Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Family, Gotta Love 'em






I am having so much fun hanging out with my family on my days off. This week I took Monday off so that I could have two good days with my family. I had scheduled to take my mom to the movies to see the Secret Life of Bees, but we had to reschedule for next Tuesday, so one of my other sisters can accompany us. We went to see Eagle Eye instead. It was a toss up between Eagle Eye and Lake View Terrace, but there was a brother outside the theater who said he thought we’d enjoy Eagle Eye better, so we went with his recommendation. My mom liked it, I thought it was okay. Next week, The Secret Life of Bees.

While going to the movies my mom clued me in on all the new drama going on in the family. Well, not exactly new. Just new to me, since I am always the last the know. It would seem that my eldest, big sister, the one who I wouldn’t loan the money too, is having trouble with her common law hubby of over twenty years. (Yeah, what else is new.) Well, apparently he is having an affair, that big sis knows about, and refuses to stop. This has lead big sis into contemplating leaving the bastard. My mom told my sister not to let anyone drive her away from her house. If anyone leaves it should be him. Whatever. I told my mom that I didn’t understand how it was that big sis could be casting stones when she, herself, has been cheating on the man for years. My mom’s answer to that was that big sis had been doing better and cutting back. LOL. I love my mom. She’s got her children’s backs.

Anyway, I wasn’t surprised by the fact that the bastard was having an affair (not that this use of bastard is not meant with love), but what my mom told me next kind of blew me away. The person that the bastard is having an affair with is his cousin. Now I don’t know if it is a first, second or third cousin and I don’t care. It is his cousin. Yall know that shit is just nasty. And it gets better. The apparently this affair has been going on for longer than I’ve been a police officer and I’ve been a cop for a little over ten years now. The kicker is that this affair is known by his mother, who I am told condones the affair and has let it take place in her house. This is a woman that I always thought my sister was close too, but apparently not as close as I thought. Oh, oh, and get this. Now his mother is about to lose her house to bankruptcy and they are also fighting about the possibility of her coming to live with them if this happens. (Just for the record, they already live right down the block from his mother to begin with. Literally less than a block away.)

Then I learnt more about my little brother’s affair with forty-one year old married woman. I am still trying to understand this one and am very disappointed in my little brother. My mom finally told me that she was going to kick my little brother out over this affair, because she didn’t raise him this way, but then she prayed about it and decided better of that decision. She is hoping that he will come to his senses. Well, the woman came over while I was there and I was able to confirm that it was the chick he was locked up in his bedroom with the night I brought over Little Leroy. I had to let my mom know that this woman is up in her house at night time as well. I had to ask my little sister if the woman had a job, because I don’t see how she is able to be over to the house during the daytime and night time hours. And how dumb is this chicks husband. I watched The Family That Preys and thought that there was no way that a husband could be that clueless of his wife’s infidelity, but I stand corrected. I was told that the man has been over to the house to help fix his son, ex-twenty-three year old cuddy buddy to my little sister. So, he is definitely aware of my family’s involvement in his family’s life.

Now, get this. My sister said that the woman tries to cook for the family. And yesterday, while I was over, they, meaning my little brother, the MLF (Mother’s we’d Like to Fuck), and her twenty-three year old son, was over cleaning up the backyard. I am talking racking up leaves, picking up debris, the works. Then they sat back there and smoked and drunk alcohol (something that we don’t normally do in my family). An wonders of all wonders. My big sis that I was talking about came over and joined them. Well, big sis, is ghetto hood and she will turn on your ass in a minute. It was around eight o’clock, and I was in the family room with little sis, when I heard yelling. I don’t know what was said, but the woman eventually went home. LOL.

I told little sis it was her fault for bringing that mess into the family. I jokingly asked her if she thought it was incest to be dating the son of her twin brother’s forty-one year old mistress. She let me know that she was not apart of that mess and was trying to get little brother out of it. She and I are still dumb founded by the fact that the twenty-three year old is not only okay with, but friends with the man his mother is cheating on his father with. WTF.

I still don’t know what she sees in my little brother. He will turn thirty on the third of November. And although he has a college degree, he ain’t doing shit with it. And, yesterday I had to tell his damn pant up from under his ass cheeks and remind him that he was about to be thirty and too old to be wearing his clothes like that.

