Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Once Bitten

I think I got bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider sometime this week. For some reason, when I first saw it, I thought it was a ring worm. Now I am pretty sure that I got bitten. This sucks, because I Googled it and I really need to go to the doctor, but I’m afraid to go to the doctor, because we are getting ready to take my nephew to Sea World in San Antonio and I want every bit of my cash to spend on his little ass. Isn’t that horrible? I’ll probably lose this arm in San Antonio and traumatize him for the rest of his life. Or, it will make a heck of a story. How uncle One Man literally gave his left arm so I could have a great third birthday. Naw, I don’t think it’s worth the risk, so here is what I’m going to do. I’m going to wait until tomorrow; we don’t leave until Friday, and see if I can get a last minute visit with my Doctor.

I still can’t believe that I actually have a doctor. When we were growing up we had to the county hospital and waited in line for a life time to be seen. So, unless someone had been shot or stabbed, we rarely went to see a doctor. Oddly enough, when I was younger, people were getting shot and stabbed a lot in my family. Go figure.

Anyway, the little bite is really beginning to look horrible. It probably doesn’t help that I scratch the hell out of it. I almost took my knife to it, but I resisted the urge. I really don’t want this to ruin my trip to Sea World. I’m almost certain that I don’t need to get into swimming pools and stuff with it. Plus, the possible side effect are gonna suck like help, if they decide to rear their ugly head. I’m hoping that any side effects will happen before the end of today or early tomorrow so I can make time to see the damn doctor. I know. I know. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but I’m a guy. We hate doctors. I know that’s just an old stereotype, but I’m gonna live up to it.

Wow, this is a big change for the post I was going to do about the little gang banging punk that tried to give me attitude and I had to put his ass in jail. I was already to regale you good people with a story about what you don’t see prior to everything going bad. The untold story about the ass hole that sets the police off. There are so many misconceptions out there. If this was that kind of blog I’d be attempting to address them all. But fuck that! I got bit by a spider and the shit is irritating the hell out of me!

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

33 comments:

mp1 v.8.0 said...

that aint no damn stereotype. I'm like you. I gotta be damn near dead to consider going. I had food poisoning once with a fever of 103.9 and had to be dragged (literally) to the hospital. how's that

and you must be a great unc....giving ya left arm for a seaworld trip. you know you only trying to hold off b/c you dont wanna give the doc that loot. Keep it real.lol

MP said...

ummm... Go. To. The. Doctor. Please don't loose your arm... men! (smh) I'm the same way too when it comes to the dentist so I can't get on you! I like to kind of just let things work themself out. The body should have it's own healing mechanism right? Anyway, I hope all is well with your arm. I had a spider bite once. I have no idea what kind of spider it was. It happened when I was traveling in Agrentina. I thought it was a mosquito bite and I was scratching the hell out of it. One day I looked at it and I had this perfect rectangular patch of hot red inflammed skin on my leg. I thought I was going to die in a foreign land. I went to the hospital and they gave me cream. What kind of cream you ask? Creamy vaseline. It felt like the final nail in the coffin and I was just waiting for my leg to go numb turn green fall off and then have a flesh eating virus devour me. None of that happened. My body worked it out and i'm a live today to tell you... go to the doctor!

Mark D. Aster said...

All jokes aside, One Man, the brown recluse is one of the few potentially fatal insect bites in the U.S. I still suffer from health problems from lesser varmints encountered in the Middle East. Follow Kool Moe Dee's advice and go see the doctor ...

Gotta Let it Out said...

First off, I’d really appreciate if you’d take your ass to the doctor. Your unsuspecting nephew doesn’t want to make you his show and tell project. Your love for your nephew is outstanding, but I’m sure your arm doesn’t want to pay the price for said love. You’re on post 180… LOL…. ask me how I know? LOL. If I got bit by a spider I’m pretty sure I’d fall over and die. Just this past weekend one was on my boot and I accidentally burst into tears trying to shake the little badstard off. My niece was mortified. I told her it was attacking me. It was though.

James Tubman said...

doctor yourself homie

the cure to anything you need is in the internet

you don't need a doctor (con artist)

cathouse teri said...

Okay, well that was fun. Your post prompted me to go look up brown recluse bites. I think I'll throw up now.

You are crazy if you don't go to the doctor NOW.

My friend got a nasy bite from a black widow. It almost shut down her entire nervous system.

Took her weeks to get over it.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

I need you to go to the doctor. Damn an appointment go to the ER.

One Man’s Opinion said...

I love how much love my brothers and sisters of blog world show me. I put in a call into the doctor, because it was really beginning to look nasty as hell, especially in natural light. They gave me a 'scription. I asked if I could pick it up tomorrow and she said I would need to pick it up today. I'm so damn lazy. She also will not allow me to scratch it. Since it is a brown rec. Spider she says it will get worse before it gets better. Now, since I don't want a hole in my arm, have to stay in the hospital or sever tissue damage, I will be caring my happy ass up the street to pick up my pills, creams and condoms. Oh, not condoms. My mind kind of drifted for a moment there. My doctor would like to see me, if it doesn't get any better, on Friday. So, let's pray it gets better, because we will be headed to San Antonio. Nothing but death can keep me from it. Er, back that up.
Thanks for the show of love and concern.

dc_speaks said...

