Did I See What I Saw?

Have you ever accidentally caught someone doing something that they you wish you would not have seen? Something that traumatized you so that you know it will be a minute before you can ever look at that person again the same way. You know, like walking in on your parents having sex. I remember when I was little and walked in on my mom and step-father having sex. Thank God I was to naive to actually know what was going on until my step-father threw the shit in my face (I've told this story). Other than that, I don't think I have ever really walked in on anyone doing anything unusual or that was meant to be done behind close door. Oh, wait a minute. When I was in the first grade and we lived in a one bath room house, i walked in on my oldest sister trying to pee standing up. LOL. True story.

Now, I do remember when I was in high school and having someone catching me masturbating. How embarrassing is that? It was my own fault, because who the hell masturbates in the back of a newspaper truck, while delivering papers? In my own defense, I was young and had just discovered the joys of masturbation. Too much information, I know. LOL. Anyway, thank goodness soon after the guy stopped going to our church. LOL. This is a horrible story....moving right along.

Anyway, the other day at work I saw my co-worker doing something that I wish I hadn't. The one thing I know for sure she was doing and the other I am not one hundred on. Which is why I posted the above picture, to show that looks can be deceiving).

Okay, so on my Friday, it was just me and Sgt. Raven working. Sgt. Raven is this cocky little white girl, who just promoted to sergeant about six months ago. I like Sgt. Raven, although she is a bit of a snake, so I keep her at arms link. When she was promoted they sent her directly to Communications (dispatch), which is where Sgt. Lupe and myself were sent when our deal made the papers (Still not ready to share the story until it is all over).

In the dispatch room they have set up two work stations for the supervisors. Each work station consist of six terminals. Three to monitors calls, officers and stuff. Once to listen to the radio, if we have too and one to get on-line, check mail and stuff. Now, the last terminal I spoke about is set up in such away that they are on the right of the main terminals. Which means, if I am setting at the first work station my back partially too Sgt. Raven, if I am playing on the computer. Where as, she is pointed more towards me, if she is playing on her terminal. Got it? Sort of?

Okay, so its a slow night and I have spent the majority of the night watching old Degrassi Junior High shows, on YouTube (keep your comments to yourself). About six hours into our shift I turn my head say something to Sgt. Raven and what do I see. The woman has her right hand down her pants! DOWN HER PANTS! (Past the wrist). Do you realize how hard it is to get your hand down the front of you pants, while wearing a gun belt and an under belt? (The under belt is use to aid in holding up the gun belt.) What the Hell? I am addressing her, as I turn my head, so she tries to snatch (no pun intended) her hand out, before I can catch her. Too, late.

So, gentleman that I am, I play like I didn't just bare witness to this shit and say whatever it was I had to say to her in the first place. Then I turn my head back towards my show. As I am turning my attention back to Degrassi I see, out of the corner of my eye, the chick take a swiff of her fingers. SAY WHAT?

Okay, so I am not for sure that she was smelling her fingers but let me just say this. She played the same hand that she had in her pants, under her nose, and didn't even have the decency to play like she had an itch or a booger or something.

WOW! Who does that? Seriously, can someone please explain that mess to me. I couldn't have been an itch, because she could have scratched without going inside the waistband and if it was that serious, she could have just went to the ladies room. I pray her ass was not playing with herself, because that's just wrong. We are out in the open, people. We are not talking about individual offices her.

So, anyway, I am in shock. I have been traumatized. Am I over reacting. Is this normal female behavior that I have just never noticed before?

-One Man's Opinion. Peace.

Rest In Peace

I know it's been a while and I have been hopefully laxed in my blogging, but I promise you that I am still here. I also promise that as soon as the ordeal that lead me to be being taken off the street is complete, I will share the story with you. Until then.......DID YA'LL KNOW THAT MICHAEL JACKSON DIED? No, seriously, the brother passed a way. Yeah, I know, I'm still in shock my damn self.

So, anyway, I was thinking about it and I decided that any artist, worth his salt, would do some type of drawing of Michael Jackson. Now, besides cartoon illustrations, I have not completed anything artsy in over two years. I know, I know....Shame on me. But, anyway, I decided that it was important that I, as an artist, did at least one take on The Moon Walker himself. Above is my version of him.

