Sunday, January 18, 2009

Ethnic Mr. and Mrs. Smith


Here is just a small example of the stupidity that officers have to deal with on a daily basis, out in the field. Okay, so yesterday was a very busy night for us, people were off the chain. I don’t know what was up. Anyway, so I get called out, as a supervisor, to this house where an aggravated assault has occurred. The wife has allegedly shot the husband in the leg. Here is the story:

Husband and wife are in their bedroom, watching television and eating on some hot wings. Husband and wife get into a verbal argument (I don’t know what about). Whatever the argument was about it leads to the wife grabbing her gun, which she keeps under her side of the mattress. Well, not to be undone, hubby goes for his gun, which he keeps under his side of the mattress. That’s right, people. His and her guns. Can you believe that crazy shit. But that ain’t all, they also keep an extra gun and a shot gun in the bedroom; just encase. WOW!

Anyway, sometime during the argument, and this is how the story was told to me, the husband tells the wife that she shot him in the leg. No, joke. Wife doesn’t believe husband so husband leaves the house and drives his ass to the hospital. Well, of course, if you come to the hospital with a gun wound the personnel is obligated to call the police out to find out what the hell happened to you. Yeap, that is how we end up at the happy couples household, because neither husband or wife called the police to report this shit.

Oh, but it gets better. Wife swears up and down that she didn’t even realize that she had fired the gun. What? Are you kidding me? How the hell do you not realize that you shot the gun (and we are talking about a .357 here, people). How do you not hear that shit go off. Better yet, how do you not feel the recoil of the damn thing.

Anyway, Physical evidence is called out to process the scene. Wifey is taken down for questioning and is later transported down to our jail on charges of Family Violence, Agg. Assault. But don’t worry, folk, there is no doubt in my mine that the hubby will not press charges and the two will be back together, playing wild, wild, west again.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

27 comments:

Darius T. Williams said...

First!

Darius T. Williams said...

Wow - sorry you have to deal with this. BUT you do know that this is why they pay you the big bucks, right?

RunningMom said...

lol @ his & her guns and got an extra 2 for spares.

shenanigans!

Joey Bahamas said...

That is funny shit!!!!!!!! Were all of those guns licensed???

JB

clnmike said...

LMAO!!

I am glad i never joined the force.

But you should have enough material to write your own TV show.

Jarrai said...

lol! what a couple..a match made in heaven.

Ieisha said...

Love the title! It's very fitting though.

TX doesn't press the charges in lieu of the husband? MI will press the charges even if the other party doesn't want to. They don't play when it comes to domestic cases.

Ms Smack said...

You have the best work-relate stories ever!

Bullet said...

I dont know about this one, when that adrenaline gets to pumping you forget somethings. Although a .357 has a powerful punch and under those conditions a person would still know when the gun is discharged. What did the leg look like?

Super Dave Van Buren said...

lol.. that's black love.

Madam Z said...

There's never a dull moment in the life of One Man. You really should write a book. I'll be first in line to buy an autographed copy!

Debo Blue said...

Ahhh. The couple that shoots together, stays together.

Watch, in five or six years a report will pass over your desk with this couple's information but not it's because their children had an argument and started shooting at each other!

I'll put money on it!

Linda said...

*LOL*!!!!! See, that's why I'm all for legalizing guns.. how else are you going to get fun stories like these?

I'm just laughing at the hot wings though..

greetings from holland ;)

Ms Smack said...

The hot wings was a very funny visual, i agree with your Dutch reader! HAHAHA

cathouse teri said...

Too bad we can't just shoot both of them. Put us all out of their misery!

Desy said...

woooooooooowwww

the didn't realize bullshit is just too much for me

honestly, were the smoking before all of this happen, because maybe the shit they were puffin on took them somewhere for a minute

the insanity of law enforcement

Son of a Bishop said...

That story reminds me of the "In Living Color" skit with David Allen Greer and Kim Wayans who played the old couple who hated each other and always tried to kill the other but they had a public face stating:
"We Are Stilllllll Together!" LOL

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

damn u need to write abook, iu know i keep saying this but u do

UBERMOUTH said...

Some husbands bring that on themselves. Trust me. I have been married....and if I had,had a gun, I would have aimed higher. :)

Hadassah said...

For real???

Jewelry Rockstar said...

Hehehehe!

Dana said...

OK...thats some Ike & Tina ish. too funny, I see chicken juice flying and nukkas haulin ass. New to your blog!

Mr. Jones said...

This was actually really funny.

Sha Boogie said...

dang. that's a good idea.. i need to get a gun! lol

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

I could have sworn I commented on this post.

-eve- said...

Oh, this is a wonderful story! ROTFL!

Rodney said...

This couple could easily be my grandparents. One day I have to write about how he broke her arm and she blinded him in one eye during their 30th year of marriage. They remained together until he passed away 28 years later. To this day, though suffering from Alzheimers, she sleeps with a weapon nearby.