Prelude To A Fucked Up Vacation

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Once Bitten

I think I got bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider sometime this week. For some reason, when I first saw it, I thought it was a ring worm. Now I am pretty sure that I got bitten. This sucks, because I Googled it and I really need to go to the doctor, but I’m afraid to go to the doctor, because we are getting ready to take my nephew to Sea World in San Antonio and I want every bit of my cash to spend on his little ass. Isn’t that horrible? I’ll probably lose this arm in San Antonio and traumatize him for the rest of his life. Or, it will make a heck of a story. How uncle One Man literally gave his left arm so I could have a great third birthday. Naw, I don’t think it’s worth the risk, so here is what I’m going to do. I’m going to wait until tomorrow; we don’t leave until Friday, and see if I can get a last minute visit with my Doctor.

I still can’t believe that I actually have a doctor. When we were growing up we had to the county hospital and waited in line for a life time to be seen. So, unless someone had been shot or stabbed, we rarely went to see a doctor. Oddly enough, when I was younger, people were getting shot and stabbed a lot in my family. Go figure.

Anyway, the little bite is really beginning to look horrible. It probably doesn’t help that I scratch the hell out of it. I almost took my knife to it, but I resisted the urge. I really don’t want this to ruin my trip to Sea World. I’m almost certain that I don’t need to get into swimming pools and stuff with it. Plus, the possible side effect are gonna suck like help, if they decide to rear their ugly head. I’m hoping that any side effects will happen before the end of today or early tomorrow so I can make time to see the damn doctor. I know. I know. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but I’m a guy. We hate doctors. I know that’s just an old stereotype, but I’m gonna live up to it.

Wow, this is a big change for the post I was going to do about the little gang banging punk that tried to give me attitude and I had to put his ass in jail. I was already to regale you good people with a story about what you don’t see prior to everything going bad. The untold story about the ass hole that sets the police off. There are so many misconceptions out there. If this was that kind of blog I’d be attempting to address them all. But fuck that! I got bit by a spider and the shit is irritating the hell out of me!

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

Kermit the Frog reacts to

I am so naïve. We are talking so naïve that when my cousin told me that the word naïve was not in the dictionary I looked it in order to see for myself. As it turns out, it is in the dictionary; they just spelled it incorrectly.

Anyway, the reason for this story is because of the controversial video titled Two Girls, One Cup. I learned about this video a few weeks back, from one of my ex-troops. I don’t remember what made him bring up the topic, especially since I’m a bit of a prude, but when he initially told me about it I could have sworn he had called the video two girls in one cup. For some reason my mind went directly to two girls in a tea cup ride. He went on to give the vaguest description anyone could give of a video. I guess he didn’t want to ruin the story for me.

He wanted me to know that the video was gross. He described it as porn, but not really, and sad that it depicted two girls doing unspoken deeds to one another. I am still thinking, okay, how explicit could it be if they were showing it on YouTube. Anyway, ever once and a while the thought of two girls in a cup would run through my head, but I was always have lap top issues so I was never given the opportunity to run through all of the Google entries, in order to located the video. I found plenty of YouTube footage that showed peoples reaction to watching the video, but never the video itself. This only served to piqué my curiosity.

Well, earlier last week I was able to find the video (Not on YouTube). Let me just say it is the most disturbing video you ever want to see. I couldn’t even stand to watch the whole thing. I wasn’t even aware that people did things like this. And the fact that someone would put it on tape for someone’s sexual enjoyment is beyond me. Hell, the fact that two young girls would agree to do it is beyond me. I hope they got paid well for it.

Anyway, we were talking about it at work, when I confronted my ex-troop about this traumatizing video and another officer described it as something that you have to see before you die. I think I could have done without seeing it before I die, but it is definitely something that I will take with me to my grave. So, I am not recommending that you attempt to locate and view this video. As a matter of fact, if you have not already seen it don’t let this posting entice you into hunting for it. It will scar you for life. For life I tell you! However, on the positive side, if not for looking for said sexually depraved video I would not have stumbled across the above YouTube posting. I think this is the funniest video ever to be posted on YouTube. It actually helps to alleviate some of the pain of watching Two Girls, One Cup.

Enjoy and Have a Happy Memorial Day.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

FUCK THE POLICE!

The Reason Why:

So this is the reason why. I was in denial before but now the shit is all up in my face. So this is the reason why every time I turn around someone is hating on the police. Let me explain. I wake up this morning and decided to check out my City Email, since I have been off for the past two days, before I head out to get my ‘do done (get a haircut). Well, I open up the mail and what to my wonder eyes do I see. Another DPD officer arrested, oh me.

