Monday, December 15, 2008

I Love My Tom Tom


Okay, I am officially done with my Christmas shopping. Lap top for my mom, cash for the siblings, as well as the nieces and nephews, gift cards for a few friends, a Dallas Cowboy afghan for Sgt. Lupe, a customized picture book for my Aunt, Digital Camera, MP3 like DVD player and Tom the Train, Train Set for Manny’s little ass and a Tom Tom for me. That’s right, I know it is not in true spirit of giving, but it was a good deal and I had to get it, cause my ass is always getting lost. Did I tell yall I got lost leaving my cousins house on Thanksgiving? How the hell you gonna get lost leaving the damn place? I mean, I can understand getting lost going, which I did, but leaving….that shit is just ludicrous.

I used it first thing when I got it Wednesday. I opened that bad boy up, turned it on and it was ready to go. I was thinking I was going to have to download some maps and a cd and shit, but nope. It came on and already knew my act location; which was over my mom’s house. (Yall, know I am making a habit of giving my family one of my two days off, right?) So, while I was over my mom I did some basic customizing to my Tom Tom. I programmed in my name and address, so if it gets stolen the thieves will know how to get to my house and return it to me. I programmed in the type of voice I wanted it to speak to me in, a nice little British woman. I programmed it to tell me is I was going over the speed limit. Yeah, the joker knows the speed limit on most major streets and will let me know, with a signal of my choosing, if I go over said limit. (I set it to let me know if I went ten miles over and you know that shit is always going off, right. LOL). I even set it to go off if I pass by a church. I have no idea why I did this, but it asked me if I wanted to and I said yes. Then I just played with some of the little features. That joker will pinpoint any gas stations, hospitals, churches, restaurants, hotels and much more that are closest to me.

The title says it all. I love my Tom Tom. I don’t be listening to it though. For instance, I set it up to guide me to the Italian restaurant that my friends and I went to this weekend, to celebrate the Holiday together. Well, yall know as well as I do that these things don’t always give you the most expeditious route, so I ignore it first bit of instructional advise, because I know the quickest way to get there, I just need it to guide me when I am in the area. It so funny, the little lady is like, “At the next quarter mile, turn left.” I go right, so she tries to get me back on track. “Right exit coming up, at the next quarter mile, turn right.” I keep straight. Eventually it decides that I am too far off to go the route it had originally chosen for me, so it recalibrates a new route. Then I ran into traffic and trying to avoid the shit, I got turned around and had to listen to the bitch, because I got lost. LOL. In my mind I was thinking that my Tom-Tom was like, “So, now yo bitch as wanna listen to me.”

Wouldn’t it be great if they game out with a ghetto version of Tom Tom? They could call the shit June Bug. June Bug would get you there, but he’d get yo ass there with an attitude. I imagine the trip to go like this. “Yo, man, you gonna want to take the next right.” I go straight. “Yo, man, did you not hear my ass say take that right. That’s alright, fuck it. Okay, okay, you gonna have to make this left up ahead to get back on track.” I go straight. “What the fuck! Man, what the fuck you buy me for if you ain’t gonna listen? Damn, I hate when you niggah buy my ass and you probably stole me in the first place. Bitch ass!”

Anyway, I had fun with my friends, took some pictures and stuff. Then decided to go over to my mom’s, which was good, because I got some good shots of Manny and my little brother and sister trimming the tree. How come me and my sister both yelled at Manny because he was putting all the candy canes on one side of the tree? He got over it once he relieved if he broke one he got to eat it.

Anyway, I know I am way behind on my blog reading and I apologize. I will try to catch up tomorrow, on my day off. I will also try to do at least one more post before the Christmas, but just encase I don’t, Merry Christmas, or whatever Holiday you celebrate, to all of you wonderful people all over the world.
-One Man's Opinion. Peace.

29 comments:

Mark D. Aster said...

Forget Christmas. From now on, I'm celebrating December 14. It's a very Sole-ful Holiday (LOL). On this day, good little boys and girls will be given shoes to throw at the Republican of their choice.

Celebrants then eat baklava and tell as many bad jokes about Bush as possible.

"You really don't know Iraqis until you've walked a mile in their shoes (*SNARE*) Guess the Arabs have finally given us the boot (*SNARE*) The Iraqis refuse to TOE the line (*SNARE*) W.E.B. DuBois's new book is called "The Soles of Black Foot" (*SNARE*) ..."

One Man’s Opinion said...

Mark, you know damn well you need help.

clnmike said...

Lol, I didnt think the Tom Tom was that useful.

RunningMom said...

lol @ June Bug navigation. Hil-ar-ious!

I just got a Magellen... I haven't had much chance to use it, but I am sure it will come in handy in the future.

:)

Merry Christmas to you too!

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood said...

I absolutely love my GPS. It's great, although I don't use it frequently. But, when I do drive it's a must. I enjoy your blog. Stay up!

Linda said...

Tell me when you get that thing invented.. I'll be the first to buy one!

We're still printing out descriptions when we're trying to get somewhere.. REALLY annoying when there's a roadblock or something....

But really.. I can't stand that silly tomtom voice.. so really.. tell me when you get your version done! ;)

greetings from the netherlands!

Curious said...

