What Was I Thinking?

WE'RE BACK!

What the hell was I thinking; taking a four year old little boy to Disney world-for a week, mind you-all on my own?  Obviously I wasn't.   Well, we left the first Tuesday of this month and got back last Tuesday and I used all of yesterday to recoup from the whole damn experience.  It was so nice to take naps again.  My old ass needs my naps, damn it.  

For does of you not in the know, I had this great idea to take my little nephew, Manny, to Disney world for a week to celebrate his fourth birthday.  It seems like a good idea at the time.  Me and my nephew, alone at the happiest place on earth, bonding and growing closer...What a rip.  What does bastards at Disney don't show you is how taxing it is on the body to fight to crowds and having to constantly say no, and don't and shut the fuck up.  Okay, maybe not shut the fuck up, but I thought it.  My little nephew can TALK.  LOL.  

Day one: we land, get our room and head off to Magic Kingdom.  By the time we got back my ass was ready to come home.  

Day two:  we meet up with a family we met on the plane.  This made life a lot easier, because Manny had two kids to interact with and I had a host of five adults to share the wealth of his attention with.  So great.  I was still ready to come home by the end of the day.  It was at this point that I truly realized that the trip was a bad idea.  Not the taking Manny to Disneyland part, but the taking him alone part.  Yeah, worst idea ever.

Day three:  I take him to the water park, because all he really wants to do is play in the pool.  Come to find out that the water park is not one of the theme parks that was included in our deal.  No big deal.  I love my nephew and this will be fun for him.  Pay the big bucks to get into the damn thing and the boy acts like he is afraid to get wet.  So, we stay there for an hour at best, until I get frustrated with him and ask him if he wants to just leave.  He says yes, off we go to catch the bus back to the resort.  We get to the resort and as we are passing the pool to get to our room his ass ask if we can go swimming.  Uh, no.  We take a nap and then go to see UP (very good movie, by the way) and eat at Planet Hollywood. 

As the days pass by, it gets better and better, but I am still counting down the days till we can fly back to Dallas and I can drop him back off with his mommy.  LOL.  The boy wore me out, but in a good way.  I love my nephew to death.  He is so smart and so much like his Granny, I had no idea.  He really is a little angel.  Not bad at all, just a handful; which is par for the course with any four year old, be they male or female.  

I had to scold him a few times, but that comes with the package.  But I never had to yell or raise my hand to him (although I had to ask him if he need a spanking a couple of times).  The boy made me laugh way to much and to be more than three times his age I was proud I was able to keep up with him.  Manny's uncle is a home body and having to get up and go everyday is not part of his makeup.  

So, what did I learn from the whole experience?  Well, I learned just how much I love my nephew and he loves me.  I learned that I might not be doing this every year on his birthdays and if I do, to take another adult to hear bare the brunt of the it.  I learned just how smart my nephew is and that his intellect is not being pushed to its fullness.  I learned that my nephew is a crowd pleaser (everyone just fell in love with him).  I learned just how good a job I think my sister is doing with my little nephew.  He is very well behaved.  I learned a lot about his little personality.  He might pretend to be shy, but his ass ain't.  He is quick to let you know if you have done something that he does not approve of (stranger in particular).   I learned that Disney World would be the bomb, if it wasn't for all the damn people and their kids.  LOL

Oh, and the Pop Century is a very cool resort to stay at.  We had a ball, even though I had to take a day to recover from the experience.

-One Man's Opinion.  Peace.

Oh, and just for the record.  To see the smile on my nephew's face, when he meet Mickey Mouse, made the whole experience worth while, and I mean that.  

Lassie Go Home

Okay, so I'm thinking that my auncle is planning on stayind down here. There was already a vibe that this was playing in her mind within the first week of her being here, but kow I know it for sure. She called me yesterday calling herself scolding me for not returning her phone call last week. We I don't return phone calls, unless it is an emergency, especially if you are someone I plan on seeing within the next week or two. That is just how I roll.

At any rate she called me, on my cell (and I have told my mom to stop giving people my damn phone number). She is all exctied and telling me about this house they her and my little sister found that is close by my mom and how it is the perfect house and asking if I think they will approve her for the house and crap. She is going so fast that it's like she started at the end of the conversation, so when she ask my opinion I don't have the slightest idea of what she is talking about. So, she starts over, all exasperated and shit. Whatever, I need your ass to start at the beging because I don't have the slightest idea of what you are talking about.

In a nut shell she wants me to go look at the house with her on Wednesday, which I have already explained to her is mother movie day. Plus she is coming into some money, so she says, on the first and she is wondering if whoever is renting the house will let her move in with the five hundred dollars down payment.....What the fuck? How the hell am I suppose to know this?

In all honesty I think she was trying to work up the nerve to ask to borrow the five hundrd dollars for the down payment on the house. C'mon yall, I ain't new. I know when someone is working their way up to asking for something. So apparently she didn't get the memo. Nephew One Man don't lead money, bitch. (I'm sorry....I meant auntie.) Hell, I want even lend my momma money. You better ask somebody. Don't get me wrong, if my mom ask for money, I will give it to her (within reason), but if she ask to borrow it the answer is no, because I know she want pay it back and I know I want ask for it back so I just cut threw the chrade and give the damn money to her. Other than that, NO. And I especially don't lend out money to people with no reconizable source of income. Bitch, you don't got no job. (plus, next week is Uncle and Manny week at Disney World!)