Mannnn..i hate being bitten by anything.

I gotcha pawtna!!

Gotta Let it Out said...

Good job...

Linda said...

Could you just..... not say such things? It's spider season around here.. we've got tons camping around the front door, waiting for us to open it.. I'm sure none of those actually bite.. but still.. THEY're spiders and I'M a woman. I rest my case ;)

I'm SO going to see Kung Fu panda, yeah.. have you seen it? Anything funny gets my vote! But first I want to see that dance movie.. what's the title? The way she move? something like that..

greetings from holland! :D

Curious said...

Okay, so you've finally gotten your ass to seek medical attention. Thank God. How much of you arm did you want them to amputate before you thought you might have a problem? Your next move should be to ask why black men in the US have the lowest life expectancy rate and why are they the least likely people to ask for medical help when they need it.

Ms Smack said...

After googling images of the results of a spider bite from this nasty, I can't believe you waited!

BUT very happy to hear that you finally sought medical attention.

Post pics! :)

Thanks for the lovely and warm comment on my blog, by the way.

xx

Shazza Nakim said...

I better not hear any weird stories of a MAN swinging from tall buildings in Texas fighting crime and leaving WEB DROPPINGS all over the place.

Desy said...

hahahaha- you are so funny sweetheart...

why was there no pic of this bite so that a medical person who follows your blog could help you out...lol... and how the hell did you know that it was THAT spider... ??

BabyGirlGa said...

One Man...sweetheart...Go to the doctor not tomorrow.... go YESTERDAY... seriously... I used to work for one of the big tobacco companies as an accountant.. I was helping with the monthend tobacco inventory count and got bit by one of those evil f-ing beasts on my calf... when I went to bed that night I thought I'd been bitten by an ant or mosquito.. it itched a bit and was a bump... applying my mother's home remedy support system I put som alcohol on it to clean it up & hopefully dry it up (cause Babygirlga got some sexy ass bump free legs to maintain for the boys in the factory ok?).. well good morning what do I see but a large dark ring worm looking area of skin with little bumps all over... home remedies be damned I am at the doctor's office before she even gets there... she tells me several employees from my factory have been in there over that month... later I find out one lady I know tried home remedies and tried to wait it out and ended up in hospital having the HOLE IN HER THIGH packed.. I thank God I went early and ended up with a minor scarring... which I've since had covered with the sexiest tribal tattoo... please go to the doctor... Disney World/Land will suck monkey nuts when you're ridind the fever and infection train.

Eb the Celeb said...

boy... if you dont take your arse to the damn doctor... you can die from those types of bites

Mark D. Aster said...

Well, I'm glad you were able to get medical help AND type with one hand. So we can now add blogging to your list of one-handed activities ...

Opinionated Diva said...

You sure it isn't just dry skin because you be walking (yes I typed "you be walking") around so ashy? Just wondered.

Go to the doctor. It will probably take less than five minutes for the exam, you'll get some cream (maybe even a lollipop too...if you don't cry) and you'll be all better.

Do it already.

VertigoVirgo said...

I'm lyin' here watchin' Martin...laughin' hysterically, but I SWEAR I'm so concerned about your arm!!! I'm glad you decided to call the Doctor, your health is very important, and I think your nephew would miss your arm more than anything because the hugs you give him just wouldn't be the same.

Have fun on your Vacation. ;)
Ciao'

One Man’s Opinion said...

Babygirl, you are sooooo funny. However you described what I went through to a “t”. They prescribed some big horse ass pills that I have to take twice a day and I got a cream for the itch (so that part of my arm isn’t ashy Ms. Smart ass opinionated diva). LOL

Wow, how cool would it be if I could do that, Shazza? Peter Parker’s happy ass was luckier than a bitch. I think I will try to jump off the roof in the morning, but considering that I almost feel off my sandals a few minutes ago, I’m thinking that the agility thing isn’t gonna be one of my powers.
Desy, I could have taken a picture, but I was too lazy. They told me that it will get worse before it gets better, so I’m thinking I’ll have plenty of opportunities to document it for you amusement. LOL. It’s nasty to look at, ask Babygirl. I’m glad I didn’t wait. Oh, and the reason I knew it had to be a spider bite is because I have seen one before and I Googled the shit. Google is the best thing in the whole world!
Anyway, so now I am cleaning my clutter filled house. I want to come home to a sparkling home but I need to destroy all spider webs. Little bitches. If I get bitten by another one, fuck an exterminator. I’m burning this bitch down. Or is that a bit extreme? I can never tell.
(One again, thanks for all the concern. I can’t wait for the blog family cruise, Desy is planning. It is gonna be so cool).
DAMN! Now all I can think about is having spider powers.

