Tagged! Ain't That A B*?

I was tagged by both C. Wallace and Ieisha. So, I guess I will play along. Damn it!

Here are the rules:1. Link the person who tagged you (which I don't know how to do, sorry).2. Mention the rules in your blog.3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Here it goes...6 idiosyncrasies about One Man and you will be sorry that you asked, trust me:

1) I have been touching myself way more than I should, lately. I would say I don't know why, but I know why. I feel so dirty.

2) In my heart of hearts I wish my sister would let me raise my little nephew. It's not that she isn't doing a great job of raising him, because he is the best behaved little monster you ever wanna meet. I just wish he was mine. Of course, he wears a brother out, so I'll be careful what I wish for. Maybe I wish that I had more hours of the day to spend with him. I hate the rear occassions that he wants to go with his uncle and I can't take him because I am just too damn tired and he needs all of my attention. He is not one of those sit down and watch television kids, like I was. And I like the fact that he wants to play, and have books read to him, but damn. LOL

3) I miss my grandmother with all my heart. She passed a way when I was still in high school, but no one, including my mom, has ever loved me as hard as my Gammy loved me. When I was in the third grade, my grandmother had her first heartache and I was so afraid she was going to die that I made a pact with God that if he took her life I wanted him to take my life as well, because that was right around the time I learned about death and didn't think I could live without my Gammy. He let her live and I took the pact further and told told God that if He ever took my Grandmother I wanted him to take me too because I didn't want to live without her. It was a blessing, because God keep his pact with me. It wasn't until I was in high school and she kelp getting hospitalized that it occurred to me that God was not taking my Gammy, because he was keeping his pact with me and he was not ready to take me. It was actually a turning point in my life and my faith. I had went to see my Grandmother, the last time she was hospitalized, and I remember how bad she looked. When I got home that night, I said the most heart felt prayer that I'd had in a long while. I cried and asked God if the only reason he was keeping my Gammy, when she was suffering, was because He didn't want to take me, that I relieved him from our pact; because I was just being selfish and I didn't want my Gammy to suffer. She died that next morning while I was at school. When my mom came to pick me up from school, and she never came to pick me up from school, she broke the news to me as we drove home. She had brought my Aunt with her, on my step-father's side of the family. I know she expected me to cry like a baby, but I didn't; because I already knew. This is when I knew without a doubt that My God was real. This is the event that I turn to when my faith is shaken. I never cried for the death of my grandmother until a week later, while I was outside picking up the trash in the yard. It was a nice balmy day and something just came over me and I just stood in the yard and openly wept. (I'm gonna move on now, because this is making me cry).

4) My Stepfather was abusive. He use to beat us, I think because we were not his kids (I know that sounds Color Purplish, but I have always thought that). He never touched us while he and my mom was dating, but as soon as he put that ring on her finger the beating started. The beating kind of stopped once my mom gave him twins. I have always been able to draw, another gift from God. When he was courting my mom and I thought he was nice, I found a full body picture of him and drew for a gift. I was in the second grade (I remember my age people because all of these thing happened when we were still living in South Dallas. We didn't move to Oakcliff until I was in the fourth grade, when my Grandmother kicked my Stepfather out for beating me for over an hour). Anyway, I drew this full body image of him, and trust me when I say that I could draw an exact likeness from a picture at that age, and gave it to him. Instead of being flattered all he did was criticize that I had drawn all of the creases and folds that his pants made in the groin area (what the fuck). He said it was inappropriate for me to have taken so much time recreating it. Can you believe that crap? I was, what, seven? I never drew another picture of him. When I was in high school and drew a picture of the family, for my mom on mothers day, I intentionally left him out. I knew it hurt his feelings, but I never got over that little comment. The painting that I post of him and my mom was the first time I had ever created another likeness of him. And you know what? That likeness of him was taken from a picture I took the day before he die. He died without me having closure, but I was glad I had swallowed my pride that day and asked to take his picture. He was in so much pain, but he got up and stood for it. I guess that was nice. I am also glad that I went to get him some grape juice that day. Normally I would not have taken time to do anything for him, but I was trying very hard to release the hate.

5) I am so afraid that I am going to suffer from Alzheimer's when I get older, if I live to get much older. Nobody ever believes me when I say this, but I am so serious. I feel the onset of it everyday. I forget simple things constantly. I often forget the name of the person I am talking to and call them every body's name but their own. There are other tale-tale signs that I will not get into, but it is a honest concern of mine.

6) I suck my thumb. I have already admitted this before. I am not ashamed of it, to be honest. I have always sucked my thumb and have come to terms with the fact that I always will. I either suck it when I am insecure or when I am at my most content. I have been known to suck it during sex, so I'm not sure which category it is falling under during that time. I have sucked it in my squad car, but never in the office. When I was working in the admissions office at one of the Community Colleges here, I remember that I needed to know something and my supervisor wouldn't tell me. She said she didn't know the answer but I thought she was lying and for some reason it made me feel really insecure. I remember sitting at my desk, which was one of the main three closest to the front counter, and sucking my thumb. I couldn't help it and to be honest with you I hadn't even realized that I'd placed it in my mouth. My supervisor was stunned and called me in her office to tell me that it was not professional for me to be sitting at my desk sucking my thumb. She was right, of course, but I told her I couldn't help it. I couldn't either. It was my body's way of providing me comfort and my thumb was instinctively going into my mouth, whether I liked it or not. That is still how it happens. I am never really aware when I pop my thumb in my mouth. It just happens.

See, I told yall this was gonna be more than you wanted to know about me. Now I can never meet any of you in real life. Don't ever tag me again!

-One Man's Opinion. Peace.