Beside, I don't want her to move down her. She is freaking me out. I love her to death, but she is strange, plus I don't like her around my nephew or any of my family for that matter. Now I know what went through a lot of your minds. He doesn't want him around his nephew because he is a transexual. WRONG. I don't want him....her around my nephew because I know that she was molested as a child and the reality is that most children of molestation, molest. When you add that to the fact that most cases of molestation are by people that are known to the victim....yeah, I'm not feeling comfortable.

But the list goes on. She already had a fight (arguement) with my mom, according to my little sister. That's not surprising though. Hell, it was expected. My mom fights we every damn body. I even told her as much. I said, "mom, evertime I come over here you are in a fight with somebody". It pretty funny, because she's the nicest person you ever want to meet, but I think I'm the only person she doesn't get into it with. I think that's because she knows I'll stay my ass at home. I have no problem cutting my damn self off. One man is an island unto himself. LOL.

Plus, I don't want her to stay because she is a hustler to the core. She use to be a prostitute and I think she still have those garden tool tendencies. We know that she has committed murder, and after hearing the story from the horse's mouth. I don't believe that shit, and I've been seeeing way too many cases of family members killing family members lately. I don't really know this person.

And then there's the fact that she just looks plain freaky. Seriously, I don't know were to look at her. Anywhere I look I feel like I'm staring, and I am. Her breast, which are hormome injected real, hang down to her belly button. And it's not like I'm not use to seeing this, I got some over weight, big breasted women in my family. Women who, if you go over to visit them and catch them right out of bed, their breast will be at thier feet, but they will put on a bra to tame those puppies. Not her, she just let's those damn things hang like mellons on a vine. It ain't cute, especially since they are totally out of proprotion with her small frame. So then she try not to look at her breast and look her in the eyes. However this is impossible, because I find myself looking at what I know are cheek implants. Those damn things are so high and they look as hard as a rock, those along with her chin. It's like talking to a fucked up maniquin (plus her grill is a mess). Hell, and if you look away you feel like your being disrespectful. What the hell is a brother suppose to do.

Now, don't get me wrong. I ain't trying to hate but the reality is that even if Micheal Jackson was my brother. I'd love him to death, but it'd freak me out to be around him too much. There's a reason why absence makes the heart grow fonder, Damn it! So, in other words.......

BITCH, GO HOME!

And by the way, Happy Memorial Day.

-One Man's Opinon. Peace.

I Have a Question

I have a question and it is about masturbation.  No, it is not about who or why people masturbate.  I know the answer to both.  Everybody masturbates; men, women, animals...everybody.  Here is my question:  Do you think it is wrong to masturbate when you are in a legitimate, long term relationship?

My answer to the question is yes.  Now, admittedly I have not been in a relationship in forever, so I masturbated like nobody's business.  Hell, nowadays I  masturbate simply for the exercise.  However, when I was in a relationship I never did.  I never felt the need to. 

One of the reason why I didn't masturbate is because I felt like it was a form of cheating.  Yeah, I know that that's crazy talk but it is still how I felt at the time.  Other reasons why I didn't feel the need to masturbate is because  when I was in a relationship I was never as horny as I was when I was outside of a relationship, thus the need for sex was not as crucial.  Lastly, I always felt like, why should I have to masturbate when I have someone who is suppose to be there to help me for fill those sexual needs.  

Seriously, I honestly think that if you are masturbating in a relationship then it is a sign of trouble in that relationship.  I mean, think about it.  Why should you have to pleasure yourself if you are in a relationship.  Sure, I can understand it if that love one is not right there and handy, but if they are in the house with you then they should be there to for fill your sexual needs.  

Well, that's my take on the subject.  What's yours?

-One Man's Opinion.  Peace.   

Questions for a Funeral

I am no longer on the streets good people, for those of you who do not know.  I now work in communications (dispatcher).  This week one of our ladies son commit suicide.  It was very tragic, as you can imagine.  Of course I believe that to be the case when anyone takes there life.  Suicide is an permanent answer to a temporary problem.  

At any rate today, when I got off work, I took a little nap, got up, dressed and went to the funeral service (Catholic).  Even thought it rained, it was a nice little gathering of people.  Not as many of her co-works as I would have imagined, but what do I know?

Anyway, I have some question for a funeral.  Ready?

Question one:  If you are at a funeral isn't it common sense to turn off your telephone?  I don't want to hear your blame it on the alcohol, ring tone during services.  

Question two:  I don't have a problem with people who bring their kids to funeral service however....Doesn't it make sense to take a crying baby out of the room during the ceremony?  Why would you keep a screaming child inside as a distraction?

Question three:  Who the hell drinks coffee at a funeral?  That's right....Coffee!  As I was standing in the cathedral there was a lady next to me that just keep drink her seven up coffee, from it's container.   What the hell?  I seriously wanted to knock the thing out of her hand.  Who does that?

Question four:  Why did the priest end up playing the song, "I get around", during the service.  At first I thought it was another cell phone going off, but no, it was coming from the pulpit.  So then I thought it was a musical tribute, when it continued to play for a good two minutes.  Then the priest apologizes and says he was looking for a song.  Seriously.  Can you believe that?

Question five:  Why is it that the when it was all said and done they could not get the front doors open and the line backed up as they were trying to get the casket out?  It was both said and comical at the same time.

Question six:  Why was the wife crying?  I was told that the reason he killed his self was because he had lost his job and his wife was cheating on him and asking for a divorce.  So why was she even there and better yet...Why was she outside yell for him not to leave her?  You were leaving him, damn it!

Anyway, that's about the size of it.  

-One Man's Opinion.  Peace.