Don't Hate On My Sexy

You know what I don’t understand? I don’t understand why people are always hating on my sexy. Let me explain. When I go to work I normally wear those black socks that just cover your ankle bump along with my boots. They are comfortable, easy to put on and I just like the damn things. Lately, Sgt. Lupe has been constantly getting on me about not wearing socks. I always say, I got on sock (because I don’t be using proper English), you just can see them. Then she takes it to the next level and begins to hate on my so called ashy legs. Well, nobody sees my legs unless I am sitting down and my pants legs ride up pass the height of my boots. Besides, why you looking anyway?

Well, last night I had to come into the station and release Sgt. Greyhound @ 3:15, so I didn’t get to stay out long and play, which was fine. I enjoy being in the station alone with no damn body to bother me. Leave me alone damn it. I’m basking in my effervescence (I don’t even know what that means; I just wanted to say it). Well, day’s office staff comes in a little bit before 6:30 and no one says anything to me about my legs because nobody is looking below my waist. Well, here comes Sgt. Lupe, instigating shit.

Sgt. Lupe: “Sgt. One Man, I hope you wear socks tomorrow, we sick of seeing your ashy legs.”
Well of course all eyes go to the ash. I don’t care.
One Man: “I done told you I got on socks, woman. Stop trying to start stuff.
Sgt. Lupe: “Well you need some lotion. Look at his legs ladies, don’t he need some lotion?
The two days people are both older ladies. One black and one white.
One Man: “Don’t hate. My Legs are damn sexy. (Pulls up pants legs to revel the sexiness of my bony, ash encrusted legs. Then turns leg to show of the little calf muscle.)
White one: (Laughing) “That’s pretty bad Sgt.”
Black one: (Smiling) “You need some lotion? I got plenty of lotion in my purse.”
One Man: “What I need lotion for? (Pant legs still rolled up to exposed the blacken knee.) The ash is what’s in. Didn’t you know that women love an ashy man? It’s an aphrodisiac of sorts. Look it up. Pheromones don’t got noting on a brother’s ash factor. You better ask somebody. (Rolls up other pants leg to revel equally sexy and ash leg.)

Well, having done her duty, Sgt Lupe announces that she is gone and I am left to spend the next hour and a half with these ladies hating on my sexy and trying to get me to put lotion on my ankles. This is when I explain to them that I don’t use lotion. I don’t like lotion. I hate the way it feels on my body (I’ve addressed the issue before, in a previous post. In fact the only thing I use lotion for is my hands and my penis. LOL. Just kidding. I’m so nasty).

Besides, what woman don’t like a man with an ash line. That shit is sexy. You know it. I was turning my damn self on as I look down at it. So much so that I took a picture of it and posted it for the whole world to see. You’ve seen it. Now ain’t it sexy? You can admit it. Don’t hate on the sexy. Jesus don’t like that.

-One Man’s Opinion. Peace.

It's a damn shame. Hating on my sexy.