Lassie Go Home

Okay, so I'm thinking that my auncle is planning on stayind down here. There was already a vibe that this was playing in her mind within the first week of her being here, but kow I know it for sure. She called me yesterday calling herself scolding me for not returning her phone call last week. We I don't return phone calls, unless it is an emergency, especially if you are someone I plan on seeing within the next week or two. That is just how I roll.

At any rate she called me, on my cell (and I have told my mom to stop giving people my damn phone number). She is all exctied and telling me about this house they her and my little sister found that is close by my mom and how it is the perfect house and asking if I think they will approve her for the house and crap. She is going so fast that it's like she started at the end of the conversation, so when she ask my opinion I don't have the slightest idea of what she is talking about. So, she starts over, all exasperated and shit. Whatever, I need your ass to start at the beging because I don't have the slightest idea of what you are talking about.

In a nut shell she wants me to go look at the house with her on Wednesday, which I have already explained to her is mother movie day. Plus she is coming into some money, so she says, on the first and she is wondering if whoever is renting the house will let her move in with the five hundred dollars down payment.....What the fuck? How the hell am I suppose to know this?

In all honesty I think she was trying to work up the nerve to ask to borrow the five hundrd dollars for the down payment on the house. C'mon yall, I ain't new. I know when someone is working their way up to asking for something. So apparently she didn't get the memo. Nephew One Man don't lead money, bitch. (I'm sorry....I meant auntie.) Hell, I want even lend my momma money. You better ask somebody. Don't get me wrong, if my mom ask for money, I will give it to her (within reason), but if she ask to borrow it the answer is no, because I know she want pay it back and I know I want ask for it back so I just cut threw the chrade and give the damn money to her. Other than that, NO. And I especially don't lend out money to people with no reconizable source of income. Bitch, you don't got no job. (plus, next week is Uncle and Manny week at Disney World!)

Beside, I don't want her to move down her. She is freaking me out. I love her to death, but she is strange, plus I don't like her around my nephew or any of my family for that matter. Now I know what went through a lot of your minds. He doesn't want him around his nephew because he is a transexual. WRONG. I don't want him....her around my nephew because I know that she was molested as a child and the reality is that most children of molestation, molest. When you add that to the fact that most cases of molestation are by people that are known to the victim....yeah, I'm not feeling comfortable.

But the list goes on. She already had a fight (arguement) with my mom, according to my little sister. That's not surprising though. Hell, it was expected. My mom fights we every damn body. I even told her as much. I said, "mom, evertime I come over here you are in a fight with somebody". It pretty funny, because she's the nicest person you ever want to meet, but I think I'm the only person she doesn't get into it with. I think that's because she knows I'll stay my ass at home. I have no problem cutting my damn self off. One man is an island unto himself. LOL.

Plus, I don't want her to stay because she is a hustler to the core. She use to be a prostitute and I think she still have those garden tool tendencies. We know that she has committed murder, and after hearing the story from the horse's mouth. I don't believe that shit, and I've been seeeing way too many cases of family members killing family members lately. I don't really know this person.

And then there's the fact that she just looks plain freaky. Seriously, I don't know were to look at her. Anywhere I look I feel like I'm staring, and I am. Her breast, which are hormome injected real, hang down to her belly button. And it's not like I'm not use to seeing this, I got some over weight, big breasted women in my family. Women who, if you go over to visit them and catch them right out of bed, their breast will be at thier feet, but they will put on a bra to tame those puppies. Not her, she just let's those damn things hang like mellons on a vine. It ain't cute, especially since they are totally out of proprotion with her small frame. So then she try not to look at her breast and look her in the eyes. However this is impossible, because I find myself looking at what I know are cheek implants. Those damn things are so high and they look as hard as a rock, those along with her chin. It's like talking to a fucked up maniquin (plus her grill is a mess). Hell, and if you look away you feel like your being disrespectful. What the hell is a brother suppose to do.

Now, don't get me wrong. I ain't trying to hate but the reality is that even if Micheal Jackson was my brother. I'd love him to death, but it'd freak me out to be around him too much. There's a reason why absence makes the heart grow fonder, Damn it! So, in other words.......

BITCH, GO HOME!

And by the way, Happy Memorial Day.

-One Man's Opinon. Peace.