Anyway, I still had fun. At around nine that night we finally reached an understanding to the game I bought over for us to play. Rummikub. It was hella fun and my little brother came in and played with me and mom. The little bastard won too. He makes me sick. He just has a knack for games. Drives me crazy. But I laughed so much. My mom thinks that she should get forever to play, but as soon as it was little brother’s time she was like, hurry up! It is so funny. And big sister came in to watch and instigate. It is like this with any game we play, other than spades or dominos.

I love my family. They even made me forget the drama going on at work, if only for a moment and time. I am going over there again today. My mom is biting on the bit for another game of Rummikub. I love her, but I’m gonna have to whoop her ass in some Rummikub.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

Isn’t it funny, about blogs I mean? In real life, I would never put my family’s dirty laundry out in the street like this, but in blog land I get to let it all blow free. I love you guys.

39 comments:

RealHustla said...

Blogworld is funny. You got their pictures up and errthang. Wow, your family is wrapped up in some mess. I'm concerned because this can't end well. Start off my trying to stop the relationship with your brother and the man's wife.

The Dreamy One said...

okay you didnt put labels on the family, so how are we to know which is which,lol

and which one is Manny moms. he is such a cutie1!!

Bangs and a Bun said...

Your family needs to have their own reality show - seriously! But yeah, I agree with realhustla - no doubt this is gonna end badly. I hope none of them get too hurt.

Joey Bahamas said...

"My mom’s answer to that was that big sis had been doing better and cutting back."-- Priceless!

JACK said...

Oh, I totally love your family! LMAO. When I was in college, among all these White folk, I learned a saying they have in upstate new york: "Incest is best. If you can't keep it in the pants, keep it in the family."

*shudders*

Whatever works for ya, I suppose.

But whatever you so, don't play truth or dare with them people, ok?

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

Which is little sis and which is big sis? Which is Manny's mom with his cute self.

I'm confused just reading this post.

blkbutterfly said...

"big sis had been doing better and cutting back"--- hilarious!

i was completely confused about who was related to whom. i almost felt the need to get out a piece of paper and sketch a family tree. :-)

RunningMom said...

That's a hot mess. WTF is really going on?

Your mom is too funny and waaaay too accomodating!

I haven't played Rummikub in a minute, that's a winter game for those of us in the North/Midwest.. only comes out when the temp drops below 50 degrees... along with the rest of the games.

Opinionated Diva said...

Just wow...is baby bro the one in the wife beater???

I felt like I was looking at one of those commercials. Just when you think you have all the details you hear, "but wait...there's more"!

That is some serious hotmess DRAMA!!!!

Desy said...

and we love you!

i'm going to refrain from fully commenting on this just cause i'mma need a little time to process all the insanity...lol
... BUT... my goodness, your nephew gets cuter and cuter....lol

Cocoa Rican said...

Harpo...who deez black folk? LOL
Great to see pics of the fam...although we quite liked the one of you smilin' even bettah! oh the love of family!

One Man’s Opinion said...

The one on top is the yonger sister (twin) and the mother of Manny. Tank Top is little brother (twin). Yes, he struck that serious look for the picture, because he is a ham.


Trust me people, I know this can not end world. Everyone knows that it can not end well, except my little brother. He ain't listen. My little sister says she is going to try talking to the mother, but I doubt if it will work. The woman's a hoe. LOL.

Yes, Manny is cute. All in denial and crap. What is going to happen is that the woman's husband is going to be over to the house and Manny is going to cutely say some to let the cat out of the bag.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

I'm just waiting for your book/movie about all this.

The Black Russian said...

I love a good soap opera... There are too many cooks in the kitchen and this will defiantly blow up... you really think your nephew will spill the beans?? outta the mouths of babes...

lyre said...

Yeah, I used to think I was anonymous on here until my daughter googled a phrase and found me. HA! We had a knock down drag out about my "Errant daughter" blog! I had to go private. LOL

dwashington314@gmail.com said...

Chile! Y'all crazee. I love it! Say what you will about us but Black people is funnee!

My mom is always complaining about my late fathers crazy ass family. I can't wait to show her this!

Take a deep breath, blog, relax.

And LAUGH!

Don't you dare let Thanksgiving go by without an update. Please tell me all of them are going to be together!

One Man’s Opinion said...

