Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Not Down Memory Lane



More moments for Alzheimer Island. You know your mind is slowly deteriorating when you put your underwear on backwards. That’s right folks, there was not one, but two days that your boy put on his boxer shorts, backwards, and went to work. The sad part was that I didn’t even realize they were on backward until I went to take a leak and there was no hole to pull Mr. Winky through. Where was the damn hole? I’ll tell you were it was; behind me. I will say that Mr. Winky was nice in safe. No fear of him popping out that day. LOL

Moment number two. Who know you are losing it when you got to the fast food place. Order your meal, pay for it and leave. That’s right people, I was half way home before I realized something was missing. Forgot my food. When I got back I could see that they had been looking for my dumb ass. It was quit funny, and just a little bit disturbing.

Had a doctor’s appointment on a Wednesday. New it was on a Wednesday. Driving to the appointment, while talking to my big sister and telling her that I am on my way to a doctor’s appointment. Get to the doctor’s and check in at the front desk, five minutes early I might add.
“Good Morning, ma’am. My name is One Man and I have an appointment to see Dr. Who at 11am.”

Receptionist, after checking her files, “I’m sorry Mr. One Man, I don’t have a record you’re supposing to be here today.”

“Well, I have my appointment card showing that I am suppose to be here today and plus, someone from your office called me on Monday with a reminder.”

“Okay, Mr. One Man, can you have a seat while I check our records.”

So, I have a seat and go through my wallet in search of my little note recording my appointment date and time and find it, Wednesday @ 11am. My ass ain’t crazy, damn it. I know when my damn appointment was.

So, the receptionist comes back to the window and says, “Mr. One Man, you appointment isn’t until Wednesday.”

Puzzled look on my face. “Isn’t today Wednesday?”

“No, sir. Today is Tuesday.”

‘Nuff said.
I think I’m going to cry.
-One Man's Opinion. Peace.

29 comments:

rebecca said...

Flower In The Crannied Wall

Flower in the crannied wall,

I pluck you out of the crannies,

I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,

Little flower---but if I could understand

What you are, root and all, and all in all,

I should know what God and man is.

-----by Age Of Conan gold

The Jaded NYer said...

OH WOW!!! That last one was hilarious... how is it you're having one of "those" week's and it's on Wednesday?!?! lol

but no worries; it happens to all of us:

I had a big yellow post-it on my computer monitor to remind me to leave work early to pick up my daughter. come 4:30 my boss was like, "um... don't you have to pick up your daughter?" cause I'm still there, chillin, working, with the big ol yellow post-it staring me in the face!

*sigh*

deonte' k said...

LMAO. poor mr. one man. you sound like you were having a rough week. hope it gets better buddy. this blog post was too funny though lol.

Big O said...

The day of my prom..(some odd 10 years ago) I got the car and went to the gas station and did the exact thing($20 on 4)...paid and left..lol

naijalines said...

No you're not losing your mind. Stuff just happens. Call it the madness of our busy lives.

Hey someone had a baby in hospital. They wanted the crying baby to shut the hell up forgetting it was theirs! It wasn't me but it was such a good laugh reading that from another blogger.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lmao.. ginkgo biloba bruh ginkgo biloba

The Black Russian said...

lol haha lol... lmao.... this happens to the best of us....like Dave said ginkgo my brother ginkgo... or you can get an organizer and put all ur appointments and reminders in there... maybe a palm pilot or blackberry or plan 'ol paper organizer

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Been there done that with the draws except they were inside out.

Maybe it's all the hours you putting in at work that's making you lose your mind. lol

THARULA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
THARULA said...

I don't know about putting my drawers on backwards but i have paid for food and left many of times and showed up to appointments like a week before i was suppose to be there..lol

Don said...

I don't know if you meant this post to be funny, but it was funny as hell. Especially the one about forgetting your food. I swear, I've done the same. On the phone and pay for the food and no car is ahead, so I kept driving.

The other two examples I haven't experienced.

A.Smith said...

This is a residual effect from working all those hours.

Your brain needs a break.

But in the meantime it's supplying some awesome entertainment for me.

JACK said...

Was this post supposed to make me feel better about my week? I called the ex-wife today to verify the time of my son's soccer game so I can take him and be ON it. I had to leave a message. And then I had to call right back -- "my bad, today is Wednesday, not Thursday." I'm sure she's saving the messages and taking me to court again ....

anonymous1 said...

Dag. Can't really say anything else right here.

RealHustla said...

Don't crrrry. Just talk about it with your doctor.

I often leave the house with crafting tools stuck in my hair. Then I blame it on the children for letting me walk around ALL day like that without ever saying anything.

MP said...

i'm still laughing about you putting your underwear on backwards! and "mr. winky" is not a respectable name for a grown man's penis. Thanks!

Corey Keith said...

LOL.. I am glad I am not the only one.. and I think Mr. Winkie is cute!

Opinionated Diva said...

side eye @ underwear on backwards!!!

yeah...hmmmm...don't quite know what to say...all i can do is laugh LOL!!

Madam Z said...

I think Mr. Winkie made you put your drawers on backward. He wants his privacy!

And you forgot to pick up your "fast food" because it's so fast you thought you already ate it.

And so what if you you got your days mixed up? Think of it this way: You got there 24 hours and 5 minutes early. That gave you plenty of time to relax and read all 50 copies of old "Sports Illustrated" magazines before your appointment.

The one thing you better not EVER forget is to keep writing your entertaining blog posts. I always know where to go to get a chuckle.

Bangs and a Bun said...

Looks like someone's in need of some post-it notes, am organizer and some thread to sew your name in the back of your boxers (to make sure you put them on the right way!)

dejanae said...

its called 'old bag syndrome' lol

Cocoa Rican said...

Okay pa...I think I laughed so hard I peed...
First, how little is your ass that you didn't feel the ill fit and slit of your cheeks fighting to come through the crack? Second, I've become such a pig that I'm usually picking in the bag before the drive-thru chick returns with my change... so you're gettin' old...forgetful and your ass is flat as your crotch...time to post a nude pic...LOL

RunningMom said...

I'm not sure if I laughed more at your post or the hysterical comments....Jack & Cocoa Rican are on fiya'


Bwoohahahahaha

FREEDOM said...

Sounds like you need a VACTION! lol

FREEDOM said...

oops "VACATION":...SOUNDS LIKE I DO TOO (LAUGH SOME MORE!)

ViolentLove said...

oh dag. too funny.

MsPuddin said...

on the plus side, with your undies on backwards it would be easy for you to take a shit, no?

King's Kid said...

It is so funny cause we have all been there. Thanks for being hilariously truthful.

Peace

Jackie said...

Not to worry, hon. If you couldn't figure out why you couldn't get Mr. Winky out, then worry. You are fine.