Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Nobody Like My Mom

I love my mom soooo much. I just got off the phone with her; she invited me to come over for meatloaf, greens, candied yams and hot water corn bread. I turned her down, because I already had plans to feed myself today, but as I was hanging up it dawned on me just how much I love my mom. I don’t think I say it or show it enough. Working nights and sleeping days makes it pretty damn hard to spend as much time with my family as I would like. Although, we did have a very nice time celebrating my cousin’s birthday on Saturday. I had to go to work right after. It was so cute. My nephew had his little backpack and told everyone he was going with Uncle “One Man”. I hate it when he wants to go with me and I have to turn him down. Kids remember that crap. Actually, I never really turn him down. I distract and then sneak off. Which is probably worse, but I can bare to see the hurt look on his precious little face (damned, manipulative, little bastard).

Anyway, back to my mom. I think I take it for granted just how amazing she is. She had a stroke over five years ago, that left her paralyzed on the entire right side of her body. She went through rehabilitation for as long as we could afford it. They actually didn’t expect her to ever learn to walk again, being overweight and all; but to everyone’s surprise, she regained limited mobility (which means she could get off the bed, on her on, and get into her wheelchair. She learned to do everything using the non-dominant side of her body. Meaning she had to learn how to write, cook and other essential things with her left hand. Since she was able to maneuver into her wheelchair on her own she tried to maintain some of her independence. The bathroom was redone to fit her needs and she was able to do mostly all of the things one does in the bathroom, on her own. What always amazed me was the fact that she would get into the kitchen and still manage to cook full course meals. As a matter of fact, she tried so hard to hold on to her independence she somehow managed to spring her ankle. I still don’t know how that happened. The woman was in a chair for pity sakes!

Thanksgiving of 2006 she managed to cook an entire Thanksgiving meal and host our annual Thanksgiving at her house. Now you would think she would settle down and relax once everyone made it over, but not her. Instead of letting us cater to her, she attempted to stay in the mix of the Thanksgiving food frenzy, which lead to the catastrophe that knocked her back down to square one. You see, instead of allowing one of my sister’s to fix her a plate, she had to get all in the way. Well, long story short, she somehow turned on switch of her chair and run over her own damn foot; the bad one (which means she didn’t feel it until she FELT it). How the hell does that happen? If I hadn’t been there I would have excused one of my siblings of doing it (‘cause I be cynical like that). I was so pissed; mad at her for putting herself into a position to run over her foot and mad at my family for babying her. Of course I felt horrible the following week when we found out that she had actually broken the foot. This put her completely out of commission and it also stopped her from being able to attend the family cruise that I had planned and paid her portion of. To date she is just now getting back to the point where she can move from the bed and onto her wheel chair.

Now she spends the majority of her time watching television and playing spades and hearts on the Internet. I like that she plays these games because it keeps her mind active. Hell, I don’t do much more my damn self. She is so funny. There was a point when her and my little brother would get online, go into one of the Spades game rooms and play as partners. What was so funny would be that they would cheat. She would be yelling at him what cards to play and stuff. It was so funny. Then I would go home, find the room they were in and tell people they were in the same house cheating. I am such a hater. It makes me sad though. My mom use to be a very accomplished seamstress (I think I get my artist talents from her). This was something that she had to give up after the stroke. I am still amazed at some of the things she managed to do with her one good hand and I have tried, unsuccessfully, to get her to try her hand (no pun intended) at sewing again. I think she could do it and I think it would give her a great sense of accomplishment. I think she has fooled herself into thinking that this is something that she can never do again. I hate that. But what are you gonna do?

I will say this. If she were to decide to take back up sewing I’d be more than willing to buy her the sewing machine. They have this new one by “Brother” that threads itself. I am seriously contemplating buying the damn thing for her for Mother’s day. The problem is that the one I am talking about is hella expensive and I don’t want to waste money on something that she is not willing to give a try. So, how do you motivate a woman like my mom? LOL

-One Man's Opinion. Peace.

(Encase you have not figured it out yet, the picture is of a painting I did of my mom and deceased step-father. I call it African-American Gothic).

16 comments:

MP said...

I love me mother, as my nephew would say, real hard. In the past few years I have come to really appreciate her and she is simpy amazing. This post was really nice!

Oh and shame on you hating on on the Spades hustle! LOL

One Man’s Opinion said...