Tell me something, now you don't do patrols in your car do you? Or if you do, when they call out that an officer needs an assist at Main and Such & Such, it's not you that they are calling is it? If I was attacked in the middle of downtown and you got the call, would I see you before the day was out? This is the reason you stay behind that desk most of the day isn't it, because you get lost easily?

Name's YandB Mr. DL if you NASTY said...

Curious...that is exactly what I was thinking! LMAO

I guess this is what I get for assuming, but I pretty much thought most police officers knew their cities pretty well and where great with directions and getting to a certain place stat or whatever, I mean I don't know if you patrol or not, but when you did, did you have a partner who did most of the driving?

I personally need a navigational system bad, I never know how to get anywhere. I've gotten better over the years, but I still can get lost in a heartbeat.

Here's what I don't understand...Why in the world would you program it to go off everytime you past a church?

I don't know about where you live, but me...churches are popping up everywhere. There is this road not to far from me...that has no joke 5churches in a 1 mile stretch, and I'm not talking about some little small churches either, I'm talking about baby mega churches, and at least 3 have "New" in the title.

Where I live that damn TomTom would be going off very 3 minutes!

Mark D. Aster said...

In One Man (and other cops' defense), who remembers every single street in their city? But technology is a great thing. Just think: If cops in 1991 had today's technology, they could have found Rodney King quicker and beat him twice as hard in half the time! EFFICIENCY!

I learned in the military what SENDS a signal, can GIVE a signal. Just ask the Serbs that shot down our "Stealth" bombers with cheap cell phone triangulation.

If you ever get married, One Man, that GPS shit will hurt a brutha! How you supposed to creep if she can track yo azz on Google Maps?!?!!?!? Hmmm, a new reality show: CHEATERS-GPS Special Edition.

Darius T. Williams said...

Yea, you're behind on reading blogs - but it's cool - lol. And, I bought this dude I was dating last year one of those same GPS systems...he loved it! Glad you're enjoying yours.

A.Smith said...

You know you had me dying at your imitation of June Bug... and you are so right, that is JUST how it would go down...

One Man’s Opinion said...

Curious, I have always be directionally challeged. Just because I became a cop did not change that, so yeah, if you were getting your ass beat on a street that I did not know you would still be getting you ass beat. When I catch people in the act of committing a crime, on a street I was not familuar with, I am proud and I say, "Man, if I know my way around I'd be dangerous."

Yeap, don't let the uniform fool you. I am not the cop you want to ask directions from, because I will get your ass super lost.

All that being said, even being directionally challeged, I was still more often than not the first man on the scene when a call came out. Because I am a dedicated motherfucker, when it comes to seeing justice served. Yeah, I said it!

One Man’s Opinion said...

Mark, you know you need help! I'm gonna use my Tom Tom to find yo ass.

RealHustla said...

I needs me a gift giving uncle. Will you be mine. Is Manny even 3 yet? What he need a digital camera for?

Give yourself a test. Listen to the Tom Tom for one month straight and see how you like it. Just try it okay?

Pajnstl said...

Merry Christmas to you, and thank you for the comment on my blog :)

I can't find a way to justify a gps since i got this cell phone. I'm a gadget lover.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

my favorite past time with Tom Tom is trying to beat it's ETA. Like if it says I will get somewhere at 3:30 I try and get there at 3:25... lol

JACK said...

I have NO idea what a Tom Tom is. I have a pretty good sense of direction and the navigation system on my cell phone is just enough to help me. It found me the nearest supercuts the other day. I look dashing ... *poses*

But I would love to program the June Bug. "Nigga, if you ain't gon' listen, I ain't gon help" *shut down*

Nicole said...

haha june bug is too funny..

blkbutterfly said...

I definitely need a GPS system. i get lost easily. i'm just like you and have gotten lost on the way to AND from a location. it is completely ridiculous. i'll def. have to look into the Tom Tom. oh, and i cracked up at June Bug. you're hilarious!

Ms Smack said...

You're such a lovely and generous family member! Your gifts are thoughtful and lovely. I'm sure they'd be delighted!

Have a lovely safe and warm Christmas.

x

Bangs and a Bun said...

I'm trying to imagine 'now yo bitch ass wanna listen to me' with a British accent. Haha.

Merry Christmas One Man - have a good one. xx

lyre said...

I had an experience with GPS too! We used it to get to my son's graduation form college. My oldest son bought it for his girlfriend who is constantly getting lost, but I doubt she'll get it . He loves it to much. Pawn shop, 80 bucks!

Bullet said...

I was going to get a Tom Tom or one of the window mounted navigational systems, but I now use the GPS on the cell phone. It works great. Plus I need it if Im reported missing.

Ms. Lovely said...

lmao@Junebug. I contemplated buying one but i'll wait till I can buy a new car..My lil jalopy aint fly enough for a Tom Tom

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

I want a GPS system but like Ms Lovely I'll wait till I get a new car. Till then I will use the one on my phone.

Eb the Celeb said...

Dont you want to send that Dallas Cowboy afhgan to me instead...lol

The F$%K it List said...

I have a navigation system in my truck, and I love it. However my husband never listens to it. So he might need Junebug, but with the shutdown mode Jack suggested.

Cocoa Rican said...

I want a Tom Tom! LOL
After reading your post, I'm gonna need the ghetto version pa!

FREEDOM said...

One Man...my mom brought my paw paw (step-dad) lol one for Christmas. She couldn't wait until Christmas to give it to him lol...

Yes MARK is crazy lmaof....