DreamCop08 said...

YOU TALK ABOUT ME BEING FUNNY WHEN I AM MAD BUT YOU ARE A TRUE MESS WHEN YOU ARENT. YOU HAD ME LAUGHING MY AZZ OFF

CRACKING UP AT CURIOUS THAT IS A FUNNY MAN.

AND WHY YOU DIDNT TAKE YOUR BLACK AZZJ TO THE DOCTOR BEFORE HAND ARE YOU CRAZY??? DAMN STUBBORN AZZ MEN ALWAYS THINKING THEY CAN WAIT SHYT OUT. BE DEAD SOMEWHERE, KEEP FUDGING AROUND.

HAPPY YOU GOT A LITTLE BIT OF SENSE AND WENT GET THAT PERSCRIPTION OLE SILLY MAN,LOL

I WAS CUTTING THE GRASS TODAY AND SEEN ONE COME OUT OF THE GRASS THE SIZE OF A SILVER DOLLAR. SCARED THE SHYT OUT OF ME. I AINT SEEN NO SHYT THAT DAMN BIG BEFORE. LORD I AM SO SCARED OF ANY KIND OF INSECT THAT CAN RUN FASTER THAN MY AZZ. *SHIVERING*

WANNA SCARE MY AZZ JUST PUT A INSECT IN FRONT OF ME AND WATCH ME BONK THE FUDGE OUT,LOL

ANYWAY I HOPE IT GETS BETTER, YOU NEED THAT ARM TO BEAT THEM STUPID M&FERS ON THE STREET DOWN WITH,LOL

DreamCop08 said...

OH AND ON THE REAL. MY CO-WORKER BOYFRIEND DAUGHTER GOT BIT BY SOMETHING AND HER WHOLE DAMN ARM SWELLED UP, TURNED BLACK, AND NOW SHE IS ABOUT TO LOSE SOME DAMN FINGERS.

SHE WAS JUST CHILLING OUTSIDE WHEN SHE FELT A STING. SEE THAT IS THE KIND OF SHYT I AM TALKING ABOUT. NO DISRESPECT TO GO BUT HE COULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT WASPS, SPIDER, AND ANYTHING THAT CAN CAUSE HARM LIKE WHAT BITE THAT GIRL. IT HAS ME SCARED TO GO OUTSIDE NOW, SHYT

One Man’s Opinion said...

Okay, on the real, I am very afraid of what could happen with my arm. I've done the research. I've seen the picture. This is not fun. I am hoping for a positve outcome, like Babygirls. I am glad I didn't wait until I got back from vacation. I am actually considering not going, period.

DreamCop08 said...

TAKE CARE OF YOU SWEETIE. I DEFINITELY DONT WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOU. SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE TAKING THE NECESSARY STEP AND YOU DEFINITELY NEED THAT ARM

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND I HOPE EVERYTHING GETS BETTER

Ieisha said...

Yeah, I'm a day late on the post but after scanning things over, it sounds like you went to the doc so that's def a plus.

Don't live up to the stereotypes. Eliminate them.

Glad to hear that you didn't let that stereotype get ya down.

Have fun in San Antonio!

Brittany said...

GO TO THE DAMN DOCTOR!!!! OMG! don't die on us now.

benjibopper said...

agree with honeysmack, i wanna see what this bite looks like. worse spider we have around here is daddy long legs, and they just tease your cats.

Autumn said...

I hope you're still alive One Man.

RealHustla said...

Please refer to paragraph one of your post. You already know what you have to do. @ james tubman: how you gonna post about the garden of the soul and then tell this brotha to go against what his soul is telling him to do?

Men, take care of yourselves! Because, refer to paragraph one of your post.

Stew said...

that shit seems serious. i think i would have gone to the doctor right when it started to look like a ring worm. those shits ain't cool either.

would have loved to heard the story about you locking up the young guy. i know you would have found a way to make it funny.

btw, your nephew would be in debt to you. you could really milk that.

Foia said...

Nasty spider bite..I hope all is well with that..

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Even tho Grandmomma-made stuff would do just fine, I hope you went to the doctors Mr Lookadisnigga.

Just so you know, after reading this entry, I got home yesterday and my daughter wasn't hogging my PC as usual. Big.hairy.spider. made its way through a crack near the patio door, near my desk. To let her tell it, it looked like a baby tarantula. *chills*

And now our asses are paranoid.

Moving stuff that wouldn't give me a hernia, vacuumed every inch of carpet (earthtone by the way), still wearing my combat boots...in short...ever so sexy.

Sleeping with the ugly bouffant thingy on my head with my ears covered so nothing crawls in them. Hair got in my face while I was sleeping...damn near gave myself a black eye, thinking something crawled on my face.

Thank.you.for.the.heebie jeebies.