It is done on a medium call Scratch board. What scratch board is, as I understand it, is a black board that you use a tool to sketch off the the black to find the silhouette. I came across this medium, completely by accident, a few years back while I was in Atlanta. I was hooked. And for a quick while there I was doing cool little drawing using it, but then I got bored with it. Like I normally do.

Anyway, this is my take on the very familiar image of the Michael Jackson; "Moonwalk". And yes, damn it, I know that this is not the Moonwalk, but this is the toe move he does at the end of it and the image from the Moonwalk thing he did. So, there!

Anyway, just thought I'd share.

-One Man's Opinion. Peace.

What Was I Thinking?

WE'RE BACK!

What the hell was I thinking; taking a four year old little boy to Disney world-for a week, mind you-all on my own?  Obviously I wasn't.   Well, we left the first Tuesday of this month and got back last Tuesday and I used all of yesterday to recoup from the whole damn experience.  It was so nice to take naps again.  My old ass needs my naps, damn it.  

For does of you not in the know, I had this great idea to take my little nephew, Manny, to Disney world for a week to celebrate his fourth birthday.  It seems like a good idea at the time.  Me and my nephew, alone at the happiest place on earth, bonding and growing closer...What a rip.  What does bastards at Disney don't show you is how taxing it is on the body to fight to crowds and having to constantly say no, and don't and shut the fuck up.  Okay, maybe not shut the fuck up, but I thought it.  My little nephew can TALK.  LOL.  

Day one: we land, get our room and head off to Magic Kingdom.  By the time we got back my ass was ready to come home.  

Day two:  we meet up with a family we met on the plane.  This made life a lot easier, because Manny had two kids to interact with and I had a host of five adults to share the wealth of his attention with.  So great.  I was still ready to come home by the end of the day.  It was at this point that I truly realized that the trip was a bad idea.  Not the taking Manny to Disneyland part, but the taking him alone part.  Yeah, worst idea ever.

Day three:  I take him to the water park, because all he really wants to do is play in the pool.  Come to find out that the water park is not one of the theme parks that was included in our deal.  No big deal.  I love my nephew and this will be fun for him.  Pay the big bucks to get into the damn thing and the boy acts like he is afraid to get wet.  So, we stay there for an hour at best, until I get frustrated with him and ask him if he wants to just leave.  He says yes, off we go to catch the bus back to the resort.  We get to the resort and as we are passing the pool to get to our room his ass ask if we can go swimming.  Uh, no.  We take a nap and then go to see UP (very good movie, by the way) and eat at Planet Hollywood. 

As the days pass by, it gets better and better, but I am still counting down the days till we can fly back to Dallas and I can drop him back off with his mommy.  LOL.  The boy wore me out, but in a good way.  I love my nephew to death.  He is so smart and so much like his Granny, I had no idea.  He really is a little angel.  Not bad at all, just a handful; which is par for the course with any four year old, be they male or female.  

I had to scold him a few times, but that comes with the package.  But I never had to yell or raise my hand to him (although I had to ask him if he need a spanking a couple of times).  The boy made me laugh way to much and to be more than three times his age I was proud I was able to keep up with him.  Manny's uncle is a home body and having to get up and go everyday is not part of his makeup.  

So, what did I learn from the whole experience?  Well, I learned just how much I love my nephew and he loves me.  I learned that I might not be doing this every year on his birthdays and if I do, to take another adult to hear bare the brunt of the it.  I learned just how smart my nephew is and that his intellect is not being pushed to its fullness.  I learned that my nephew is a crowd pleaser (everyone just fell in love with him).  I learned just how good a job I think my sister is doing with my little nephew.  He is very well behaved.  I learned a lot about his little personality.  He might pretend to be shy, but his ass ain't.  He is quick to let you know if you have done something that he does not approve of (stranger in particular).   I learned that Disney World would be the bomb, if it wasn't for all the damn people and their kids.  LOL

Oh, and the Pop Century is a very cool resort to stay at.  We had a ball, even though I had to take a day to recover from the experience.

-One Man's Opinion.  Peace.

Oh, and just for the record.  To see the smile on my nephew's face, when he meet Mickey Mouse, made the whole experience worth while, and I mean that.  