OH MY GOODNESS! It never even dawned on me that these people would try to spend Thanksgiving with my family, but you are right. That is what will happen. They will try to join us for our over forty year family tradition of Thanksgiving and Christmas together.

Thank you, Mr. Washington, for bringing that crap to my attention. I was just wondering about the surprise party my mom is plaining, because all of my siblings were born in November...but now.....

Mizrepresent said...

One MAN, i hear you...family drama is...what you said, but and yet we still love them!

Ieisha said...

I love your stories. Family is family is family. Yeah, they got a little mess going on but who's family doesn't?

You'll keep everything tight. You always do.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

fam looks great but dude is folul
dont let him make u act a fool folk

and have a great weekend ok

Sha Boogie said...

I was gonna by pass reading the blog, because I just wanted to ask why ery one look shiny and hot except for the baby, LOL!

This is why I blog! (your comment..) to talk ALL the shit I want and not feel bad :) Because no one knows!

dwashington314@gmail.com said...

I linked your blog to mine. I kept getting the story all mixed up and my sister was getting all pissed so I was like, "let him explain it the people"!

I CAN NOT believe you didn't see Thanksgiving on the horizon!

LOL!

I would love to be there, fix me a plate, pour me some Jack and diet Coke and just watch the show.

My family is way too bourgie to have anything interesting happen.

clnmike said...

Man this is better that the soaps.

Cherish said...

okay so there is more going on here than i could comprehend in one sitting. I thought I had drama. Ypur brother and the old chic is a whole heap of mess

KC said...

wow, I have missed reading your blog. It is always a blast to know that my family is not the only family that stays tripping! You gotta love em though...like Jill Scott says, "what can you say, it's family". Love it!

Ms Smack said...

I love the way you talk about your family! :)

FREEDOM said...

Hey One Man...thank you for your love and your support. You are Definitely part of my FAMILY. (hugs and kisses)

u just gotta LOVE family no matter what lol!

Mark D. Aster said...

It never even dawned on me that these people would try to spend Thanksgiving with my family, but you are right.

You're a better man than me, One Man, as I usually want to get AWAY from my ghetto-assed relatives at holiday time, not CLOSER to them!

I have no problem losing folks' phone number, especially around holidays, blood or not. Of course, I always get those soft-hearted brothers and sisters that repeat that stale old cliche, "Blood is thicker than water."

To which I reply, "Ketchup is thicker than both ..."

Sadly, I wish Jennifer Hudson's family had learned to cut off toxic n*ggas from their lives, before it was too late.

FREEDOM said...

@Mark I said love them. not that you have to hang around them or like their ways...

but love is different. so times you gotta love from a distancebut that is still your family!

Darius T. Williams said...

LOL - yup, in blog world you can do things you can't do in real life. But to be honest, your family sounds just like every other family.

cathouse teri said...

I couldn't read this whole post. Just couldn't take it. :)

I did see The Secret Life of Bees while I was in Utah, visiting family. I'd love to compare notes after you see it. (You did read the book, right?)

dwashington314@gmail.com said...

Uh hellooooo?

Update?

I know this lng has not gone by with nothing happening!

I CAN'T WAIT TILL THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING!

A little something for the people?

You have no idea how many of my friends are dying to know what's up with "The FUSSXTABLES"!

Mark D. Aster said...

but love is different. so times you gotta love from a distancebut that is still your family!

Freedom, you obviously are a sister with a big heart.

And I hope you have a big home, because now I'm going to ship all my unwanted relatives and family to you! (LOL)

UBERMOUTH said...

I laughed so hard at your mum's'..she doing much better and cutting back..' on her cheating.
I LOVE mummy!

UBERMOUTH said...

Hey! There's no pic of Mummy!!!
WE WANT TO SEE MUMMY!

UBERMOUTH said...

AND YOU!!!!

Brothers Blog said...

Man you gotta love family drama don't you? I mean stuff like this you can't even make up. It's better than fiction as they say. But hell we all got our family drama doesn't matter who you are. You seem to be handling it well though.

~Kahlua~ said...

This family drama of yours is better than any Tyler Perry movie could EVER be! Too funny! Can't wait for the next installment...love your blog!

~Kahlua~

Madam Z said...

Okay, your family has finally outdone my family. You can tell them they can slow down now.

Your nephew is cuter than my nephews too.