Saturday, May 16, 2009

Questions for a Funeral


I am no longer on the streets good people, for those of you who do not know.  I now work in communications (dispatcher).  This week one of our ladies son commit suicide.  It was very tragic, as you can imagine.  Of course I believe that to be the case when anyone takes there life.  Suicide is an permanent answer to a temporary problem.  

At any rate today, when I got off work, I took a little nap, got up, dressed and went to the funeral service (Catholic).  Even thought it rained, it was a nice little gathering of people.  Not as many of her co-works as I would have imagined, but what do I know?

Anyway, I have some question for a funeral.  Ready?

Question one:  If you are at a funeral isn't it common sense to turn off your telephone?  I don't want to hear your blame it on the alcohol, ring tone during services.  

Question two:  I don't have a problem with people who bring their kids to funeral service however....Doesn't it make sense to take a crying baby out of the room during the ceremony?  Why would you keep a screaming child inside as a distraction?

Question three:  Who the hell drinks coffee at a funeral?  That's right....Coffee!  As I was standing in the cathedral there was a lady next to me that just keep drink her seven up coffee, from it's container.   What the hell?  I seriously wanted to knock the thing out of her hand.  Who does that?

Question four:  Why did the priest end up playing the song, "I get around", during the service.  At first I thought it was another cell phone going off, but no, it was coming from the pulpit.  So then I thought it was a musical tribute, when it continued to play for a good two minutes.  Then the priest apologizes and says he was looking for a song.  Seriously.  Can you believe that?

Question five:  Why is it that the when it was all said and done they could not get the front doors open and the line backed up as they were trying to get the casket out?  It was both said and comical at the same time.

Question six:  Why was the wife crying?  I was told that the reason he killed his self was because he had lost his job and his wife was cheating on him and asking for a divorce.  So why was she even there and better yet...Why was she outside yell for him not to leave her?  You were leaving him, damn it!

Anyway, that's about the size of it.  

-One Man's Opinion.  Peace.

19 comments:

RunningMom said...

#1: Yep, that's what vibrate or the off button is for...
#2: I HATE THAT!! We all know babies cry but we all don't have to hear it. Take the baby to the bathroom!
#3: lol, you THOUGHT it was coffee... it mighta been somethin' else from the flask.
#4: I have nothing..
#5: When stuff like that happens at funerals I always think it's the deceased playing jokes.
#6: Attention, their 15 minutes of fame, sympathy, etc.

Sorry to hear about your co-workers son, suicide is tragic and unnecessary. I've been touched by it twice.

One Man’s Opinion said...

I've been touched by it too.

The Dreamy One said...

Lmao at the priest and his choice of music!

And the wife needed to be shot dead!

Happy to see u back and are u staying in communications?

JACK said...

Interesting - funerals are funny like that. My family got a bottle of Bacardi stood outside the funeral home passing it aroudn in a brown paper bag. Asked me if I wanted any. Yuhhhh - but NO.

My aunt, hungover at the catholic church the next morning, refused to go up for communion because the priest would smell her and tell he she had hers already.

The music? My cousin's daughter played boys to men MAMA all loud in the funeral parlor. As in - brought in her own boombox, LOUD.

Suicide is tragic, though - yes. Iv'e been in some MESSES, ok? But I kinda like me too much to end it, you know? I don't know what kind of sorrow. *knock on wood*

Crowscious said...

I think suicide is the scariest thing.. when a person feels that they have absolutely NOTHING to live for. That said, I guess once you die ur just a body and no one really respects you anymore.

Mark D. Aster said...

I don't have anything to say on funerals, as you know I'm just a few weeks from my dad's passing.

I WILL say good choice of classic African-American art for illustrating this thread. Although Aaron Douglas is my personal artistic hero, Ellis Wilson's "Funeral Procession" has the same gravitas in African-American art as DaVinci or Michaelangelo in classical European art (plus you can always see it in the background in "The Cosby Show" reruns).

I'm forever grateful to Bill Hutson who was a visiting artist and professor at my college in the 80s for turning me on to Wilson and other great black artists (and he's a Texas bro like you, One Man, so this is my way of nudging yo' ass to keep pushing that pencil) ...

Curious said...