Lassie Go Home

Okay, so I'm thinking that my auncle is planning on stayind down here. There was already a vibe that this was playing in her mind within the first week of her being here, but kow I know it for sure. She called me yesterday calling herself scolding me for not returning her phone call last week. We I don't return phone calls, unless it is an emergency, especially if you are someone I plan on seeing within the next week or two. That is just how I roll.

At any rate she called me, on my cell (and I have told my mom to stop giving people my damn phone number). She is all exctied and telling me about this house they her and my little sister found that is close by my mom and how it is the perfect house and asking if I think they will approve her for the house and crap. She is going so fast that it's like she started at the end of the conversation, so when she ask my opinion I don't have the slightest idea of what she is talking about. So, she starts over, all exasperated and shit. Whatever, I need your ass to start at the beging because I don't have the slightest idea of what you are talking about.

In a nut shell she wants me to go look at the house with her on Wednesday, which I have already explained to her is mother movie day. Plus she is coming into some money, so she says, on the first and she is wondering if whoever is renting the house will let her move in with the five hundred dollars down payment.....What the fuck? How the hell am I suppose to know this?

In all honesty I think she was trying to work up the nerve to ask to borrow the five hundrd dollars for the down payment on the house. C'mon yall, I ain't new. I know when someone is working their way up to asking for something. So apparently she didn't get the memo. Nephew One Man don't lead money, bitch. (I'm sorry....I meant auntie.) Hell, I want even lend my momma money. You better ask somebody. Don't get me wrong, if my mom ask for money, I will give it to her (within reason), but if she ask to borrow it the answer is no, because I know she want pay it back and I know I want ask for it back so I just cut threw the chrade and give the damn money to her. Other than that, NO. And I especially don't lend out money to people with no reconizable source of income. Bitch, you don't got no job. (plus, next week is Uncle and Manny week at Disney World!)

Beside, I don't want her to move down her. She is freaking me out. I love her to death, but she is strange, plus I don't like her around my nephew or any of my family for that matter. Now I know what went through a lot of your minds. He doesn't want him around his nephew because he is a transexual. WRONG. I don't want him....her around my nephew because I know that she was molested as a child and the reality is that most children of molestation, molest. When you add that to the fact that most cases of molestation are by people that are known to the victim....yeah, I'm not feeling comfortable.

But the list goes on. She already had a fight (arguement) with my mom, according to my little sister. That's not surprising though. Hell, it was expected. My mom fights we every damn body. I even told her as much. I said, "mom, evertime I come over here you are in a fight with somebody". It pretty funny, because she's the nicest person you ever want to meet, but I think I'm the only person she doesn't get into it with. I think that's because she knows I'll stay my ass at home. I have no problem cutting my damn self off. One man is an island unto himself. LOL.

Plus, I don't want her to stay because she is a hustler to the core. She use to be a prostitute and I think she still have those garden tool tendencies. We know that she has committed murder, and after hearing the story from the horse's mouth. I don't believe that shit, and I've been seeeing way too many cases of family members killing family members lately. I don't really know this person.

And then there's the fact that she just looks plain freaky. Seriously, I don't know were to look at her. Anywhere I look I feel like I'm staring, and I am. Her breast, which are hormome injected real, hang down to her belly button. And it's not like I'm not use to seeing this, I got some over weight, big breasted women in my family. Women who, if you go over to visit them and catch them right out of bed, their breast will be at thier feet, but they will put on a bra to tame those puppies. Not her, she just let's those damn things hang like mellons on a vine. It ain't cute, especially since they are totally out of proprotion with her small frame. So then she try not to look at her breast and look her in the eyes. However this is impossible, because I find myself looking at what I know are cheek implants. Those damn things are so high and they look as hard as a rock, those along with her chin. It's like talking to a fucked up maniquin (plus her grill is a mess). Hell, and if you look away you feel like your being disrespectful. What the hell is a brother suppose to do.

Now, don't get me wrong. I ain't trying to hate but the reality is that even if Micheal Jackson was my brother. I'd love him to death, but it'd freak me out to be around him too much. There's a reason why absence makes the heart grow fonder, Damn it! So, in other words.......

BITCH, GO HOME!

And by the way, Happy Memorial Day.

-One Man's Opinon. Peace.