LOL. The Spades Hustle. You know God don;t like that. You done gone and made me smile. LOL

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Your mother sounds like a strong wonderful woman.


How you gonna hate on them during spade hustle. I like that MP. Lol

JayBee said...

it is clear that you are crazy about your mom. your mom has got to be careful though. we can't have her hurting herself. it's amazing that she is able to do so much after all that she's endured. i'm not surprised though. old pepople have that stubborn i'm-gonna-do-it-myself thing going on. love me some hot water cornbread. didn't know ya'll knew about that in texas. you do need to find a way to let your mom know that you love her. i'm sure she knows but it doesn't hurt to hear it and see it by word or deed. what room they play spades in? might have to go on and spank somebody.

Homer is My Co-pilot said...

see now you got me thinking about my mom. She also likes to sew and I don't know what she would do if she couldn't anymore. That sewing machine would be a nice gesture but I know they can get real expensive and it would be a shame to have it sitting in the corner unused.

Your stepfathers don kingish hair is classic lol

VertigoVirgo said...

My Mother is an exceptional seamstress herself, she made all her clothes in college...the funny thing is I have the design talent, yet have no patience for sewing. LOL...

As for getting your Mother sew, your Mom is simply afraid that she will not be as wonderful in this area as she was before...this is the case with all artists when they suffer a physical disability, it capsizes them and they are angry with themselves for being afflicted and not being able to accomplish that one thing,though the circumstance may have been completely out of their control. BUT, there have been artists over time who have suffered tremendous afflications and have come out on the other side of this trial accomplishing the greatests works of their life. Sometimes, silent motivation is the best way to deal with artists. I would purchase the machine, and maybe sit it in a room that she likes, not necessarily in direct eyeshot, but somewhere she can get to it easily and possibly play around on it. Let her know its there if/and or whenever she is ready, then leave it alone,she will have enough pressure from herself. She may never go back to it, but I believe it is worth a try. I haven't put pencil to paper in about a year or more...I haven't been through anything physically (thank the Lord) but emotionally...yes. I think about it everyday...sometimes I look at my pens and paper, or go through my portfolio...I think I'm close sketching again.

One Man’s Opinion said...

My mom can play some spades, JB, so don't even try it. She still cheats online though. LOL And we Texans invented Hotwater Cornbread...so don't play.

Homer, that is years and years of uncut hair. The man thought he was Samsom.

VV, I feel you. That is a very good idea, but I'm still not sure. I will say this...It is gonna piss me off to find out that you are an artist and not using your talents. Seriously. I understand for a short period of time, but anytime over 6 months is too damn long. Damn it!

cathouse teri said...

Well you could buy her the machine anyway. If it's spent on mom, it's never wasted money. And having it might motivate her. On the other hand, it might make her feel bad because it just reminds her of her helplessness. And it might make her feel like she's disappointing you in not using it.

I don't know your mom, but you do. I think you will make the right choice.

But I will say this. I never turn down mom or dad when they invite me over for any reason at all. They take precedence over anything else. I simply do not say no to them. (Don't tell them that, though. They don't know about this.)

dejanae said...

moms sounds likea great lady
get her that mamchine man

dejanae said...

oh nice painting too

JayBee said...

oh yeah, and when did u say we're gonna get to see the artwork from the book?

One Man’s Opinion said...

Jaybee, my scanner doesn't work, for some reason, otherwise I would be glad to share the picture that I am sending with my query letter.

Ieisha said...

Best Blog I've read today! Kudos to you for recognizing your love for your mom while she's still here to appreciate it.

I hope you wrote this blog AFTER you called her back to tell her how much you loved her.

I say, buy the machine. Once its there, she'll give it a whirl. From the sounds of it, your mom doesn't give up easily.

Mark D. Aster said...

Yeah, I'm with Ieisha. Just buy the damn thing. Matter of fact, surprise your moms (if you got access while she's away) and put in her house with some roses, etc. when she's not there.

Mizrepresent said...

You are a very talented artist, loved the pic! Kudos' for the love you show your mom...shows you will be/make a good man for someone.

Ms. Behaving said...

That's wassup!!!
[Gotta love a man that loves his mom...]

I think you should buy the sewing machine for her anyway...

[The smile it will likely put on her face will be priceless. :-)]