I don't think I can answer any of your questions. I think like you that there are certain things in life where ceremony and ritual are supposed to be important enough to make your arrangements for some ass for the evening before hand and not over cell phone in the middle of the service. Or if you are the priest in charge everything should go without a hitch so that the familiy isn't further traumatized.

I like the line,"Suicide is an permanent answer to a temporary problem." It's real pithy and succint except of course when you believe that you just being alive is the temporary problem then suicide doesn't seem so bad. And yes, I know of which I speak and I failed at that too.

BTW, dispatching? Is that because you are still bad with directions?

Jackie said...

Suicide is always tragic. But, I swear this funeral could be a sitcom episode. Isn't it strange, the tragedy and comedy of life.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Well, you know what they say, Jackie....You can't have a funeral with out the fun. Do they say that or did I just make that crap up?

JayBee said...

1. as much as i like that song in particular and don't mind hearing it, no, it's not appropriate at a funeral--or meetings or other ceremonies for that matter
2. that's why they have children's church and daycare
3. who the hell drinks anything at a funeral...i haven't seen that before
4. stranger things have happened
5. see number 4
6. despite the rockiness of their matrimony, there is on some level an attachment to someone you've spent so much time with, even if it has gone sour....she's entitled to grive

so...when did i miss you not being on the street? i know you mentioned having some issues, but i didn't know it had gone this far....i'll have to dig into the blogs i've missed to get the back story...take care

Linda said...

#3 - in Holland we all drink coffee (and eat cake) at funerals.. it's like a tradition or something. However, definately not until the casket's in the ground..

#6 - guilt? As in: "look what you done, biatch!"

Greetings from the netherlands ;)

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

#1 Yes it's common sense. I bet that person still didn't put it on silent

#2 I hate that. Sometimes I just want to get up and grab the baby and take him outside myself

#3 Never heard or seen such a thing

#4 LOL It took him 2 mins to realize that wasn't the right song

#5 Same as Running Mom

#6 She was feeling guilty

So are you going to tell the story of why you are no longer on the streets?

Sha Boogie said...

Question 4... *DEAD* I refuse it and rebuke it!! I get around at a funeral??? I can't..lol

Achilles said...

OMG I just attended a funeral this past Friday. And I had some questions. In fact I wanted to post about it, but I thought, ‘nah that’s not right’. I’m so glad you opened the door!

Ques 1 – There’s just no excuse.
Ques 2 – There was a toddler who was running up and down the aisle, that people were giving him and his young mother “the look”. What could anyone honestly expect as she kept going in and out of the chapel talking loudly on her cell phone until my cousin told her to either get off the phone or take it outside. (Needless to say, she didn’t give my cousin any lip!)
Ques 3 – I have to laugh, because my aunt stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee. But at least she didn’t go into the chapel with it. (Is that still ghetto?).
Ques 4 – That should have been prepared beforehand!
Ques 5 – Don’t know what to say about that one.
Ques 6 – She needs an open-hand slap in the mouth, ‘In Living Color’ style!

I wanted to bring up:
Now I know times are hard and not everyone can afford expensive clothes, but back in the day when people attended funerals, it was custom to wear a suit or at least a shirt and slacks (do people even say “slacks” anymore? Kids used to have at least one suit to wear (church, funerals, graduation, etc.). It’s like parents focus on the $69.99 Rock-A-Wear shirt and $89.99 Sean John jeans and let’s not get into the $$ for the sneakers, but won’t buy a good suit for about $50.

Anyway there was this chick there, had to be in her mid to late twenties. She was a big girl, but what stood out, was the fact she was wearing jeans a size too big with no belt and when she walked all you saw was crack. Everyone’s eyes in the chapel followed her as she took her seat. You mean to tell me there wasn’t anything else she could have put on…anything??

All in all I guess it’s a sign of the times. (Some) people just don’t hold the values of the previous generation.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Achilles, so funny. My fellow sergeant who also attended the funeral was talking about the people in jeans, tanks and do rags. I wore my uniform, so as to stand out, but even with that I wore a black tie. However, if I had not worn the uniform, I would have worn a suit.

Hadassah said...

I thought it was common sense never to bringkids to the fueral who do not have a relation or know the deceased.

i guess the wife was feeling guilty.

網站設計 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

網站設計 said...

Keep the faith, my Internet friend.

網頁設計 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!