to be strong. It is my first impression, after all. Begging, huh? I don't want to sound like I am begging.

fuzzy said...

I so wanna read that Book! lol

The baby, so precious!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

man u are wild bobby brown LOL

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

man u are wild bobby brown LOL

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

good look folk, just have them order it for u, then they will carry it thanks for the love from one scholar (real man) 2 another

VertigoVirgo said...

Just because one is an Officer of the Law, does not mean that one upholds the law...but I'm sure this does not include you *sigh* then again, we are all human,yes?

:) I must have a copy of this book, I'm very excited for you!

mp1 v.8.0 said...

Can you tell me how you really feel about Bobby??

A small suggestion fro the first paragraph. When you're descringing the "little six year old narratort", I really don't feel like you need the word "little" there. that is unless she's a midget or something. Other than that the little six year old sounds a bit redundant, imo.

Other than that, good stuff. Good luck with it.

guerreiranigeriana said...

ok...hope i'm not too late...congrats on the book!!...i am super-duper proud of you...quick feedback on the letter:

...is the book 'Hero in Our Town' or 'Hero, in Our Town'?...you use both, but they represent two different things, with that comma inserted where it is...determine which it is and stay consistent with it throughout the letter...

...'wreck' should be changed to 'wreak'...

...'narrator existence' in first paragraph should be changed to 'narrator's existence'...

...regarding 'stimulating reading muscles'...maybe i'm the numbnut here, but i don't know what that means...it may be better to say in plain english for the dodo birds like myself who may be reading the letter, what exactly you hope the children will get from reading your book (unless it is well-established children literary jargon that i'm just not hip to)...it will stimulate their thinking skills and ability to rhyme...or what it will do...

...in the last paragraph, i would eliminate the 'may' and make it a statement rather than a question...of course you may submit...that's what you're doing anyway...

...towards the end, 'i look forward to hearing from you' can suffice...you can take out the 'and working with you' piece because it is implied in the statement above about making revisions they suggest...

...i would have loved to have seen the piece about yourself but hey...otherwise, sounds good!!....joy!!!...i'm sooooo happy you are making this happen...cheers to you...thinking of going out tonight to celebrate...think i might have to take a shot for you!!...and i don't even drink like that...2008 is the year of the come up!!!...

guerreiranigeriana said...

in response to the rest of your post...see why sometimes i can't stand cops??!!!...and i'm supposed to listen to them and respect them?...what again is the criteria for being a police officer?...arggh...i should have skipped over that part...

...wow for the girl in india...i can't help but wonder what the parents do for a living and what occupational risks they are exposed to...or where they live and what kind of radioactive dumping has occurred there...definitely not normal...glad the people see her as a reincarnated goddess..helps reduce the stigma and abuse she'd face otherwise for being different...how does one even attempt to operate?..i don't think you can...

...bobby is such a bitch!!!...wow...if that fool could publish that shit, i for damn sure can get published...at least oj's dumbass book was lightweight a tease/throw it in your face...bobby's is just bitch-made, begging, simp shit!!...what a loser...and i used to get down to some 'my perogative' and 'tenderoni'...damn...what'd ole boy on the chappelle show use to say, 'cocaine is a hell of a drug'...

One Man’s Opinion said...

Thanks to all you you for the encouraging words, comments and editorals. I going find the disk to my scanner, hopefully, because I want yall to have a look see at Hero and the little narrator (I left six year old out). I added color to the bad boy and will be sending it out with the letter. By the way, Jaybee took it a step further and retyped my whole letter for me. What do you think of that and we all know that brother doesn't pimp for free...Or something like that. LOL. Thanks again to you, G. I need to go back in look. It is Hero, In Our Town.

JayBee said...

foolish. absolutely hilarious. but just for clarity's sake and to maintain the integrity of my quote, i don't hook for free.

John Barleycorn said...

I didn't read the other comments so I don't know if this has already been said, but your idea is great except the writing is riddled with grammatical errors. You over- and misuse the comma repeatedly. I could take a crack at cleaning it up if you'd like.