It would seem that Senior Corporal, let’s call him, Dumbass. Senior Corporal Dumbass has been arrest and charged with Bribery, a Second Degree Felony according to the Texas Penal Code. According to the press release Corporal Dumbass was demanding and receiving money from a Vietnamese family in exchange for not reporting potential violations of gambling laws. Of course someone snitched his ass out. Our Public Integrity detectives were on that shit like fly on….well, shit. They set up a sting and took his ass down. So, you bastards can say what you want but the system works when used correctly. The problem is that people want to handle the shit themselves instead of going through the proper channels. I can’t speak for any other Department, but where I work we investigate that shit to the highest degree. The problem is, we have so many citizens that put in bogus complaints, just to be vindictive, that it takes away from the time that could be spent going after the legitimate stuff. I have a cure for that as well. If they’d start prosecuting the lying bastards for “Perjury” they’d cut out some of those bogus complaints, but that’s a post for another day.

You know what really gets me about Corporal Dumbass? I know his Dumbass! And that says a lot, because I am not a social being and I don’t know too many police officers. And I especially don’t like associating with the majority of them for reasons I prefer not to get into. But Corporal Dumbass actually road out with me a couple of times while he was completing his training. I never thought he was going to be a stand out, as far as policing goes, but it never dawned on me that his ass would become a crook. Pick a side, damn it! Either up hold the law or break it, you fucking idiot.

Senior Corporal Dumbass is the second officer that I have known personally….strike that, third, that has done something to get their dumbasses fired. First there was Officer Dickhead, who got fired for propositioning a woman on a traffic stop. He wouldn’t give her a ticket if she’d give him head. What the fuck? Do you realize how much pussy is thrown at officers, and I don’t care what the officer looks like, just because of that damn uniform? And you go and lose your job (Official Oppression), because you had a hard on. And keep in mind that Officer Dickhead was married and already had no telling how many harlots on the side. Damn, how much nutt does this man have in this system to release?

Then there was Officer Coconut. His dumbass was fired for taking money from Hispanics, on traffic stops. Really? Is it that serious? Work an extra job, you lazy bastard! Seriously, extra jobs are out there in abundance. I don’t personally work them, but I could if I wanted. They are easy to find and easy to do. Pretty much you are paid a minimum of $35 an hour to put on your uniform and sit on your ass. They are so easy that officers bring books to read, or DVD’s to watch, on thier extra job. Actually, that is one of the reasons why I don’t work them. I don’t like to get paid for doing nothing. I remember I worked this one extra job, a fellow officer was in a bind, at a grocery store. I was bored out of my skull. So bored in fact that I started sacking groceries. The store manager didn’t think it promoted a good image for me to be standing there, in full uniform, sacking groceries so she asked me to stop. I personally didn’t agree. I was in plain sight, I could see everything that was going on around me, I was close to the door, and I thought it made me look like an actually servant to the community. But what do I know. I stopped and went back to roaming aimlessly around the store until my five hours was up. Fat lot of help I was going to be if someone ran out the front with a frozen turkey, while I was lumbering down aisle seven, checking out the feminine hygiene products.

The point is, there is honest money to be had and butt loads of pussy to be diddled, so why do dirt? I’ll tell you why, because power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. It is so damn annoying. I make this big stink about people not hating on the police and then these ignorant, dirty ass, motherfucker go out there and make me look like an idiot. But you know something? I can call them out on their bullshit, because I walk in their shoes every day. They are my family, in blue. I have ties to them, so I can call their ass out. But you, you can’t call out my family! I don’t care if it is hypocritical. That’s just life.

And you know what else gets me? Why the fuck is it that we minority officers feeling the need to victimize our own people? Yes, Senior Corporal Dumbass was Vietnamese. Yes, Officer Coconut was Hispanic. And yes, Officer Dickhead did proposition a sister. C’mon now, if you are gonna victimize someone, victimize someone that doesn’t look like you. I got to hand it to white officers in that regard. When they decide to misuse their authority they go straight for the minorities, but not us minorities. We decide to hurt ourselves. What the fuck is up with that? You got the power, if you’re going to misuse it. Misuse it on someone with pale skin! LOL. That is so wrong, but I’m just saying.

DAMN POLICE!

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

Fuck it. I still where that shyt well!